


Let's Team Up

by NoMansWindow2846



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Bad guy for good reasons, Internalized Homophobia, Multi, Mutual Pining, One-Sided Relationship, Pining, Temporary Character Death, in chapter 17 and 18, lots of heroes, one-sided egobang, you get powers and you get powers everyone gets powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 02:23:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 27
Words: 54,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9299867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoMansWindow2846/pseuds/NoMansWindow2846
Summary: Being a hero is easy when you can keep it away from your normal life. All that goes to Hell when Arin starts to piece things together. With the help of Barry, Dan tries to keep things under wraps. When that ultimately fails, Dan, with help of some new friends, tries to keep the city of LA safe.On hiatus indefinitely





	1. Arin, just leave

**Author's Note:**

> Weekly updates every Monday  
> my tumblr: [ elisisland](http://elisisland.tumblr.com/)

‘Barry can help. Barry knows and will help. Barry isn’t home.’

Dan paused mid-step. ‘Barry is out tonight.’ Dan let out a sigh, his shoulders sinking even further. Of course the one night Dan would need help out of his suit and Barry decided that he needed to go out as well. At this point, it was just Dan’s luck, nothing with all this vigilante business worked out for him ever.

As Dan unlocked the back door, a noise made him stop. Not unlike a cheesy action film, someone threw a rock at Dan’s head. Another frustrated sigh left his lips. Dan really didn’t want to deal with some neighborhood punk that thought they could take Dan on. Dan turned around, ready to shoot a small blast at the rascal, but his heart skipped a beat when he saw who threw the first rock.

Arin, in a pair of gray sweatpants, stood, tossing a second rock and looking more than ready to fight Dan. Obviously not intimated by Dan’s height, even though his cleats had added at least two inches, Arin threw the second rock, knocking Dan in the center of his chest. The rock bounced off and Dan followed it with his eyes before Arin tossed another rock at Dan. “What are you doing?! Huh?! I thought you were supposed to be a good guy!” A fourth rock landed on the midpoint of Dan’s helmet, scraping the thick glass.

Dan blinked at Arin. ‘He cannot really being doing this, right?’ How Arin was finding all these rocks, Dan would never know, but he wasn’t going to let Arin pelt him with rocks until the sun came up. As another rock arched towards the older man, Dan sighed and let a small beam intersect the rock’s trajectory, destroying it in the process. Arin’s eyes widened slightly in the dim light of the moon, clearly impressed by Dan’s sharpshooting.

Dan was extremely thankful that he had opted for a voice scramble at a moment like this, when someone he knew would approach him or he would save them from certain death. “ _Can you stop that for a moment?_ ” Arin blinked, but stood straighter, dropping the rock. “ _Thank god. You know how annoying that is? Listen, I just need to talk to someone here and then I’ll leave if that makes you happy._ ”

Arin nodded, slightly stunned at the weird voice coming out of Lumino. Sure, he had heard the hero on the news, but Arin thought it was a dub from the news station and not the hero himself. “Well, I’ll let you in. I know the people who live here. They’re really chill and gave me a key.”

Dan knew for sure that he hadn’t given Arin a key and knew Barry wouldn’t have given anyone a key either. And Dan also knew he couldn’t bring up later because secret identity shit. He really hate that rule, but being popular with the show and NSP would only compound his hero fame, which Dan was determined to keep separate. Dan held his tongue as Arin slipped his key into the lock before slamming the door open.

“Yo! Dan! Barry! You got a guest!” Arin called into the empty house. Arin frowned, he would have heard at least some cursing from one of them as they scrambled to greet Arin, but nothing. He turned to Lumino, “Sorry, dude. I thought someone would be here.”

Dan gave a half-hearted smile from behind the tinted glass. “ _It’s fine. I’ll wait here for one of them to show up._ ”

Arin crossed his arms. “Oh no you don’t. For all I know, you don’t know anything about these guys and are just here to rob them. I’m not going to let my best friend get robbed.”

Dan sighed, falling into one of the kitchen chairs. It was not his day, was it? First Arin showed up and now he wouldn’t leave. It was just absolutely perfect. “ _I know I’m a vigilante, but I’m not going to rob them, okay? Will you trust me?_ ” Arin shook his head, standing his ground. “ _Don’t you have someone you need to get back to? A girlfriend? Wife? Boyfriend? Husband?_ ” Dan threw out random names for a significant other, trying to downplay his knowledge. Another shake. At this point, Dan would have pulled his helmet off and screamed at Arin to give back his copy key and to get out, but that would break his number one rule with Barry.

Arin tapped his foot. “Are we leaving now or do you want to make a snack too?” Lumino’s stomach growled and he clutched it, eyeing the fridge. “I can’t believe you right now.” Arin pulled Lumino off his sorry ass and back into the chilly autumn air. “No one’s home and I’m not going to let you just stay and their living room.” Arin locked the back door before calling Dan.

Dan watched Arin tap his contact before putting up to his ear. He would totally answer Arin if he wasn’t standing outside with him and his phone was in his hand instead of charging in his room. Arin tapped his foot some more before cursing and shoving the phone back into his pants pocket. Dan couldn’t help but smirk at their crazy situation. “ _No luck, huh?_ ” If looks could kill, Dan would have dropped at that moment, but he remained standing and only furthered his snickering.

“I’m getting real tired of your shit, Lumino. You know what? Fuck you. Fuck you and your stupid ass shooty lights. I’ve decided that I like Chiller better. He’s got a dumber name, but he’s the smarter of you two.” Arin huffed, crossing his arms again. “Remind me of the stupid asshole who didn’t answer his phone.”

Dan couldn’t take any more and promptly left Arin alone to huff about him. As soon as Dan was out of earshot of Arin, he let all the laughter spill from him. Eventually, he lost his breath and balance, falling to the ground in a piles of giggles and wheezing laughs. After a few minutes, Dan had caught his breath enough to try to Barry through the comms Barry had insisted on. Barry let out a grunt before saying hello. “ _Shit, dude. Is this a bad time?_ ”

“Of course not. What’s up? Did you lose your key? Again?”

Dan let out a few snickers. “ _Nothing like that. I, I just. Arin’s at our house. And he’s angry that we’re not answering our phone._ ”

Another grunt from Barry’s end. “What the fuck do you mean Arin’s at our house?”

The snickers dried up and Dan stood up, brushing himself off. “ _Oh god. What the fuck are we going to do? He won’t leave until one of us shows up and like I can’t be two places at once. We are so fucked, aren’t we?_ ”

Barry sighed. “Listen. Halloween is right around the corner. I can pretend that I went to a Halloween party and got shit faced. And I’ll invite you in. It’ll be fine. Just come help me and we’ll be even.”

Dan hastily agreed before shutting off the comm. He was going to hate to tell Arin that he would be back in a few minutes, but when he came back to the backyard, Arin had disappeared. Dan wasn’t just going to waltz back in and let Arin catch him red-handed in his own house. He dutifully checked the perimeter of the property, but Arin and any sort of transport he had was gone, the doors remained locked, and everything was fine.

All Dan wanted to do was strip and go to bed, but a promise was a promise and Dan was off to fight crime with Barry. By the time Dan arrived at the scene, Barry was shaking hands with a few cops, more out of formality than actually enjoying the company. Dan shot a small wave at the shorter man, who was glad to have an excuse to leave their presence.

Barry let a smile spread on his face. “Thanks for the help there, Lu. Glad you could help out.”

Dan rolled his eyes, a smile attaching to his face as well. “ _I would have been here sooner if Arin didn’t fucking disappear after I left him._ ”

Barry’s smile wavered, “Do you think he knows? Like that we’re…?” Dan shook his head, but with Arin there was no telling what was going on in his head. For all they knew, Arin had figured it out months ago, but kept it quiet on the off chance. “Um, okay then. Home?”

“ _Home._ ”


	2. Getting outed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arin starts to pieces things together.

Dan was very thankful that Barry had decided to turn in with him. The armor that coated his body was the worst thing that existed and Barry was sympathetic about it, helping Dan out of the nearly skin tight suit. After a few more thanks were given, Dan crawled into bed, letting the wears of the world roll off him. He would deal with Arin and his key in the morning, but right now it was all aboard to Sleepytime Junction.

When Dan woke the next morning, all he felt was sore. On some of the longer days, Dan would wake up tired and sore, a kink in his neck, but yesterday was a relatively short day. Dan should not be this sore. As he detangled himself from the sheets, Dan noticed a few message from the disappearing man. He pulled his phone closer as he rubbed a knot in his shoulders. Dan sighed as he pulled up the texts.

Arin: _hope you got home safe_  
Arin: _lumino the hero was looking for you or barry and like i thought about letting him stay but then i was like nah and told him to beat it_  
Arin: _he might be back tonite fyi_

Of all the things Dan didn’t want to deal with, this was getting higher and higher on the list as the seconds pass. He shot off a quick text acknowledging the younger man before standing up. His legs nearly buckled under the pain, but Dan had faced worst and it certainly wasn’t going to be the last time he felt sore.

It wasn’t until Dan was in the bathroom that he realized how bad he looked. He felt sore to all hell, but he looked just as bad, bruise decorating his body like flowers in a field. Dan dug around in their medicine cabinet, hoping that they still had concealer and he could cover the places that were more likely to be seen, such as his neck or around his waist. But nothing remotely showed up, just cold medicine and expired prescriptions. Dan let out a frustrated sigh. It wasn’t his day, was it?

Dan hurried to get ready, hoping that they could stop at a drug store or something and get the concealer that he needed. As Dan stepped out into the main space, it was clear that Barry need concealer just as much, a large hickey-like bruise on his collarbone. Dan snickered, but Barry shut him up quickly, pointing out all the sore spots on Dan.

After they both conceded, they left, ready to face the new day. When they arrived at the office, Arin pulled Dan into the recording space, excited so much as it left a pit in Dan’s stomach. Arin slammed the door shut and looked at Dan expectantly. Dan’s eyes turned to everything, but the younger man.

“Oh my god, Dan. You can’t just leave me in suspense. Who left those hickeys?”

Dan froze. Arin really thought the massive bruises were hickeys. ‘From what? A giant?’ “I, uh, they’re not hickeys.” Dan winced as Arin playfully shoved him back. “I’m serious, dude. They’re just bruises.”

Arin’s eyes widened. “Holy fuck. Did you get like mugged or something? I swear if you got mugged while-”

Dan interrupted, “No. I’m trying out martial arts. And I suck ass.”

“Are you sure? Because if you’re trying to defend that asshole that tried to break into your house-”

Dan sighed, drowning out Arin’s next few words. He really didn’t want Arin to trash talk him to his face. “He’s not an asshole who tried to break in.” Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, but that certainly wasn’t supposed to come out of Dan’s mouth. Not now. Not ever.

“What the fuck do you mean? You weren’t there. You would have answered me or your phone.”

This was literally the worst scenario for Dan to come out. It wasn’t natural. It wasn’t agreed upon. It wasn’t because he wanted to. “Can we get Barry in here?”

“Don’t you dare try to back the fuck out of this. You’re going to tell me exactly what you think happened last night. Because obviously you were there.”

Arin was pushy, but never this pushy. Something was certainly up. Dan trying to break into his own house, despite having a key, wasn’t helping with the suspicion. Dan rushed to come up with a convenient lie and all his brain could come up with was jerking it. “I was getting off.”

Arin pulled back, “What?”

Dan sighed, looking away from Arin. “I was masturbating. That’s why I didn’t answer.”

Arin tried to contain his laughter. Giggles flowed out of the younger man as Dan crossed his arms. Arin looked up at Dan from his slightly hunched position, “Are you serious, dude?” Dan glared, but only triggered more laughs. “Oh god, you can’t be serious.” Arin fell back on the couch, “I can’t believe you didn’t answer because you had your dick in your hand!”

At least it seemed like Arin was believing the lie. Dan’s identity was safe for now, but how much longer with Arin coming by in the middle of the night like last night, Dan could only guess. Dan watched Arin catch his breath only to lose it at the sight of Dan. Arin’s laugh was great and contagious when Dan wasn’t pissed at Arin and that was probably a watered down version of his true feelings. First Arin threw a bunch of rocks at him then broke into his house before disappearing into the night like Batman or something. Pissed could definitely be used, but livid would be a better word.

“Are you finished?” Arin nodded, sitting up on the couch and looking rather innocent. Dan sighed as he rubbed a sore spot on his arm. “Okay. Give me the key or whatever.”

Arin blinked, giving Dan a rather large goofy grin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Daniel.”

At some points in his career, Dan wondered if it would have been easier to just fight crime and leave all the gaming and singing to others. It sure wouldn’t have left Dan in this pickle. Dan would be out there punching a mugger in the face or giving an interview with the mayor or something less stressful than trying to get his best friends admit to breaking in. “Arin, please. You came into my place somehow. I want whatever you used.”

Arin pouted, “But Dan!”

Dan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn’t want to fight Arin about this or anything really. He just wanted the key and for Arin to not loiter around his house. “I don’t want to fight you about this, but I’ll get Barry in here if that’s what need to happen.” Arin conceited, mentioning that the key was at his desk with the rest of his keys. Dan stepped aside, letting Arin pass before following him out.

Dan was slower than Arin and Arin was able to throw the key over Dan’s shoulder to Barry who was chatting away with Ryan. Barry fumbled to catch it and pocketed the key, not missing a beat with his conversation. Dan turned to Barry and gave a soft smile. Barry returned the gesture before shooting a glare over the taller man to Arin.

Arin pouted again. “Bear, you gotta play along. You toss it back to me and we keep it away from Dan.” Barry rolled his eyes, then ignored any more of the older man’s pleadings. Arin turned to Ross, “I should have thrown it to you. You’re enough of an asshole to play keep away.” Ross shrugged as he continued to sketch. “You guys are no fun.” It was partly true. They were great people almost all of the time, but right now, to Arin, they were all being dicks.

Arin froze as Dan brushed past, retrieving his laptop before heading back to the recording room. How in the world did Dan know that Arin had a key and didn’t pick the lock or use a spare that they hid in a fake rock or something? Arin’s mind raced to come to some reasonable conclusion. Anything but his best friend was a superhero. It fit, sure, perfectly even, but Dan was lanky and a goof and wouldn’t harm a fly. Arin could not see Dan punching any sort of ne’er-do-wells. Brian, dresses as Ninja Brian, made more sense than Dan, or Danny Sexbang, as a hero or vigilante.

But that was the only thing Arin’s brain could agree on. Dan, the nerdy goofball that can’t fight anything, was actually Lumino, famed hero, by some. Arin slid into his desk chair as his brain tried to wrap itself around the idea that Dan could shoot lasers out of his fingers. That Arin had thrown rocks at Dan for trying to get into his own house. Arin let his head fall on his desk, musing to himself, “I really fucked up.”

Ross peeked over the wall of monitors to the older man. “You okay there, Arin? You looked like you cracked the Da Vinci code or some shit.” Arin lifted his head enough to glare at Ross, who let out a string of giggles. “You didn’t, you just thought you did. Okay. Have fun with that, yeah?”

‘Not Ross. Not today. Maybe tomorrow, but not today.’ Arin thought as he tried to determine which Grump to let all his world shattering knowledge rain upon. ‘Suzy would be great if she were here, but she’s not. I can try Matt or Ryan, but they would just think I’m crazy and they got a lot of editing to do.’ Speaking of editing, Arin’s eyes turned to the man behind him, ‘Barry would listen to my rambling so hard.’ Arin took a deep breath, tapping the shorter man on the shoulder.

Barry spun in his chair, nudging a headphone off one ear. While he hadn’t seen Arin’s entire breakdown or freak-out or whatever, Barry knew he was the one Arin was going to ramble to about it. He waited for Arin to say something about it or ask to step or something, but he just sat there, staring down at his hands. Barry initiated the talking part of their encounter, “Do you wanna go out for coffee or something?”

Arin let his face grow wide with a grin, “Sure. It’ll be on me.” Barry turned back to save his project as Arin gathered his wallet and jacket. As they stepped out of the office and into the mid-day sun, Arin noticed that Barry shrunk back on himself a bit. “What? You don’t like the warmth? It’s like the perfect temperature out here.”

Barry forced himself to relax. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the sun or the warmth. Quite the opposite actually, but something in his gut said that they weren’t out for a lazy stroll to the coffee place round the corner. “It is pretty nice. A bit warmer than yesterday.” Barry sucked in some air, “So, what’s this really about?” Arin laughed, obviously trying to hide what was going on. “Is this about the key? Because I’m wondering about that actually.”

Arin relaxed, thinking it could act as a nice segue into what he really brought Barry out of the office for. “Dan gave it to me. When you guys first moved in. Said it was a spare for emergencies.”

“Bullshit!”

Arin paused mid-step. Barry was a quiet, reserved guy and he rarely shouted. But he just did at Arin about a stupid key. Arin turned on his heels to the man a few steps behind him, “What?”

Barry pulled into himself, tugging at the ends of his jacket. “I, I, uh, meant, Dan and I agreed to not give out any keys.” Arin could look frightening when he wanted, but Barry had to play up his intimation to save face. “That was a rule we had since the beginning and, and if he gave it to you later, that, that would be fine,” Barry stuttered out, avoiding Arin’s heated gaze.

Arin reigned himself in, observing Barry and his slight shaking. Fearing he crossed a line, Arin took a step back and Barry watched him carefully, relaxing as Arin let his own guard down. A smile pulled at his face, “Are we good to go? Because I really don’t want us to be standing around for like an hour.” Barry caught up to Arin before falling into step with him. “So I may have lied about getting the key when you first moved in, but Dan did give me the key for emergencies and shit.”

Barry nodded, letting Arin lie through his teeth than confronting that mess again. As Arin continued to drone on about how the key came into his possession, Barry’s mind flashed back to last night and Dan snorting through the comm, the voice distorter making his laugh sound more rugged than it was. Barry let out a snort himself as Arin took a pause in his story.

“What?”

Barry snapped out of his memories and to the taller man. Obviously Arin hadn’t said anything remotely funny and confusion hung on his face. “Oh, no. I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at Dan laughing from last night.” It wasn’t a lie and Barry had no reason to correct himself.

Arin’s eyes widened. “I was going to tell you about him. I think something’s up with him and I don’t know if it’s safe to talk here.”

Those words, so familiar to Barry, sent a shiver down the shorter man’s spine. Barry always feared that he and Dan would be outed to the world and that all their fame would compound and mold into something that wouldn’t leave them alone for anything. Before Barry opened his mouth, Arin tugged him into the small shop. While this wasn’t the best place Arin to out him, Barry could think of at least five worse places. The place was relatively empty and soft music played in the background. As Arin guided Barry to a far table away from everyone, he felt his stomach sink further.

Arin left Barry to seat himself as he went to the counter, ordering for the both of them. He glanced back at the younger man, who quietly fiddled with the zipper of his jacket. Arin gave a soft smile when their eyes connected, then turned back to the barista. Once he had coffee in hand, Arin shuffled over to the man who looked more like a deer in the headlights than a man at a coffee shop.

“So I think I’m not the only one who’s noticed something up with Dan, right?” Arin started slowly, hoping with all his heart Barry, his fucking housemate, picked on the odd behavior too. Barry gave a curt nod, staring down at the swirling coffee mixture. Arin’s voice dropped to barely a whisper, “And I don’t think he’s taking martial arts classes.”

Barry squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that everything would be over in flash. That Arin would just shout it for the whole café to hear. But Arin continued in the hushed tone, “I think that there may be a possibility that Dan is Lumino.” Barry felt Arin move away from him, sliding off the table and jostling him in the process. Barry opened his eyes, if only to stare at Arin in disbelief. He had put together Dan, but not Barry? He was just a touch offended, but understood why. Arin spent countless hours with Dan, telling and retelling stories and sharing a life together on and off screen.

Arin was hoping for a bit more of a reaction from Barry, but the staring would do. “I know, right? Like Dan wouldn’t hurt a fly, but he, y’know. Like I’m serious about this. I have to tell you a story about him from last night.”

Barry pulled himself off the table as his mind flashed through the worst scenarios now that Arin knew. Who else knew? Who did Arin already tell? Was Barry the first one? Had any of the other Grumps figured it out? Was Arin the first one to get? It had been almost 3 and a half years that Dan had been a part of the show, but they had known each other for a while before then. How had it taken them this long to at least start to piece it together?

“Uh, earth to station Bear, we got a situation here.”

Barry turned to the taller man, who gave a sweet smile. “How,” Barry tested out his voice, “How sure are you about this?”

Arin took a deep breath, ready to explain all the reasons he was right, but hastily deflated, knowing that all he had was a gut feeling. “About 65% or so.”

Barry let out a sigh, thankful to whatever gods there were. Arin being unsure was a blessing in disguise and Barry was going to keep Arin guessing, unsure of his conclusion. “Okay. We can work with that, but we can’t approach Dan with that. What if we’re wrong and he goes off on us? We have to know 100% that he is who you think he is, okay?”

Arin nodded. “Okay. So what I got is Dan knew I had a key to you guys place.”

“I thought Dan gave it to you,” Barry deadpanned.

Arin blushed, “Okay, so I had a key to your place made without your permission, but I needed one for emergencies. You can have one for mine if you want.” Arin dug around his pocket before Barry stopped him and asked for another key to not be made. “But how will I get in?”

“If we need to let you in, I dunno, we’ll leave a spare hidden in a fake rock or something. Back to your reasoning.”

Arin returned to the same hushed tone, dropping his arms on the small table. “So Dan knew I had a key to your house, but he said he was getting off when I broke in, for lack of a better word, with Lumino. Lumino saw that I used a key to get in and he also saw me lock up and he was totally eyeing your fridge and like he didn’t sound like Dan when he talked because he had a voice distorter or something but he sounded like Dan. Like he said stuff Dan would. And that’s all I got.”

Barry nodded slowly. “So all you have is he saw you use a key and said things in the same fashion as Dan?” Arin nodded, excited that someone seemed to be agreeing with him. “That is a very weak argument. I mean, I wasn’t there, but from the way you made it sound, Lumino could be any guy really.” Arin sunk into his seat defeated. “But hey, we can totally start anew and get really sound evidence.”

Arin mumbled a few words as he began nursing his coffee. At least Barry would help prove Dan was Lumino, even if he wasn’t entirely sure. His heart screamed that the mysterious hero that Arin was pining for was another man his heart was after, but his brain had to agree with Barry’s logic. Arin had no images of Lumino without his helmet or Dan partly suited up or shooting beams out of his fingers. For all Arin knew, it was a coincidence and this sparked because Arin was looking too deep into it.

Barry was far beyond grateful that Arin seemed to give up the chase. The last thing he needed was Arin and the rest of the Grumps outing Dan or Barry accidently, or knowing at all for that matter. But his heart did go out to the older man. Arin seemed so excited to share this conspiracy that he cooked up and was now moping about Barry poking holes in it. As much as Barry had sympathy, it could go only go so far before endangering him or Dan.

As they drank their coffees in silence, Barry couldn’t help but wonder what gears were turning in Arin’s head now. Yes he looked depressed, but something was going on behind the soft eyes. All he could hope was Arin trying to figure out a way to catch Dan in an awkward situation and have him admit it, if just to get Arin off his back. And that reminded Barry to mention this to Dan when they got back to the office.

“Um, you ready to go, Arin?” Barry knitted his eyebrows, wishing for a yes. Arin gave a slow nod, standing at the same pace. Barry smiled. “Okay. Let’s go back and catch Dan red-handed.” Arin smiled back and they proceeded to leave the small café. The walk back was filled with Arin’s bizarre ideas to get Dan to admit he was Lumino and Barry let Arin chat away, willing his panic to stay hidden. When they arrived at the Grump space, Barry gave Arin a wink before heading towards the recording room.

Barry let out a loud sigh once the door was shut. Dan let his headphones drape around his neck, raising an eyebrow at the younger man. Barry locked eyes with Dan, “We’re fucked.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit. Two chapters in one day?  
> Maybe three. idk.


	3. All Jokes Aside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Barry discuss what they're going to do about Arin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter three is fucking done  
> Sorry it's shorter but the next chapter will be really special

“How badly?” The eyebrows on Dan’s face knitted together. Barry began pacing, only heightening the worry Dan felt. “How badly?” Dan pressed again, but only got a worried glance back. Dan swallowed, “Arin knows, doesn’t he?” Barry nodded and Dan’s stomach bottomed out, sinking further than he’s ever felt. “What do we do?”

Barry stopped, turning to Dan. “What do you mean, what do we do? He’s pieced you together over a key, but he hasn’t gotten to me yet. How long do you think we have before he picks up on me? I mean it took him this long to figure you, so I got a long time, too right?”

Dan stood, placing his hands on Barry’s shoulders. “Okay. First off, deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out.” Barry paced himself with Dan. “Good. Now one thing at a time. What do you mean by a key?”

Barry looked down at his hands before pulling out Arin’s spare key. “He said, I can’t remember exactly, but he said something like Lu saw the key and then you asked for a key today and that’s how you’re Lu.”

Dan smiled. “That’s a weak argument and he knows it, right?” Barry gave a small nod. “Good. Okay. Next thing. Arin thought I’m Lu over a key. He’s not going to pick up on you for a while and then he’ll also have a weak argument then. Everything is okay. We just need to take things slow and we’ll be fine.”

Barry swallowed a large gulp of air. “Okay. He also is under the impression that I’ll help out you.” Barry flinched as Dan groaned.

“Really? You had to help him out me?”

Barry waved his hands, “But I have an idea. And here it goes.” Barry began describing the plan he thought up as Arin poured out his ideas, hoping to counteract them.

Dan listened intently, watching the younger man pace around the room and gesture loudly with his hands. He waited until Barry finished, looking back at Dan expectantly. “Oh! I think they’re great ideas, but I just thought up a hilarious one.” Barry straightened himself, eager to hear Dan’s certainly ridiculous idea to stop Arin from suspecting either of them. “So what if we dressed up as ourselves for Halloween? Eh?”

Barry stared at the older man, unable to determine if he should laugh or scream. Dan continued to wiggles his eyebrows as he let out a sigh. “Dan, how in the _fuck_ is that going to be helpful?”

“Okay, so we dress in really shitty costumes, like super shitty. And we pretend to be ourselves, but obviously not like using powers or anything. And we fight anyone dressed as a bad guy.” Dan’s eyes widened slightly, the grin on his face growing the same. “We should get Matt and Ryan to dress up like villains or something and we fight them. Dude! Yes!”

Barry shook his head, trying to hide his own grin, “Dude, no.”

“C’mon, Bear. It’s hilarious!”

Barry rubbed his face. “Why can’t we just stick to my plan, huh?” Dan pouted, looking too much like a puppy for Barry. “Okay, okay. Fine. We’ll do your stupid plan, but we gotta still do mine if Arin follows through.”

Dan stuck his hand out, “Deal?” Barry grabbed it, giving a nod.

Dan watched as Barry slipped back into the main space, wondering if Arin really wanted to know that badly that he would be willing to comprise Dan’s identity for the truth. The only reason Dan and Barry knew about each other was Barry walked in on Dan on the floor, half out of his suit. It was an awkward and painful experience for the both of them, but it was a blessing in disguise nonetheless, giving each a partner that they could fully count on.

Dan shook his head, hoping with all his heart that Arin wouldn’t press too hard about it. A small rock formed in his stomach as the man in question popped his head in. Dan searched the face of the younger man, years of walking the streets letting him pick up on minute emotions. Arin was excited, clearly, the large grin not afraid to reflect that. But there was something else as well, fear, maybe. Definitely some affection, but then again when wasn’t Arin affectionate? Maybe it wasn’t fear. Maybe it was worry, faint lines around his eyebrows certainly revealed that.

“Uh, Dan, you okay?”

Dan blinked, pulling himself out of his thoughts. Arin was talking to him and had for a while. ‘What did he say? You were busy trying to figure out his emotions like a dumbass.’ Dan pulled on an apologetic grin, “Sorry, dude. I was just staring at your handsome face.” Dan saw the faintest pink dust the man’s cheeks, causing the rock to grow bigger.

“I said, are you ready to record?”

Dan stiffened under the words, wanting to just run from Arin. “Can you give me a few minute? I need to piss.” Dan didn’t wait for an answer before nearly sprinting out the small room. Once inside the safety of the locked bathroom, Dan sighed loudly. ‘Shit. Is Arin in love with me?’ Dan shook his head, ‘No, no. That’s not right. He’s just blushing from the complement. Anyone would. Right? He has been a bit more handsy lately. No, he just does that from time to time. It’s fine. Right?’ Dan searched his own eyes, reflecting back the panic he was feeling with a touch of guilt. ‘Right. You can do this, Dan. _If_ he is in love you, just let him down easy. Okay, but what’s your excuse? I’m straight. Easy. Total lie, but it’s the go-to. That’s probably what Arin thinks, too. So it’s great.’

Dan froze at the knock on the door. “Who is it?” The last person Dan could deal with at this moment was Arin, even if he did have to face in in a few minutes.

“Um, it’s Barry.”

Dan let out a sigh, his tense shoulders relaxing under the familiar voice. “Yeah? What do you want?”

Barry certainly wasn’t expecting the calm voice to come back. Distressed or panicked, yeah, but Dan sounded rather relaxed. “I was wondering if you’re okay. You kinda ran into the bathroom after Arin went in to record and I wanted to make sure it wasn’t about _that_.”

Dan turned to the door before opening it. Barry was fidgeting with his hands, looking down at the ground. “No, it’s not that, it’s something else.” Barry looked up with a sad smile. “Nothing about that, I swear. I just think,” Dan dropped his voice to a whisper, “Arin might be in love with me and that’s why he wants to know.”

Barry took a step back. “What are you going to say then?”

Dan blinked. “The truth, duh.” Barry’s eyes shot open. “No, no, no,” Dan reassured the younger. “The truth that I don’t like him that way,” Dan mumbled, rubbing his arm. “I don’t think I ever will, really. But that’s not the point of this. It was all about freaking out of realizing what was going on with him.” Dan closed his eyes, allowing a sigh to pass through his lips, “I feel so stupid for not realizing it before. Like how long has this been going on under my nose? I read people…” Dan paused. “I was going to say for a living, but I play games and sing for a living.”

Barry nodded, “So are you good? Can you record with him? Like I don’t wanna force you into an awkward spot that just got like 1000 times more awkward.”

Dan nodded after a few moments, “Yeah. I mean, if anything comes up about this or that, I can always change the subject with a story. I’ve done it before. It won’t be that hard.” A few more nods back and forth happened until Dan slipped back to the recording room.

Barry hoped that things would go smoothly, but nothing was set in stone and he made his way back to his desk, staring at the latest project he picked up. The day passed without incident, or at least nothing out of the ordinary. Arin had come stomping out of the session once, fuming, with Dan laughing like a dying seal in the background, but he relaxed as his eyes met with Barry. Barry tried to scan his face for what Arin was trying to tell him, but Dan pulled him back before he could get a clear determination of what was going on.

Before anyone knew it, it was nearly 10 at night and Barry almost felt guilty for skipping out on Dan, who was still in the session with Arin, but that would be trouble for another day. As Barry gathered the last of his belongings, Dan popped out of the room, locking eyes with the younger.

“Where you going, Bear?” Dan watched the smaller man break eye contact and continue to shove things in his pockets and bag.

Barry looked back up. Dan was in the same spot. “Uh, out. Um, home. I’m going home. I’m really tired. Gotta rest, y’know.” Dan gave a slow nod, eyes flicking back to Arin. “Do you need something from home?”

Dan opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He closed it as an idea came to him. “Nah, I don’t need anything, but can you remember to get some foam for my Lumino costume? I mean, not like now, since it’s late, but I really need some more foam and a new helmet for it.”

Barry tried to remain calm as panic started to consume him. ‘Halloween costume, you idiot.’ Barry relaxed with the thought, wondering how Arin was doing with all this.

Arin was not doing well with this at all. ‘Barry knew. He knew that whole time and didn’t say anything and now Dan’s talking up a storm about it.’

“Yeah, no problem. I need to get some new goggles for my Chiller costume. The ones I have are really beat up.” Barry gave a sly grin and a wink to the older man, calling out a good bye as he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently writing a villain into the plot so look for them soon-ish


	4. Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pair becomes a trio after Barry meets a new hero on the scene.

With all the clubs and sketchy alleys, it always seemed like someone was in danger. As a man closed the gap between him and a small young woman, Barry froze the man’s feet in ice, effectively halting his movements. The woman flicked her eyes between Barry and the other man, stuck in place. Barry called out to her as he froze the man’s hands together, “Run!” That seemed to cause her to stiffen more. Just as Barry was about to shout once more, a purple streak crossed his vision.

Next to Barry was a woman, looking not much older than himself, in a tight, but somehow flowy purple dress, black leggings, and purple boots. She also had intense glowing eyes that were also purple and a golden cross staff thing. He watched her grab the other woman by the hand and led her to safety. He let her disappear into the night, looking too much like Suzy for his liking, her braided hair flapping behind her like a tail.

Barry turned back to the man, his jaw open. “Did you just see that?” The iced man rolled his eyes, teeth chattering. “Um, I don’t think I have to tell you that you shouldn’t do those things that you were probably about to do, but I’m-”

Barry was cut off by a cry in another language and the man falling to his knees, ice breaking around his feet. Barry looked up to the culprit. The purple woman stood, breathing rather hard and staff pointed to where the man once stood, which was now at Barry. Barry held up his hands, trying to show he wasn’t going to attack and the woman straightened her staff.

She walked closer and Barry noticed, electricity around the center ring of her staff and her eyes. She gave a soft smile, sticking her hand out over the man on the ground. Barry’s eyes flicked from the outstretched hand to the owner’s face.

‘She seems nice enough, even if she totally looks like Suzy. Wait-’ Barry paused his thoughts, let his mouth work under the mask, “Suzy?”

The woman paled, the electricity dying around her eyes, leaving a simple purple glow. Her mind seemed to running at the fastest pace before she answered, “Wait, Barry?”

Barry stood up a bit taller, “I’m not this Barry you think I am. I’m Chiller.” Barry cursed himself for not getting a voice distorter like Dan had. It could have saved him from this disaster. The man at their feet groaned slightly, the pair watching him like a hawk. “I’m just gonna convince him to not do crimes before beating the shit out of him, so if you don’t mind.”

“Barry, I can’t believe you’re the Chiller. Wait until everyone at the office hears about this.” She turned to leave, but Barry grabbed her by the wrist.

“Suzy, please. You can’t.” Barry searched the purple eyes for something, but all that reflected back was his own eyes.

Suzy began working the statement through her head a few times before nodding slowly. “Okay.” She searched the ground, avoiding the pleading gaze of Barry. “Who… who else knows who you are?”

Barry wanted to tell her, adding her to the pair to make them into a trio, but he wasn’t going to out Dan with Arin hot on his heels. “No one. It’s a solo thing for me.”

Suzy nodded, noting the smile under the mask. “It’s kinda hard for me to hide it from Arin, but you can’t tell him I fight crime. He will flip.”

“Wait, what?”

Suzy rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand, “Yeah. I mean, magic is kinda really hard to hide when it’s constantly coming out of you. How does Dan not know about you?”

Barry froze. This was not something he wanted to deal with right now. Just as he came up with an answer, his comm broke the tension.

“ _Hey, you there? I need some help over in Griffith Park._ ”

Barry smiled, grateful that Dan slipped away from the office to help him out. “I gotta go. Do you wanna deal with him since you shot him?”

Suzy huffed, “I didn’t shoot him.” She watched Barry run done the alley, “And you never answered my question!” She turned back to the man on the ground, moaning as he came to. “Whatever. I’ll ask him later, but for now, I have to deal with you.”

Barry was never sure just how far his ice powers extended, but he knew for sure that he could move rather fast with it, using them like a jetpack and blowing snow flurries to propel him forward. It didn’t take him long to find Dan surrounded by a bunch of thugs with knives ready to fight. Without any sort of exchange besides meeting eyes, Barry began freezing hands and feet in ice as Dan shot the knives out of the hands of the unfrozen hands.

As the group began trying to free themselves from the icy bonds, Barry pulled Dan to the side, whispering as his eyes stayed focused on the group. “Dan.” The older let out an acknowledging hum. “I fucked up really badly.”

Dan’s eyes snapped to the shorter man. His mind raced to find out what he could have done without seeming to panicky. “ _What happened?_ ”

Barry froze a guy that had started to run. “I was outed by Suzy.”

‘First Arin, now Suzy. Who’s next? Ross? Matt? Jack?’ “ _How?_ ” This was just not his week at all. Soon everyone in the office would know and then someone would slip and then they would both be surrounded by people and fans. Or in jail. What they were doing was technically illegal.

“I was stopping some crime, like you do, and Suzy came in and saved the girl and I figured out it was Suzy. I mean, she didn’t try to cover her face at all. At least I tried. And then she figured out it was me because I don’t have a voice changer like you. I should get one.” Barry looked to the older man towering over him. He noticed a large scratch on glass. “You weren’t kidding about a new helmet.”

“ _Huh?_ ” Dan saw the scratch again, something that he had blurred out. “ _Oh. Yeah. Just some new glass. Arin did this, y’know._ ” Barry nodded, eyes turning back to the group. “ _Wait. Is Suzy a hero, too now?_ ”

Barry shrugged. He honestly didn’t know anything about Suzy or her magic. All he knew was that she had it. Barry watched as blue and red lights flickered up the trail. He took another step back, hiding behind Dan a bit, when a flash of purple dotted the trail as well. “She’s coming.”

Dan blinked at the man standing half way behind him. “ _Suzy?_ ” Barry nodded. “ _What do you wanna do? Do you think Arin has told her yet?_ ”

“I don’t know, man. I just wanna get out of here before she finds out.” With that, Barry grabbed Dan’s hand as the glow from headlights shown on the group of thugs. Barry pulled him to the top of the hill, watching the lights fade as the city came into view. It was always amazing to watch the city at night, the buzz of the lights always made Barry feel at home. “I need one of those things you got. And we should give one to Suzy, too. If she is a hero.”

Dan hummed in agreement, watching the city the same. It wasn’t like Suzy was evil or anything. Dark, sure, but not evil. As Dan opened his mouth, wanting to get them back on track, footsteps sounded behind them. They swiveled, ready to fight anyone and anything.

Suzy stopped when Lumino and Barry, no, Chiller aimed themselves at her. She threw her hands up, dropping her staff and wincing as it sounded loudly on the ground.

Barry stepped between her and Dan, trying to act like a middle man. “Don’t shoot anyone. Okay?” Dan relaxed, a grin hiding behind the tinted glass. “Cool. Okay, um, what’s your name?” Barry turned to Suzy as she brushed her staff off.

Suzy looked up, ‘Lumino is taller than I thought. He’s gotta be like 6’5 at least.’ She looked to Barry, “Who? Me?”

Barry nodded, “Uh, yeah. I mean, you know us. Lumino and Chiller. But I don’t know your name, fellow hero.”

“Right. Me, also a hero with a hero name. It’s… it’s, um, Black Mistress?” Suzy shrugged. It was the best she could think of on the spot like that. She kicked herself for not thinking up something before deciding to fight crime.

Barry shrugged too and Suzy let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “I mean, it’s better than mine, so you do you, I guess.” Barry turned to Dan, “So Lu, should we?”

Dan cocked his head. He had no clue to what Barry was referring to. ‘Should we out ourselves? Should we add her, give her a comm and a voice distorter? Should we kick her out? Should we tell her to tell Arin to knock it off?’ “ _Should we what?_ ”

Suzy blinked at the voice coming from the towering man. She took him in. Dark red armor covered in military-like plating, thick heeled boots, and a helmet to match. Everything screamed intimidation. If she didn’t know he was a good guy, she would keep far from him.

Barry let out a loud sigh, pulling Suzy back to the shorter man. “Should we let her join? I mean, she kinda looks badass with the glowing eyes and staff that looks like you could take someone’s head clean off. Can we, Lu?” Barry looked back to Dan with pleading eyes.

Dan rolled his eyes, a smile playing on his face, “ _Whatever, dude. Just stop looking at me like that._ ” Dan playfully nudged Barry away. He turned to Suzy, who looked intimidated by him. “ _Don’t worry about him. He’s just a big goofball. Welcome to the team, Black Mistress. You can just call me Lu for short._ ”

Suzy nodded, taking his hand in hers. ‘Does everyone have fingerless gloves for their outfit?’

Dan let out a laugh. “ _I don’t know. I mean, there doesn’t seem to be too many heroes here._ ”

Suzy knitted her eyebrows before realizing that she said it aloud. “Sorry. That was supposed to just be a thought. I didn’t mean to sound rude or anything.” Lu gave a soft nod, letting his hand drop out of hers. “Um, quick question before we go our separate ways, I’m assuming.” Barry nodded and Lu gave the same. “Will I get a communicator or something like you guys have?”

“Yeah, I don’t see why not.” Barry glanced at Dan, who rolled his shoulders, face turned to the city behind them. “Um. Okay. I’ll have to get some stuff, but I can get you one by the end of the week, Mistress. Is that a good nickname?”

“ _Mistress? Like Master in that kinky shit? But for a lady?_ ” Dan stifled giggles. “ _Almost as bad as A-Angel throwing rocks at me._ ”

Suzy took a step away from the pair. “Okay, so I should figure out a new name and nickname before next week. And who’s Angel?”

Barry pouted, “Aw, I kinda like Black Mistress. It’s kinda badass. But yeah. Mistress isn’t a good nickname.”

“Who’s Angel?” Suzy pressed again, gripping her staff tighter.

Barry swallowed, turning to Dan. It was Dan’s mess in the first place, even if he was dragged in as part of the problem and solution. Before Barry could get a reply, Dan ran to the edge, jumped and slid down the side, stopping on the trail and following it into the darkness. “Whelp, there he goes.” Barry turned his attention back to the mage. “Sorry about him. He does that a lot. But you said something?”

“Do you know who that is?” Suzy searched the man’s face for anything, but it remained neutral. “You don’t know? How do you know he’s not going to kill you or something?” Suzy looked down on the city, “Where’s Angel?”

Barry shrugged, “Probably at home, wondering why he threw rocks at Lu. I mean, I can understand why, but you don’t just throw rocks at people, especially not people that can kill you in an instant.”

“Barry?”

Barry hummed, his eyes drifting over the city. He wanted to tell her everything right then and there, but things would get worse and the entire office would now it by lunch the next day. “You need a new outfit.”

“Um, what’s wrong with what I’m wearing now?” Suzy gave Barry a twirl, hoping to ease the worry on his face. “See? Perfectly mobile.”

Barry shook his head, “That’s the problem. You got agility, but what is Arin gonna say when you come home with a bullet wound in the chest or arm? Can you block bullets or something?”

Suzy reached for her pocket before dropping her arm. One of her crystals was in her jeans at home. She gave an apologetic smile to Barry, “Sorry, Ba- Chiller. These are leggings, so no pockets. I do have crystals that can help concentrate the energy and make like a shield or something.” She glanced down at herself again, “So I think I’m going to stick with this. Unless you want to criticize my style.”

Barry let the moment pass before speaking once more, “Well, if you want a comm, then you need something on your face. It’s just way easier to put it in goggles or something because one wrong move and then you’re out of sync with everybody. Also, it can help hide your identity. Because, man, did I recognized you really quick.”

Suzy knitted her eyebrows, “Really? Okay. I can get some goggles, but really? Like how fast?”

“Fast enough to call you out after you ran away. And, I mean, besides helping the other girl, why did you run?”

Suzy rolled her shoulders, shifting the staff in her hands. “I guess I thought you could handle it, even though you left me to deal with him. And first off-”

Barry cut in, “Mage.”

“What?”

“Mage. That’s your name now. Or nickname. Something Mage. Not Dark Mage. That’s like way over done and kinda stupid actually.”

“Says the man who goes by Chiller.”

“I made it up in like 8th grade!”

Suzy laughed at the pouting Barry in front of her. “Okay, okay. We are spending way too much talking. We should help Lu.”

Barry rolled his eyes, starting down the trail. “It’s not like we can talk about this in the office. Not with Arin…” Barry trailed off, coughing loudly and hoping Suzy wouldn’t press.

She did. “What about Arin? What did he do?”

Things were getting harder and harder to not reveal Dan with Barry and his loud mouth. “He’s just really into conspiracy right now and I don’t want to add fuel to the fire.” He didn’t wait for Suzy to follow after as he followed Dan’s path. Out the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of purple before Suzy appeared directly in his way. He crashed into her, throwing them both to the ground. “C’mon, Mage. It’s hard for me to slow down once I get going.”

Suzy detangled herself from the mess of limbs. “Is that really my name now?”

“Nickname.”

“Okay, fine whatever.” Suzy stared at Barry as he fixed his position, but remained seated on the ground. “But what’s with Arin? You can’t just be like ‘oh, by the way, I think your husband is going crazy over conspiracy theories’. What did you mean?”

Barry sighed, staring at the ice forming around his hand. It was something he loved and it always calmed him down. On more than one occasion after a stressful day, Barry would sit in the tub and encase himself in ice until he felt like he could function normally again. “I can’t tell you. I made a promise years ago.”

“A promise for what? Not talking to me about Arin? Who you would promise that too?”

“Not that. We promised to protect each other through thick and thin. And right now, it’s pretty thick.”

Suzy pulled Barry to his feet before cupping his face, her staff sitting at her feet. “Barry. That is something you promise at a wedding. Are you married to Lu? Is that why you’re so hell-bent on not saying anything about him?”

Barry pulled his face away from hers. The glowing eyes were freaking him out more than the proposition of him being married to Dan. “Your eyes are freaking me out.”

Suzy pulled away, blinking. She felt the magic slowly drain from her face, taking the comfort with it. “Better?” Barry nodded. “Congratulations, I guess. Why didn’t you invite me to the wedding?”

Barry blinked back at her, “Wedding?”

“Yes, wedding. Yours and Lu’s. You can’t just say ‘guess who’s married’ and not expect me to be the least bit upset I didn’t know.”

“Suzy. Please, it’s nothing like that. As much as I wish, we’re just friends. Pals. Bros. Amigos. Teammates. We’re not dating. We’re not married. He’s straight, I’m not. It’s just how things are.”

Suzy gave a soft smile. Her heart went out to him, knowing that not being with the one you love absolutely sucked ass. “There’s plenty of gay fish in the sea for you, Barry. I believe in you.” She reached out, rubbing his arm. “Now let’s go kick some ass and then get home. It’s getting pretty late and I don’t want to worry Arin.”

Barry returned the gesture, then the smile grew into a grin, fire in his eyes. “I’ll race you down.”

“Oh, you are so on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said villain soon, but I really wanted to add Suzy into the mix and get her established.  
> But the villain is coming soon hopefully. I'm gonna add another hero, but I haven't decided who just yet so look for them too. (not Arin obviously)  
> [ Suzy's design ](http://sumide1711uus-art-blog.tumblr.com/post/155773428070/progression-of-suzy-in-my-hero-fic-link-to-ao3)


	5. Coming out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan decides to straighten things out with Suzy and they don't go to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 1:12 am and i'm posting this and then probably two more before the weekend's over.

It was 9:38 am and Barry was staring at the ceiling of his room. He had heard Dan stumbling around, cursing as he fell against things in his haste. It didn’t take long for one of the fall to happen against his door and he jumped slightly at the bang before a string of curses and apologies sounded through the door. When Barry gave no acknowledgement, going over what Suzy had said to him last night, the door creaked open.

Dan saw Barry’s eyes flick to him, going back to the ceiling. “Uh, hey, buddy. I know last night what stressful with Suzy there and everything. Trust me. I’ve been going over every little thing I said to her and it’s driving me crazy, but we gotta move on.” Dan moved to sit on the edge of the bed and Barry scooched over, silently letting the man proceed. “We’ll just have to face the music if she told Arin or not.”

“It’s not that.”

‘Are you serious right now?’ Dan stared at the younger, staring at the ceiling. “What is this about then, Bear?”

“Something else she said after you left. Something I don’t wanna talk about. I just wanna mope about it.” Barry watched Dan stand, leave, and come back with his fluffy comforter. “What’s that for?”

Dan threw the blanket on him before scooping him up and dropping him on the couch in the living room. “It’s only like 10. You’re going to text Arin that you’re going to be late and I’m going to ask him if it’s cool pushing the sess to noon and we’re going to watch some _House Hunters_.”

“ _House Hunters_?” Barry furrowed his brows, “Where did you find that?”

Dan laughed, “I dunno, dude. I came back from a really late sess and it was playing and it is kinda really bizarre, but I think it’s the kinda weird you need.”

Barry pulled the blanket tight around him, “I appreciate the thought and everything, but I don’t really wanna be around anyone right not. I mean, you’re being really sweet, but this is kinda something you work out alone, y’know.”

Dan gave the younger a quick hug. “Okay, but I’m still gonna put it on. Take a ‘me’ day and just let me know if there’s anything I can do.” Barry gave a nod before the singer ruffled his hair. “Good. I’m gonna leave you to mope and watch this weird ass show, but I’m going check up on my partner every so often. Can’t have you depressed fighting crime. You get hurt more than anything. I would know. Now, I’ll see you soon. Love you.”

Barry didn’t lift his head as Dan continued to stumble around, grabbing the last of his belongings and leaving with a loud slam. “I love you too.”

Suzy couldn’t stop twisting the aviator goggles in her hand. She went over her plan once more. Invite Barry to do some KKG with her, corner him into talking about designs with her, and ask if the headwear she had would work for the comms. When he didn’t appear on his porch with Dan, something twisted in her stomach. She watched the tall man fold himself into the back seat, turning to him, “Barry’s not coming with us? Or is he at the office already?”

Dan looked up from his phone, “Huh? Oh! He’s not feeling well, so he said to tell you guys that he wouldn’t make it.” He locked eyes with Suzy, wondering just how much she knew. “Did you need him for something?”

“Yeah,” Suzy looked down at her hands, the goggles twisted horribly. “But it’s nothing important. It can wait.” With that, the car lurched forward and Suzy shifted to face frontward. ‘Does he not want to see me anymore? Does he not trust me with secret identity shit? I got my own now. Mage. Purple Mage? Lavender Mage? No, darker.’ A soft laugh got caught in her throat. ‘Shade Mage. Kinda rhymes.’

“Something funny, Suz?” Arin glanced at her, pulling her from her thoughts.

“Oh? No, sorry. Just something Mimi did this morning. Don’t worry about.” ‘Gotta keep this shit quiet. And I need to tell Barry to tell Lu about my new name. And give him the goggles. Hopefully this is useful.’

The rest of the drive was quiet, Suzy hummed along to the radio while Dan and Arin chatted happily about a new game they wanted to try out. Even as they parked, Dan was glad Arin wasn’t asking him about Lu. The last thing he wanted was Suzy asking Barry questions because Lord knows it would be a huge fiasco. Maybe coming out would be better. Just have everything out in the open. He knew who she was, but she didn’t know about him. In a way, it was entirely unfair. So when Arin had gone to the bathroom, leaving the pair alone, Dan asked if he could join KKG for an episode or two.

Suzy blinked at him. “Is this because Barry isn’t here and he usually comes on?”

Dan bit his lip. “Yes, no, I mean… um, I need to talk to you about things and I think KKG would be a good cover. I hope that isn’t weird or anything. I just don’t want to talk about it in front of Arin. Which I just realized probably isn’t helping my case, huh?”

“I… oh! Okay. I mean, I can find something for us.” Suzy walked over to a wall of games, perusing the collection. “And I don’t mind. But I am a bit worried what it is if you feel like you can’t even talk about it in front of Arin.”

Dan surprised her with a hug, which she accepted. “Thanks. And don’t worry it’s nothing bad, I don’t think. You’ll just be surprised, probably.”

She gave a sly grin, “I love surprises.”

Eventually they settled on a game, told Arin the plan, and shuffled into the recording space. Dan closed the door, leaning against it and his heart pounding in his ears. ‘I should get Barry in on this too.’ Before Suzy could even start setting up, Barry had answered and was on speaker-phone. “Hey, Bear. Um, I’m here with Suz and I’m thinking of coming out. Also, you’re on speaker, so yeah.”

“Dan.” The older hummed in acknowledgement. “Take me off speaker so I can scream at you without hurting Suzy’s ears.”

“But Barry Bear, she needs to know. I know, but she doesn’t. It’s not fair to her. Please?”

Something tasted metallic in his mouth with Dan pressing on him like that. This wasn’t how you came out. You thought about it. You told your teammate about it and talked things out with them. You don’t decide in a car ride that you’re going to out yourself. “Dan, I am begging you. Don’t.”

“Listen. I already got you on speaker. I’m going to tell her whether or not you want me to. She needs to know.” Dan looked up from his phone. “Suzy, I got some big news and you probably wanna sit for it.” Suzy did as suggested, eyes flickering between the phone and its owner. “Okay, Barry. You still there?”

Nothing felt right about this. He should be there in the office to confirm what Dan was going to say whether or not he stayed on the line. “Yeah. I’m still here. One thing though.”

“Yeah, buddy. What’s up?”

“Ask for her name.” Barry hung up without a response from Dan. He silenced the phone before letting it fall to the couch. He didn’t want to pick up anymore calls from anyone for the rest of his life. He just wanted to curl into a ball and let the world pass without him.

Dan stared down at his phone. Barry had just hung up without saying goodbye and leaving a rather cryptic end. He looked up to Suzy, who furrowed her brows, “I have absolutely no clue what that means. Maybe it’ll make sense after I come out. So I’m just going to say and I don’t want you to say anything for a few moments after, okay?”

Suzy nodded. She expected this for some time, but glad she was someone Dan could trust. ‘Maybe he likes Arin and that’s why he’s being super cryptic around him. No time for hypotheticals, Dan’s going to say something.’

Dan chewed his bottom lip, hoping it would give him the strength he needed to say it and get it over and done with. “Okay. Okay, I’m good. Suzy, I’m Lumino.” She stared blankly at him, which gave him the chills. She seemed more intimating under the blank gaze than anyone ever was.

“You’re in love with him?”

Dan returned the blank stare. ‘How did she get that from what I said?’ Dan opened his mouth, “What?”

Suzy gained a soft smile, breaking the illusion. “It’s fine. I know lots of people that fawn over that mysterious intimidating look he has going on. And just between you and me, I think it’s kinda hot.”

“Suzy. Stop. That’s way too weird for me. I’m not in love with him. I am him. Well, I guess I am in love with myself, but in the way everyone else is. Am I making sense now? I am the hero Lumino. I can shoot lasers from my fingers and I run around the streets of LA beating up muggers and other would-be assailants.”

“What?” Suzy looked away, processing the information. She looked back up to Dan, “But that means Barry…” She trailed off, knowing exactly why Barry didn’t come in. “Oh no. I think I may have fucked up.”

Dan took a step back. Suzy seemed to understand who he was, but her mind jumped to Barry, wearing a rather sad look on her face. “What did you do?” He hoped it wasn’t about her telling Arin all the identities to any heroes she knew, but they seemed to tell each other everything.

“Um, I don’t know if I can tell you. It was something kinda private and he probably wouldn’t want me to air his dirty laundry, y’know.” Suzy chewed her lip, trying to decide what she would say next. ‘What can I say next?’ Suzy held up her hand, “Wait. So you knew who I was last night and you didn’t say anything? Why didn’t you say anything?!”

Dan rubbed his arm, leaning back against the door. “I never said anything to Barry about it. I mean, it isn’t exactly something you announce for the whole world. I’m certain I’ve been doing this for a lot longer than you and I know exactly what happens you tell someone you think you can trust. It’s gets thrown right back in your face and then you’re stuck picking up the pieces of a failed relationship. How did Barry react when you figured him out?”

Suzy blinked at the venom coming from the tall man. “Oh, uh, he seemed really nervous and tried to play it off. I see what you’re saying now. But it was just us. I knew who Barry was already and you had already figured me out, so why not just say anything then?”

Dan sighed. He didn’t have the energy to go through every little thing to his reasoning, but he did give the overview. “Arin is trying to convince Barry and maybe himself that I’m Lu. Can’t exactly tell people that it’s the truth. I mean, if Barry hadn’t walked in on me, then we might not have known each other. We had been living together for nearly 6 months at that point and I don’t think we suspected each other. Not that I remember. It’s been so long.”

Suzy shifted on the couch. “Oh god. What are you going to do about Arin then? I mean, he knows about my magic, but you can only hide things for so long. Is he going to find out about me? What are we going to do? Do you think he’ll be more comfortable with me fighting crime if he knew you guys were with me? I mean, I don’t want him to worry about me, but you know how he is. Should we tell him?”

The doorknob jiggled before pressing into Dan’s back. Dan moved forward, letting the intruder enter. Arin poked his head in before gaining a large grin, “You guys doing a little hanky panky without me?” The pair stared back at him, hoping to calm their panicking faces. “Oh, shit. Is something wrong? Did I interrupt something?”

Dan locked eyes with Suzy, each reading the other. Dan turned back to the younger man, “Nah, dude. Just a surprise for everyone. Gotta keep that shit quiet, y’know.” If you could call it that. Coming out would be a grand feat and something neither was expecting to do so soon.

“Aww, don’t I get to hear a bit about it? Just a teeny tiny bit?” Arin showed the heroes his best puppy dog eyes, hoping for just the hint of something amazing.

“C’mon, dude. A surprise is a surprise for a reason and I’m not going to ruin it over some puppy dog eyes, even if they are getting to me.” Dan let out a light chuckle, turning back to Suzy, “Suz, control your man.”

The group joked and chatted for several more minutes, Suzy visually relaxing at the normal conversation transpiring between the three. If something could only go right for her ever again, it would be this moment. Nothing seemed tense and the pressure to shout out her secret faded away, even with Arin inching closer to her. Soon he was next to her, arm around her shoulder.

“Hey, Suzy, can we talk for a moment? Y’know before you guys get started. Don’t wanna interrupt anything.” Arin laughed a breathy laugh, something that sounded like it should come from a balloon rather than a man. Dan gave a shrug when he noticed Suzy and Arin looking up at him expectantly. “Cool. I’ll have her back here in a jiffy.” Arin tugged Suzy back into the main space where no one else had shown up. “Where is everyone? Is it a holiday or something?”

Suzy replied with a shrug, all she could do. It wasn’t a holiday or anything particularly special. It was a normal Tuesday morning in the middle of October.

Arin waved his suspicion off, turning back to the recording room to make sure the door was indeed closed. Once satisfied, he looked down at Suzy. “Okay. I’m going to tell you something I figured out yesterday and I told Barry all about it and he’s totally down to help and it’s kinda sad that he didn’t come in, but whatcha gonna do when you’re sick, right? Anyway,” Arin dropped his voice to a whisper, “I’m trying to prove Dan is Lumino the hero.”

Suzy’s eyes widened. ‘So Dan was telling the truth.’

Arin took this response positively, his voice remaining quiet, “I know, right? It sounds crazy, but it makes a lot of sense. And like he came in yesterday with all bruise, that I thought were hickeys, but whatever. So Barry is trying to help me get dirt on Dan and I was wondering if you would help me. I mean, you’re spending how many hours with him today? So please, just please help me. I need to know.”

Suzy nodded. “If Barry is helping, then I will too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god i need to add the villain because yes, but i fucking love drama


	6. Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan tries once again to talk things out with Suzy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally another chapter after like a week and half  
> sorry this is a bunch of exposition

It didn’t take long for Dan to pick up on the distance Suzy had placed between them. Suzy ended the first episode as Dan jotted down the time for her. A sigh left her lips and Dan pounced on the otherwise silence, “What’s up?”

Suzy pulled on a smile, turning to him. She tried to act natural all episode. Did she fuck something up horribly, like her intro or outro? “Not much. Just recording stuff with you.”

“No. Why the weird distance? What happened in the minute you were gone?” Dan snorted a laugh, “Did Arin finally confess his love for me?”

Suzy said nothing, messing with the controller still in her hand. ‘How do you tell your friend your husband is on a witch hunt for them?’

Dan sobered up, adjusting himself on the couch. “Holy fuck,” he breathed out, a hand running itself through his hair. He tried to look at Suzy, see what she was feeling, but his and her hair blocked a clear line of sight. “He really does love me.” His eyes moved back to the screen, the characters doing the idle animation. “Suz, you gotta tell him.”

“What the fuck?!” Suzy couldn’t believe her ears. “How in the hell am I supposed to tell him?! I can’t exactly say who you are!”

Dan blinked at the screaming woman next to him. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“You said I had to tell him. I can’t tell him without outing myself.”

“I was talking about him loving me! How did you get that from love?”

Suzy blinked at the tall man. “What?” Dan blushed, turning his face. “Do you love him, too? Is that it?”

Dan crossed his arms. He was just embarrassed, nothing else. No romantic feeling for him. “I don’t love him like that. But I know he loves me.” Dan let his hunched shoulders fall, arms still crossed. “You gotta tell him for me. I’m too big of a pussy to.” The silence that surrounded them let him go over everything that had happened in the half an hour since they arrived. Dan lifted his head and spoke, “I have a few questions, if that’s okay?”

Suzy nodded. “I think I have a few you too. So you go first.”

“What did Barry mean by ‘ask for her name’? Do you have a new name or something I don’t know about? I mean, Barry told me you guys talked after I left, but didn’t say what it was about.”

Without giving a response or anything, Suzy stood, walked out of the room, and returned with an old pair of aviator goggles, passing them to Dan. “Um, Barry said he could work comms into some goggles and I wanted to talk outfit designs with him because this doesn’t really go with what I was wearing before. And he also decided that my nickname was Mage. Like you have Lu, I’m Mage. Shade Mage, actually. Decided that on the way here. So it’s nothing super cool like Lumino.”

Dan flipped the goggles over in his hand. They looked standard issue pilot goggles that you would be given in the Air Force. “Shade Mage,” Dan said, testing the sound of the word on his tongue. “I think I like it, actually.” Dan turned the eyewear once more, pulling on the strap. “Yeah. I think Barry could use these. I mean, he just uses an old ski ones, so this shouldn’t be any more difficult.” He glanced up at Suzy, who seemed well over relieved, beaming at the words. “You wanna ask a question?”

Suzy nodded, reaching for the goggles before dropping her hand. “Okay. How did you figure out your outfit?”

“Oh.” Dan tried to recall all he could from failed suits. “It was a lot of trial and error and coming home bruised to hell. I guess I figured if I couldn’t use my lasers to protect me, then I should try something else.”

Suzy tucked her feet under her, intrigued by all of the behind-the-scenes stuff heroes had to do to stay alive. “Okay. But what about Barry? He looks like he’s an ice skater, not a hero.”

Dan quirked an eyebrow. “How much of this hero stuff do you know?” Suzy looked down at her hands and mumbled something. “I’m gonna take that as jack shit,” he paused, letting the joke set in, and earned a chuckle from the younger. “Okay. Barry can look like a figure skater all he wants because he can literally encase himself in ice. Trust me, he can, and it is the weirdest shit to have a block of frozen Barry sitting in boxers in your tub.” That got another laugh out of Suzy. “Dude, I’m serious. He was feeling really down one day and he locked himself in the bathroom for like 2 hours and at this point I thought he might be dead, but nope. Just a Barry-sicle in our tub.”

Dan rubbed his face. “Okay. I’m getting a little side tracked. So if you can make yourself a shield or something like that, then you can dress like a figure skater all you want too. I don’t really care. Next thing you wanna learn about.”

“Other heroes. Like who else is there? Do you know them like we know each other? What kinda powers are there? Who else know who you and Barry are?”

“Calm down with the rapid fire. One thing at a time.” Suzy nodded, scooting back. Dan smiled, a silent thank you being passed. “First off, I know there’s a couple other heroes that don’t get much recognition, but I mean, most of us don’t. We are breaking the law, technically. Um, I don’t know their names, but there’s someone that’s basically… um, fuck, Falcon, I think. He’s the bird guy in the _Avengers_ movies. So someone is doing his things, but I think they throw Frisbees or something like that. Metal disks. I dunno. I met them once when I first got here, but I don’t remember anything else, besides the stuff on TV.”

“So if I wanted to know anything, I could just watch interviews with them,” Suzy deadpanned.

Dan pouted, “I know things. Just not about them.” Suzy rolled her eyes, a smile playing off the corners of her mouth. “Do you want me to continue?” Suzy smiled larger. “Okay. But since you wanna learn stuff from interviews, I’m going to the next thing, which was… um, fuck. It was powers, I think.”

“C’mon, Dan. You gotta give me a bit more about the other heroes. Like how many are there? Are there any other female heroes or am I it?”

Dan thought for a moment, biting his lip. “I think there are like 4 or 5 other heroes. At least in the LA area. There’s definitely more than that if you look up any major city. And I’m sure you’re not the only badass lady kicking crime’s ass. But I don’t know if I know any strictly from LA. I know one back in New York, but that’s on the other side of the country. Can I talk about powers now? Because I really wanna know about yours.”

“Me?” Suzy gestured to herself. “I’m not that special. I can only do magic and almost all of that was self-taught shit. You guys have the cool powers, shooting lasers and freezing people’s hands and feet together. Like you guys just have that. I know magic is cool and all, but you and Barry seem way cooler than me.”

Dan laughed softly, sounding more like a wheeze. “Oh, c’mon, Suz. You taught yourself magic! How many people can say that? Like no one. You are way cool. And energy manipulation, I think that’s what Bri called it, isn’t something unique to me. It’s what Barry and a bunch of other heroes around the world have, just different versions of it, I think.”

“Brian knows?”

“Oh, no. He was telling me about how it’s impossible for us heroes to do what we do without breaking a couple fundamental rules of physics or something. I try to understand what he says, but sometimes it all goes right over my head.”

A silence fell once more over the pair. Each letting the information from the other settle in. It didn’t take long for Dan to break it once more. “One last question.”

Suzy shifted on the couch, leaning back into the fluff. “Anything. There isn’t anything that would surprise me.”

“Does Arin actually love me?”

Suzy looked over to where she had placed the controller before running to get the pilot goggles. She picked it up, refusing to say anything. She couldn’t exactly tell Dan about either man fawning over him, or her own fleeting crush on his hero persona.

“Can you let him down easy then? I already feel horrible about breaking his heart. I don’t know if I could say it in front of him. And if he asks why I don’t get us a try, tell him that I’m straight.”

Suzy nodded, eyes fixed on the device in hand, “Even if you’re not.”

Dan narrowed his eyes. He was trying not break his best friend’s heart and his wife was giving him sass. “Suzy, please. I’m begging you. If it comes up, try to break it to him as gently as possible. Saying I’m straight is better than saying I’m in love with someone else. So please, just tell him I’m straight.”

“What’s his name?”

Dan froze slightly at the words. He wanted, expected a nod and maybe some words of agreement, not a question. “Michael.” It was the first name that wasn’t Suzy or Barry that came to his mind. Another slow nod from the woman next to him. “Can we leave this alone? I don’t really wanna talk about my love life right now.”

Suzy gestured to the TV with her controller, “So, ready to get your ass whooped?”

“You’re so on.”


	7. Love and Stitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the night of confessions for Dan Avidan

It was almost midnight before Dan got home. His eyes settled on the couch where he had left Barry 14 hours earlier, but the younger man wasn’t there. Dan poked his head into the rest of their shared house, but he wasn’t anywhere to be found. Dan went back to his room before slipping his helmet on. This was much easier than ripping the comm out and talking that way.

“ _Barry? You out there?_ ” The incoming comm was silent, minus the bit of static that always sounded through. Dan didn’t notice the pitch change in his voice as he called out again. Another minute passed and Dan removed his helmet before stripping and climbing into his suit. He pulled the helmet back on, mindful of his hair, waiting for some answer.

Dan had his second boot half on when he got answer.

“I’m fine. I just went for a walk.”

Dan sighed, releasing his held breath. “ _Where are you? I’ll meet up with you and we can-”_

“Just leave me alone.”

“ _Bear…_ ”

Barry repeated himself before a grunt and the oh-too-familiar sound of a gunshot. “I’m in Griffith Park. The guys are back and they’re pissed.”

Dan didn’t hear any other words that Barry said, his heart pounding in his ears. The darkness and sheer size of the park worried Dan. He wasn’t like Barry who could launch himself in the sky to see the area. He had to run to find Barry, his ears tuned to any noise. Another shot rang out off to his left followed by a flash of light blue. That was all he needed and soon Dan was standing in front of Barry, ready to block all the shots.

It took Barry a few moments to realize Dan was in front of him, firing lasers at everyone and forcing the weapons out of their hands. Barry lifted his arm to help freeze the weapon-free thugs, only to wince as the fabric of his sleeve moved over a deep cut.

Dan tensed under the hiss coming from behind him, fueling his rage and worry. ‘No one hurts Barry and gets away with it.’ Soon all the weapons were on the ground, but Dan didn’t let up, firing beams at the hands and arms of the thugs. The ones not frozen to the spot turned tail, leaving their fellow criminals to fend for themselves.

Dan formed a blade with his lasers, eyes glowing. He held it in his left hand, ready to strike the nearest thug, when a hand was placed between his shoulder blades. His eyes flicked to the man, searching for something. What, Dan wasn’t entirely sure himself, but he found it and let the scythe dissipate into the air along with the glow. Dan sighed, dropping his arm and watching the person in front of him quiver. He turned his head to the younger. “Let’s get you home.”

Barry let Dan lead him away from the park and back to their shared house. It was silent between them all the way to the basement that acted more like a make shift ER than an actual basement. Barry hopped up on the metal gurney that Dan had managed to steal one day. A smile pulled at his mouth as he remembered the day Dan came home to Barry trying to fix himself up after a bad knife fight with another criminal. Dan forced him out of the kitchen and into their bathroom where he cleaned up the wound before disappearing into his room and retrieving a spool of fishing wire and a needle. Barry didn’t know what to expect the first time Dan patched him up, but he had done a neat job and no one could tell what had happened the next day.

Dan cleared his throat and Barry turned his attention to the older man. “I said you have to take off your shirt or move your sleeve or something. I can’t work with it in the way. Unless you want me to cut it.”

“No, no. I can move it. Just give me a second.” Barry tugged at his gloves, peeling them off, before moving to his neck and stopping only for a moment as the fabric ripped open the wound once more. He looked up at Dan, who had somehow taken off his helmet and boots in the time Barry took to remove his gloves. Dan reflected sympathy and a touch of something else that made Barry’s stomach do flips. Barry quickly broke eye contact before fussing with his mask and goggles. Once they were off, Barry tugged at the zipper that kept his top on his body.

One more wince and Dan was behind Barry, taking the zipper out of his hands and pulling it down himself. His hand lingered a bit too much for his liking and he apologized to the editor.

“I’m perfectly capable of removing my own suit, thank you very much.” The tone was teasing, but something about it felt odd in Barry’s mouth. He silently pulled his right sleeve off, biting his lip and praying that he wouldn’t make another sound until Dan started to patch him up.

With the sleeve off Barry’s arm and the wound exposed, Dan moved back in front, holding arm out to examine. It was deep, definitely needing stiches, but nothing Dan hadn’t done before. He worked silently, flickering to the injured man occasionally. ‘If I had been home earlier, then maybe he wouldn’t have run off and gotten stabbed. It’s more of a slice than a stab, actually.’

Barry watched the master do his work, mumble to himself as he leaned forward. Dan cocked his head and poked Barry in the arm where he hadn’t put the numbing agent. Barry bit hard on his lip, causing it to bleed there as well. Barry was going to need to ask Dan where he got all these supplies. ‘It’s not exactly something you can pick up at a grocery store, right?’

Once he finished, Dan took a step back, admiring his handiwork. If gaming and singing failed, he could always try medical school. His eyes wandered over the arm, noting that beside the large gash, Barry was in wonderful shape. The arm moved with Barry shifting on the table and Dan’s eyes snapped to the editor’s face.

Barry licked his lips, eyeing Dan’s before meeting their eyes once more. ‘God, why can’t I say something? Because he’s straight you idiot. And besides, he would go for Arin over you any day. Their chemistry is amazing and you don’t stand a chance. Not now, not ever.’ The thoughts he had tucked away to fight crime came spilling back into the present, tears pricking his eyes.

“Hey, hey, now. Don’t cry. Everything is fine. We got you patched up and you can head to bed. I can stay-”

“Don’t you get it?” Dan blinked at the force behind Barry, the rage. “I’m trying to avoid you and all your sickeningly sweet shit! Just leave me alone!”

“Barry…” Dan debated whether to move forward or back. Deciding forward, Dan stepped towards the fuming man, tears already falling. He pulled the shorter man into a hug, mindful of the stitches he had just finished. Instead of shoving Dan away, Barry pulled the man closer, tears falling faster. “I’ve got you, Care Bear. Everything is fine.”

“Everything is not fine,” Barry said through the sobs, slightly being muffled by Dan’s chest. “You don’t get any of it.”

“I can, if you tell me what’s up. I mean, I want to help you with everything.” That earned another tug at the armor surrounding Dan. “We can stay like this until you’re ready to talk about it. I love you and nothing’s going to change that.” Dan placed a chaste kiss on Barry’s forehead before returning his head to its original position.

Barry balled his hands into fists, but didn’t move away from the singer. ‘This is the shit I’m talking about. You don’t get how much that breaks my heart. You never will. You’ll just keep living your life, breaking everyone’s heart. Being oblivious to all of it. That’s fine. I’m just going to drop all my feeling for you like that. From this point on, Barry Kramer is not in love with Dan Avidan.’

“Can I say something?” Barry pulled away, tucking his fists into his lap and eyes wandering Dan’s face. “I’m going to take that a yes and I’m just going to say it and I want you to wait like three seconds before you say anything, just so you understand everything, okay?”

Barry nodded, but Dan avoided looking at him, opting for the floor, ceiling, and walls. Something twisted his already nauseous stomach into knots. If Dan didn’t say anything soon, Barry was sure he was going to vomit.

‘Just say it, you pussy.’ “Barry, I love you.”

Barry started shaking, ice forming around his shoulders. “Stop saying that.”

“But-”

“You don’t understand how hopeful I get every time I hear that. I know we’re just friends and that’s all we’ll ever be, so stop saying that. Please.”

“Bear, you don’t understand.”

Barry lifted his head. Dan was tearing up, a soft smile dancing on his face. “Does that mean…?” Barry couldn’t bring himself to utter the words, but Dan nodded, cupping his face. Barry leaned into the touch like it was something they always did, not the first time. A quick kiss, a fleeting moment, was pressed on to his lips.

Dan pulled away, spitting. “Why is your lip bleeding? God, why didn’t you tell me?” Dan continued to spit, trying to remove the faint metallic taste in his mouth. “You know how gross blood is to taste? And that was from a kiss, making it at least a 1000 times worse.”

Barry snorted out a laugh, about to give a snarky reply about skittles when a knock sounded from somewhere in the house. The pair froze, waiting for something else. When nothing did, Dan tried to form the laser scythe once more, but nothing formed. With a curse from the older man, Barry watched Dan ascend the stairs before following after.

Dan shuffled to the back door before halting, signaling Barry to stay in the shadows. Barry remained behind the wall, only seeing the edge of Dan’s hair. Dan eyed the man who faced away from them, hand ready to blast the intruder. The man spun around, looking down at his phone. He glanced up, ready to bring his fist down on the glass once more, but stopped at the sight of Dan.

“Dan?”

“Arin?” ‘Fuck. Why is he here? Why does he have to show up at the worst times possible?’ Dan leaned back to check on Barry, but he had vanished somewhere. ‘Oh, thank god. At least only one of us is getting outed tonight.’

“Holy fuck, dude! You’re Lumino! Oh man I was right on the money! Man when Barry hears this he is going-”

“He knows.”

 Arin blinked. “What do you mean he know?”

“Barry knows I’m Lumino. A couple people do. And now you’re one of them.” Dan rubbed his arm. ‘It’s the night of confessions, isn’t it?’ “But you can’t tell anyone ever. Like I could die or end up in jail levels of bad if you ever told anyone.”

Arin pressed on the glass, “Who else knows? Does everyone at the office know? Am I literally the last to know?”

“No, nothing like that. Only you, Barry, and Suz-” Dan stopped, but knew it was too late. He had said Suzy and Arin knew it.

“Why does Suzy know, but not me?” Dan took a step back into the house. “I’m your best friend and you tell Suzy first? Why would you do that?”

Dan shuffled further into the space, “Because you had a witch hunt for me, that’s why.”

“It wasn’t a witch hunt! I just wanted to know! I mean, how can you keep something this huge from me?! We’ve been friends for years and only now do you tell me?!”

In a flash, Dan opened the door, tugging the younger man inside and closing after. “Can you stop shouting? Barry’s…” Dan trailed off, not knowing what excuse he would use for Barry. ‘I can’t say that he’s in the basement, probably wrapping the sutures up.’

Arin let the anger fade slightly, changing his focus to the editor. “Where’s Barry? What does he think about you being Lumino?”

As if on cue, Barry shuffled into the room, hand in hair and long pajamas on, covering Dan’s handiwork. Dan gave a soft smile. “Hey, Bear. Sorry if we woke you. I just… Arin knows now.” Barry lifted his head, eyes blinking slowly as if processing what Dan was telling him. “Let’s get you back to bed, huh?” Dan placed a hand on Barry’s arm to lead him out, only to have Barry wince under the pressure. “Shit. I didn’t… Is it okay? Should I check?”

Barry tugged up the sleeve, careful of the bandage, ignoring the whispers from Arin. The bandage was almost entirely saturated with blood. “Oh.” Barry looked up Dan, swaying lightly. “That’s not good, is it?”

Arin’s voice finally cut in Dan’s mind, “What the fuck? Why is Barry bleeding? What happened?” Arin shoved Dan aside, grabbing Barry’s other arm and leading him to the front door. “We need to take you to the hospital like, right now. What the fuck happened to you?”

As Arin swung the front door open, Barry dug his heels in. Arin gave the healthy arm another tug before Barry pulled out of the grasp. “I’m fine. I don’t need a hospital.” Barry reached to place a hand on his right upper arm before stopping. “I just… Dan…”

The oldest strode over, massaging the shorter man’s back. “It’s okay. Let’s get it closed up. I’m sorry about ripping it open. Hopefully, I won’t have to redo all of it.” Dan looked up at Arin, “Sorry, Ar, but you need to leave now.”

Arin stood in the entranceway, eyes following the pair disappear into the house. It wasn’t until a hiss came out of Barry that Arin’s feet followed their trail. He stood at the top of the basement stairs, taking in the lower floor. As he descended the stairs, Arin tried to observe everything that was there. Some of the basement was filled with old boxes while the rest looked like a surgical room. “What the fuck?” It came out a wonder-filled whisper, but it startled Dan nonetheless, causing him to pull tightly on the string.

“Fuck!” Barry shouted, cupping the wound.

Dan swatted Barry’s hand away. “Sorry. And don’t touch it! I’m going to have to clean it again.” Dan let his arm go limp slightly, turning to Arin. “Arin, I told you to leave. You need to go home.” Dan pointed to the stairs, “Now!”

“Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on here!”

“Fine, but stay upstairs. I don’t want to hurt Bear anymore tonight.”

“You cut him?”

“Upstairs! Now!” At that, Arin turned tail and ran up the stairs, tripping and catching himself more than once. Dan turned back to Barry. “I’m really sorry about fucking up the stiches the first time. I promise I’ll do better this time. And I’ll make sure to wrap it properly so it doesn’t bleed through during the night.” Dan set back to work. “I’ll change it in the morning and you can’t shower for a few days. If you wanna change the bandage throughout the day, I can give you some cream and gauze and show you how to do it.”

Barry snorted a laugh, “Thanks, Dr. Dan. But this isn’t the first time, or even first five. I know what to do.”

Dan huffed, “Okay, Mr. I-get-stabbed-a-bunch. You can finish this, right?” Dan held the needle out to Barry, who adamantly shook his head. “Good, now stay quiet and let me finish.”


	8. Another Late Night Outing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i missed last week's update. i had a bunch of projects and test i had to do before spring break, but now i got a week off so i can maybe get my next few chapters done. here's to hoping.
> 
> but to make up missin, here's two kinda rushed chapters.

Dan watched Barry head towards his room before focusing back on the man in their living room. Arin was sitting patiently on the sofa, shoes off and feet propped up on the other end. Dan stood in front of the younger, waiting for him to start the conversation.

“So, are you going to tell me why Barry was stabbed and you’re playing doctor?” Arin fixed his position to let Dan sit next to him, but the older man remained standing. “Also, what did you mean ‘hurt Barry again tonight’? Like, did you stab him? Are you actually a villain that makes the public think he’s good?”

Dan waited a few moments after Arin finished to begin speaking. “Barry was mugged, or about to be. I stepped in and saved him. That’s why he’s hurt. I’m playing doctor because when you’re like me and get stabbed and shot enough times, you learn how to patch yourself up.”

“How many times?”

“How many times what?”

“How many times have you been shot and stabbed? Like first I find out you’re a hero. Then you’re sewing up Barry in your basement that looks like a room in a hospital rather than a basement. And now I find out you’ve been shot and stabbed multiple times. This is absolutely nuts. That’s it. This is a dream. I’m going to wake up in the office with you laughing over me.” Arin slapped himself across the face hard and Dan winced at the sound. “This is a dream.” _Smack_. “This is just a dream.”

As Arin reared himself up for another smack, Dan held his wrist, “This isn’t a dream, Ar.” Arin searched the older man’s face. Dan remained stoic, hoping none of his concern for Arin’s sanity came through. In an instant, Arin had pressed his lips to Dan’s. After his body gave in for a moment, Dan reeled away when his brain caught up. “Arin, please.”

Arin turned his head away. “So it isn’t a dream after all.”

“Arin. I’m… I’m sorry,” Dan said. All he could say.

Arin nodded, biting his lip and hoping what he was feeling wouldn’t pour from his eyes.  “I’ll…” Arin cleared his throat to prevent any cracking. “I’ll just go then. Don’t want to make you any more uncomfortable.” Arin didn’t allow Dan to say anything, slipping his shoes back on. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m sorry, Dan.” Arin swallowed, hand on the front door knob, “If you still want to be friends, talk to me tomorrow.”

Arin tugged at the hem of his shirt as he sat in his car, wondering where he would go. “Home.” Arin started the car, giving the house once last glance before pulling away. If anyone would let him complain about Dan breaking his heart, it would be Suzy. She had seen the best and worst of Arin’s other relationships and had stayed through the thick of it. The only sounds on the way to his house were his engine, the engines of passing cars, and Arin’s slowly accelerating breath.

By the time Arin got home, he felt like he was going into a full panic attack. After fumbling to get inside, Arin sat on the couch, pulling his legs up next to him. Using his phone’s voice control, he dialed Suzy. The phone buzzed somewhere in the distance. Arin hung up, trying again. Another failed attempt, a faster hear rate. ‘One last time.’

Instead of picking up, Arin heard someone slip into the house. Something large and metallic hit the front door before Suzy winced and cursed under her breath. The first thing Arin noticed as she passed was the intense glow she had, something she only had when she was busy practicing in their basement, or half of the basement that had been walled off. The next was the object that must have been what hit the door. Arin had never in all the time he knew Suzy seen something even remotely looking like that. It was gold, about the size of the mage, with two concentric circles around the cross’s intersection. In other words, it was clearly a staff. “Suzy?”

Suzy froze, ‘Shit. Is Arin still awake?’ Suzy turned to the living room, tucking away her magic as fast as possible. “Hey, honey. You up?” Arin opened his mouth to say something, his eyebrows knitting together. Suzy caught the tears forming in his eyes, leaning her staff against the nearest wall and sitting down next to him. She threw her arms around, “Oh, Arin, babe, what’s wrong?”

Arin swallowed, trying hold the tears back. “I… I kissed Dan and… and… he…” The sobs started, shaking his body along with Suzy’s. “I’m… ’m sorry. This is stupid. I’m… stupid.”

Suzy gave him a forehead kiss, “You’re not stupid for falling in love. And there’s nothing you can to stop it. I may not be the one that’s hurting, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get it. Rejection is hard, no matter where it comes from. Now.” She cupped Arin’s face, forcing him to look up at her. “We are going to watch a silly movie and fall asleep on the couch because that’s what you need right now. Okay?” Arin nodded in her hands. “Good. Now I’m going to get out of this dress and put on pjs and we’re going to have a good time.”

Arin grabbed Suzy’s wrist as she passed, wiping his face with the other hand. “Why… why are you wearing that? I… Never mind. We’ll talk when you get back here.” He let her disappear down the hall, taking her staff with her. Looking down at his hands that had twisted together, Arin whispered to himself, “Is she a hero, too? Is that why Dan knows? Is Barry a hero too then?”

Suzy kicked herself all the way upstairs. There were a few things Suzy enjoyed by herself, magic and heroing. And it seemed like she had just opened that can of worms to Arin. ‘What am I going to say about this? Arin’s gonna ask way too many questions about it if I don’t have a good excuse. Which I don’t.’ She let the staff fall on the bed as she stripped, fusing with the long sleeves that looped around her middle fingers. ‘I am never wearing this ever again. Not unless I cut the sleeve loop things. They are too fucking annoying to deal with every fucking night. Maybe I’ll do jeans and a shirt. At least that way I can have my crystals on me.’

“Holy shit.” Arin had finally pieced everything together. “There is no way, but it makes so much more sense. But since I know, do I have to be a hero, too now? Is that the rule or is it that if I’m a hero, I get to know?” Arin paused, hearing the stairs to the basement creak under pressure. “Why didn’t Suzy say anything before?”

When Suzy came back up the stairs, Arin stood in the hall, leaning against a wall and blocking the light from the living room. “Geez, babe, you nearly gave me a heart attack, looking super evil in the dark like that.”

Arin grabbed her hand, “You need to tell me everything.”

“Everything?” Suzy swallowed. ‘How far does everything go? As far as Dan is in love with some guy I don’t know, while we’re over here knowing we can’t have him? As far as I know who Lumino and Chiller are and I’m a part of their team?’

“Please,” Arin pleaded. “I hate being the dark like this. We tell each other everything and now we’re keeping secrets? Please. I just want to know I’m not going crazy.”

The look he gave her left a foul taste in Suzy’s mouth. “Let’s sit then, huh?” She guided him back to the couch, seating them to face each other. “Okay. Where do you want me to start?”

“Why do you know Lumino is Dan?”

‘Hero route it is.’  Suzy swallowed. “Well, you see, Dan kinda told my today, or yesterday now I guess. He was really cryptic about it beforehand, like I thought he was going to come out about something else, but no he’s like ‘Oh by the way, I’m Lu’. It just kinda came out of nowhere for me. I don’t know why he told me, but he did.”

“Wait, hold up. ‘Come out about something else’? What do you mean? He’s straight. 100 percent infallibly straight. What else could he come out as?”

Suzy rubbed circles into the back of Arin’s hands, soothing the rage and heartache that was boiling under the surface, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. How about we talk about this in the morning when you’re a bit calmer, yeah?”

“Fine. I’ll ask about something else. Like why you came home in a dress and holding a staff. What, are you a hero too? Are you flying around on your staff and casting spells on people and making them fall in love with someone they can’t have?!”

Suzy cupped Arin’s face. “You need to calm down. I know you’re hurt, I do. But getting mad over it won’t help anyone. Not now, not ever. So do you want to sit in a bath and calm down or watch a movie? Those are your options.”

Arin huffed, pulling a blanket over himself. A breathy laugh left his wife as she fussed with the TV and started a random comedy they both enjoyed. As the movie ran, Arin felt the rage for being caught with his pants down slide off with each laugh. His heart still ached for Dan’s companionship, but his brain was slowly accepting the reality of the situation.

As the movie finished, Arin felt himself slipping into sleep, uncomplicated peaceful sleep. Suzy snuggled into him before a call snapped all of their eyes open. Suzy freed herself from the blanket, Arin shivering at the sudden lack of heat. He watched her answer, flipping her hair to place the phone at her ear. The conversation must have taken a bad turn as Suzy’s face contorted into a deep frown before she sighed and hung up.

“That was Dan. He wants me to help stop a bank robbery.”

“So you are a hero.” Arin nodded, “Well, good for you. Using your magic for good. Just stay safe, alright? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Suzy leaned down, placing a quick kiss on his lips, “I got my magic to help me.” She ran up the stairs, trying to figure out what she would actually wear. A quick glance in the closet revealed only a handful of long-sleeved shirts. Suzy grabbed the darkest one before a pair of jeans and fingerless cycling gloves Vernon had lent her months ago. “I should get my own,” she muttered as hastily dressed, nearly ripping the small knee hole larger. After Suzy was satisfied with the outfit, she fussed to braid her hair to keep it out of her face, stomping down to the basement.

Scanning her witching/taxidermy room, Suzy grabbed a handful of her small crystals and her staff. She enjoyed the familiar weight of the object in hand and admired the shine for a moment before shoving the crystals in her front pocket and swinging the staff on her shoulder. She stopped in the living room to kiss the sleeping bear of a husband, tucking him in, before sprinting off to help Lumino.


	9. Money And Lies

When Ryan had said they needed to go to the bank, this was not what Matt had in mind. It was pushing 3 in the morning and they were in a beat-up catering van Ryan had gotten hold of, sitting outside a bank. Matt turned to look back at Ryan typing away on a computer, yawning. “Dude, why am I here again?” Looking up for a second, Ryan shrugged, going back to the important typing at hand. “What are you looking at?”

“Alarm system. The silent was just tripped, meaning he should-”

Whatever Ryan was going to say next was cut off by an explosion that shook the vehicle. Matt turned his attention to the bank, which had screaming alarms and flames licking the outside. “What the fuck was that?!”

“That would be the boss man.” Ryan closed the laptop, sliding into the passenger seat. “And there he is.”

A man walked out, the fire forming a bubble around him. Two decently sized duffle bags were held in each of his hands as he took his sweet time walking down the steps. Matt had never seen the person that made Ryan jump out of bed at annoying hours of the night until now. He had the typical villain look; dark clothes, billowing cape, the whole lot.

Matt fumbled to start the van as the back doors flew open. Glancing back at the man, Matt paused for a moment. “Wait, Brian?”

The man looked up, flickering between Matt and Ryan. “Ryan, where’s Tim?” It was more of a command than a question, a deep growl accompanying it.

Ryan rolled his shoulders, “He got arrested for some weed or meth or something. And I thought Matt would be fine. It’s not like he can tell anyone.”

“Brian, why are you robbing banks?!”

Brian slammed the doors shut, “Just shut up and drive. The cops will be here soon.” When the car didn’t move an inch, Brian squeezed Matt’s shoulder, edging him forward a bit. “I said, drive.” Matt slammed on the accelerator, lunching the car forward. “Now stay at the speed limit and take this left.”

Matt followed the orders, the hand sliding off after ten minutes of directions. “Are you going to tell me why I’m helping you rob a bank now?”

A low chuckle came from the back. “Of course not. I’m not your typical villain that gives 20 minute monologues about all my evil schemes and what I’m going to do to keep your mouth shut. I will say this though. If you talk, I’ll kill you, no hesitation.”

Matt glanced at Ryan, who was happily humming along to the radio. This wasn’t what he thought a bank visit was going to be like.

 

When Dan got to the bank, the fire and police departments were trying to close off the area and battle the dying flames. Barry certainly would have help, but he was asleep, recovering. Before anyone could notice the hero, he had begun climbing the fire escape on the building opposite the charred bank. If he couldn’t examine the inside, then the outside would have to do. From this angle, all Dan could see was the blackened exterior and maybe skid marks from a getaway vehicle.

Suzy thanked whatever god there was when she spotted Dan on top of a building rather than mingling in the crowd of onlookers. Dropping next to him, she looked over the bank that was robbed. “What even happened?”

_“The police got an alert about a silent alarm before they said something about an explosion. I knew we wouldn’t see them, but an explosion to cover their tracks seems a bit excessive, do ya think?”_

Stepping on the ledge, Suzy looked at the scene before them. The fire seemed to have finally died, leaving the originally off-white marble building covered in soot and with all the windows blown out. Glass sparkled in the moonlight on the steps and yellow police tape marked the perimeter of crime scene, or what they claimed as it, blocking off the building and much of the block. News vans were already approaching and a small crowd were screaming things at the police.

Off to her right, Suzy saw an old van slow to stop, as if watching the scene. She nudged the older man next to her, “Hey, Lu, I think the van’s suspicious.”

Waving his hand, Dan gave the van only a second’s glance. _“They’re probably just wondering what’s with the flashing lights. Don’t worry.”_

“I’m gonna check it out anyway.”

“ _Mage…_ ” Dan tried to call out to her, but she was already flying over to it. That’s when it sped away, missing a news truck by a hair.

 

“You idiot!” Brian shouted from the back, gripping the seat in front of him while his knuckles turned white. “Why couldn’t you drive like a normal person for once?!”

Matt adjusted his grip on the steering wheel, “I’m sorry I’m freaking out about a glowing purple person flying towards us!”

“Well, turn off the lights and head into this alley right here!” Ryan reached over and turned off the lights as Matt pulled into the small side road. “Good. Now we’re gonna sit here for a few minutes and then we can go home, okay?”

Matt nodded, feeling his throat close up.

Ryan raised an eyebrow, “What? You can’t tell me you haven’t avoid the cops before. I know for a fact you have. It’s the same, except these cops have superpowers.”

Leaning back, Brian pulled up his phone. “Ryan, do you know who that was?”

“Uh, no. They looked new to me. I think I would have remember a flying purple person.”

“Were they wearing a dress?”

Ryan moved in his seat to look at his boss, who was scrolling through his phone. “What the fuck? No?”

Humming, Brian flipped his phone to the younger man. “Was the glow this color?” Ryan nodded. “Well, apparently she’s new. She saved a woman from being assaulted a few nights ago. At least according to the woman. She should have a gold staff or something. She knows Chiller, or at least knows who he is. Again according to the woman. She doesn’t have a name. Or none that was given.”

“Are you seriously going to fight heroes, Brian?” Matt managed out.

Brian looked up from his phone. “Of course not. Not unless they attack first because then it’s self-defense. I may have robbed a bank, but I’m not going to hurt or kill anyone.”

“Why did you rob the bank?”

“Matt. Will you shut the fuck up for more than few minutes at a time? At least Tim would shut up.”

“Well, I’m not Tim. I didn’t even agree to be an accomplice to a robbery! Ryan dragged me out here saying that I would get a couple grand for driving around for like 20 minutes. That’s why I’m here! I just wanted easy money not get involved with a robbery!”

Brian focused on Ryan, who was sheepishly rubbing his neck, “You promised him what?”

“It was that or have me try to do this solo! I figured he would get out of bed for 2 grand and that way I could focus on the alarms. Not that it mattered since you blew up the bank anyway!”

Brian rubbed his face, exhaustion wearing heavily on him. He just wanted to get back home to his wife and sleep for next three weeks. His latest project was costing more and more than he thought and had started to take out of their savings just to keep focused. He couldn’t keep taking from the account, not with his daughter growing up so quickly and costing more and more each month. No, he was almost done with the project and this was going to be the last time in a very long time that he would need to rob a bank. “2 thousand dollars isn’t that much. You each get that, but not until I deal with the dye packs.”

“I want more!”

Narrowing his eyes on the youngest, Brian felt like his brain was going to explode from dealing with all Matt’s stupidity. “Will 5 grand make both of you shut up about this?” He didn’t want to give any more than he had to, but was willing to give up 20 thousand, or a tenth of his estimated haul. The pair looked at each other before nodding at Brian. “Fine. I’ll set aside 10 grand for you. Now let’s get out of here.”

 

Suzy thought she was fast, but she had lost sight of the van and now it could be anywhere in the city. Well, not anywhere, but she had no clue where to look first. Diving up and down the main streets turned up nothing and eventually she found her way back to Dan, who was on different rooftop. She dropped her staff next to her, falling back on her butt. “Fuck. I need something to hold it. Like a strap or something.” She glanced up at the other hero, “Do you think Barry can make me one?”

Dan turned his head to the woman on the floor by his feet, _“What? Oh. Yeah. He’s really amazing at sewing. Like really great. I don’t know where he learned that. Maybe he learned it like me with stitches.”_

“You can stitch people up?”

It sounded more like a statement than a question, but Dan nodded anyway. “ _Yeah. Before I got this stuff, I came home all the time covered in bruises and the occasional stab or gunshot wound. If it ever got really bad, I would come home, pull on a shirt that was already destroyed, and go to the hospital. I think I went a total of six times while I still lived in New York. I haven’t been to hospital here in LA yet, so here’s to hoping.”_

“So, um, Arin knows.”

Blinking, Dan didn’t expect that change of topic. _“Yeah._ ” Dan turned his eyes to the city, “ _and he kissed me. And I feel horrible that I didn’t say anything after I pulled away._ ” He tugged on his fingers, “ _I guess he mentioned that then too, huh?”_

“Oh, yeah. He was really upset, but, um…”

“ _Suz, what happened?”_

Biting her lip, Suzy just wanted to scream incoherent words until all the fuzz in her head disappeared. Instead, she said, “He may have learned that I do this hero thing and he was actually really okay about. I mean, I expected more of a reaction. I think it was more that the exhaustion mellowed him out.”

Dan hummed in agreement, unable to find any word that would add anything. Then he remembered why she had disappeared in the first place, _“So they were just curious about the police and everything, huh?”_

Suzy had been adjusting her glove, putting it tight. “Oh. No, I lost track of it. But something felt off about it. I don’t know how to explain it. I… I think there was a hero in it.” She caught the glint off Dan’s helmet, turning to him. “I’m serious, Dan, er, Lu. It was the same thing with you and Barry after I got this magic under control, which was only a few months ago.”

 _“You have suspected we were heroes for months and said nothing?”_ Dan turned his head away, “ _Maybe I should trust you more.”_

“You don’t trust me?”

“ _Only as far as I can throw you.”_

“Wow, rude.” Suzy forced out a laugh, going back to her previous topic. “But I didn’t know what made you guys different than the rest of the Grumps. Like you both had a weird energy around you guys and someone in that van had the same energy. I don’t know if they’re actually a hero or they’re keeping their powers quiet. I mean, I know…”

_“Know what?”_

Suzy stood, grabbing both Dan’s hands in hers. “You can’t tell anyone about this like at all. Because I might lose my head over it.” Dan nodded. “Okay, um, I think Holly may have powers too. She’s got the same energy and everything, but I don’t know what it would be. Can she talk to animals? I mean, maybe that’s what makes her so amazing at taking care of them. I don’t know. Oh, shit. Sorry. I shouldn’t be theorizing when I don’t know for sure, huh?”

A low laugh passed through the distorter. “ _You’re fine. I mean, if she does, and the way you say it makes me think that it’s true, I wouldn’t mind taking a couple of minutes to talk about it. I mean, it’s not like the bank’s going anywhere any time soon. Speaking of time, it’s getting pretty early and I promised Brian that we could work on some shit early tomorrow, or today. So I’ll see you later.”_

“Yeah, see you. Oh, wait. One thing.” Suzy took a few steps back, “Do you think this would be a good outfit for fighting crime?”

It was jeans, a shirt and gloves. “ _All you need is a mask or a helmet and you’ll fit right in with us.”_

 

It was almost 4 in the morning when they got to Brian’s hideaway. ‘Would that be the word?’ Matt thought as he slowed to a stop at the garage to the house in front of him. ‘Hideout. There we go.’ Before he had a chance to put it park, Brian had already kicked the back doors open, grabbing both bags once more and stepping up the front door. Matt glanced at Ryan, who had fallen asleep at some point and was blissfully snoring.

Brian returned a few moments later, slamming the back doors to the van before knocking on the driver’s side window. Once Matt had rolled the window, Brian pointed the garage door, “Pull in. We’re gonna take a different car back. And wake that bum up.”

Matt nodded, shaking the man next to him awake. Ryan mumbled a few things, Matt talking over him, “Wake up, sleepyhead. We’re taking a different car apparently.”

Ryan yawned and stretched in his seat. He said nothing as he got out of the van, following Brian into the other vehicle. It was another shitty beat up car. “Brian, if you just got a shit ton of money lying around, why don’t you get some nicer cars?”

“Would you recognize and point out to other people a new fancy sports car or an old barely functions hunk of metal?” Brian raised an eyebrow at the silence coming from the younger man. “Exactly. Shitty things are less likely to be talked about. And things far from the road. Like the house. Looks like it could be a ranch house that didn’t fare well here and now it’s just a shitty poor person’s house.”

Matt piped up, “Is that why you robbed the bank? You’re broke?” The glare Brian shot Matt’s way left shivers running down his spine. “Here’s your keys, you creepy bastard.”

Brian flashed a grin, catching the tossed van keys and climbing into the car finally. He listened to the younger pair spat on about shotgun before Ryan folded himself into the backseat. “And I’m not broke. I’m perfectly well off. This project is costing more than I thought. Now, stop asking questions or I’ll-” Brian stopped himself. “Well, what I would do would kill you rather quickly, if a bit unpleasant. Let’s get home and you can fall asleep knowing I can kill you as quickly or as slowly as I want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brian's the villain, but he's gonna have a "redemption" arc later, don't worry. (he's my fave after all)


	10. Friends and Enemies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's late a few days. super depressed this weekend and forgot

Dan sighed, leaning back into the couch he was currently claiming as his own desk. A week had passed since Arin found out. Well, since him and Suzy had and he learned about Holly. But he wasn’t worried about them. Right now, he was watching the news playing on his laptop. Another bank had been robbed early again that morning. 2 in one week wasn’t necessarily unheard of, especially not in a big city like LA, but the odd part was that both buildings had been hit by a bomb with no fragments to be found.

Dan let the reporter talk his ear off, trying to focus on the parts about the bomb rather than the amount stolen. Something like 150 thousand dollars had been taken, like the last time, all in small bills. The older building had been hit at 5 in the morning, 2 hours later than the first one. And the police found skid marks again, from a different vehicle, an older model. Nothing yet about the bombs. That’s all Dan wanted to hear about.

“I have been informed that this may have been the doing a supervillain going by the name Doctor Void. He seems to have left a calling card, similar to the previous robbery. Here is a picture of that, if we can.” An image of a scorched wall with a V in the middle of a circle shined in Dan’s face. “He has apparently been spot at other secured facilities such-”

Arin shook Dan out whatever he was watching. Dan paused the video, turning to the younger man. “Arin, please. I’m trying to watch the news. It’s kinda important to me.”

“Your job should be important too. It’s almost 6. You said five minutes an hour ago.”

Dan checked the time. It was 7 minutes until 6. “Sorry, Ar. I just… Someone robbed another bank and apparently it’s a supervillain that showed up not too long ago either.” Dan dropped his voice to a whisper, “And honestly, I don’t know how to deal with it. I mean, muggers, thugs, I can do that, but a supervillain? I’ve only seen it in movies and comics and shit like that. I don’t know what to do about.”

Closing the laptop and putting it aside, Arin tugged Dan to his feet. “Okay. Well, you can always talk to Suz and Barry about it. But do that later. You’ve been really stressed about the first one, so we’re going to play some games and you can laugh at me failing a shit ton of times on an easy game and just relax for an hour or so.”

“But, Arin…”

“No buts. The world isn’t going to collapse during the sess.” Arin gave Dan’s hand a quick squeeze, “Now are you going to watch me fail, or should I get someone else?” When Dan didn’t protest, Arin smiled, “Good. Now let’s go.”

The hour turned into 3 and a half, and Arin was right about one thing. The world hadn’t fallen into chaos and destruction in the time, but it didn’t ease Dan’s stomach. Something, maybe instincts, told him to keep his guard up, that some evil was looming just outside the office. When he left for the night, Dan spotted the van, or at least a copy, which Suzy had pointed out a week ago, the one that sped away when she approached.

Dan looked around the lot before jogging over to the vehicle. Rapping a knock on the passenger side window caused someone in the back to let out a string of curses before moving to the front. Dan locked eyes with Matt, completely taken aback by the younger man.

‘Shit! What is he doing here!?’ Matt cranked the window down enough to let sound pass easily. “Hey, Dan. What’s up?” Matt ran a hand through his hair, trying not to panic. He had managed to quiet about last week for, well, a week, but this morning was wearing heavily on him. When Dan continued to stare, Matt waved his hand, “You okay there? Looks like you’ve seen a ghost.”

‘This isn’t happening. Matt couldn’t have robbed the bank. That is absolutely impossible. He’s a stick. So are you, you idiot. Is Matt really Doctor Void? Shit, has he been talking this entire time?’ Dan shook the thoughts out, “Sorry, dude. I was focused on something else. What did you say?”

“You okay? I mean, it looks like you saw a ghost or some shit.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just thought I saw this van in a dream and now it’s sitting out here in the parking lot. It’s just a bit unnerving, y’know.”

‘Was Dan in the crowd? Did he see us? Fuck. What is Brian going to say about this?’ “Yeah. I get it. Ryan thought we should get a van in case we gotta move a lot of shit and got it cheap, so I’m not gonna complain.”

“Yeah. Okay. Good night.” Dan waved as he made way to his own car. This was definitely on his list to talk to Suzy and Barry about when he got home, the basement acting like a headquarters for the trio. Even as he pulled away from the office, Dan kept an eye on the van, wondering if that was the cause of the foreboding feeling that hadn’t left his stomach.

 

Matt climbed back to the laptop that he had tossed onto the floor of the van. He let the news reel play as he waited for Ryan to show up. Then they could pick up their share of the haul and go home and not worry about Brian and his stupid project that required more and more money each week apparently.

The news reporter organized the papers in front of her as she started on the story about their adventure that morning. “Hi, I’m Cassidy Porter and the story tonight is on the second bank robbery of a supervillain by the name of Doctor Void.” Matt snorted out a laugh, ‘Doctor Void? Really?’ “-occurred at approximately 5:02 this morning and is estimated to have cost the bank 162 thousand dollars, all of it taken in smaller bills. The bank and government are asking for anyone trying to exchange a large amount of small bills to contact the police immediately. This heist is the second bank robbery in a string of other thefts by the same man… I am just getting word that a third bank has just been hit, showing similar signs to the first two.”

Ryan threw open the driver’s side door, starting the car as he slammed the door shut. “Sit in the front. Brian is gonna need a way back and I don’t want you to fall against the back. Trust me,” Ryan shifted into drive as Matt took his spot, “It hurts like a bitch.”

 

Dan slammed a fist against the steering wheel as he slowed to a crawl. He would get home faster by walking than being stuck in his traffic. Changing to a news station, Dan hoped they would have some insight to the cause.

“- police have started to shoot the perpetrator, assumed to be Doctor Void. The bullets seem to be slamming into a force field around the man.”

Dan fumbled for his phone, shutting off the radio. Hopefully, Suzy was already with Barry and he could talk to both of them.

Barry picked up after the third ring, “ _Hey, hon. We were just wondering where you-_ ”

“Put me on speaker.”

“ _Okay. Done. What’s wrong?”_

“Have you been listening to the news?”

“ _No, we-_ ”

“Doctor Void hit another bank. I don’t know where, but the police are already there and shooting and they aren’t affecting him. I’m stuck in traffic and won’t be home anytime soon. I need you guys to deal with him. I’ll join you when I can.”

 

Brian promised himself a week ago that that bank would be the last for at least a month, but here he was, holding two more duffle bags and walking towards a police barricade. This wasn’t how he wanted to spend the night before Halloween. He wanted to be home, helping his wife with their daughter’s costume, not robbing a bank because he had fucked up and exploded a dye pack over his last haul.

It was Dan’s fault, if Brian wanted to get to the nitty gritty. Dan had called him, shaking his concentration. Dye packs were finicky sons of a bitch and Brian had finally been able to remove them in under a minute. When his phone had rung, the pack was almost completely out, but he had squeezed his hand and the dye splattered over all the money, save for a few hundred dollars at the bottom of the stacks.

Someone shouted his name, or at least the name he chose for this persona. Brian lifted his head. It was the same purple person Matt had freaked out about. She was shouting things at him, but her speech was slightly slurred and too deep to coming from the small woman. Brian tilted his head as Chiller started shouting things as well. ‘God, this mask is annoying. But hiding is better than being a megalomaniac. What would everyone say if they knew their precious Brian was actually robbing banks because he couldn’t stop trying to designing new toys?’

Barry looked over to Suzy, “Mage, I don’t think he can hear us. I think the black mask thing is soundproof or something.”

“Chiller, what are we going to do then?”

“I freeze, you shoot.”

Brian watched the pair face move to block him in, his only option to go back into the bank. He was getting to old for this shit, fighting heroes just because he wasn’t letting his body get eviscerated by bullets. Dropping the bags at his feet, Brian took a seat on the sidewalk. He let out a yawn, scratching through the mask.

Barry didn’t hesitate at the chance to start freezing the villain, starting at his feet and moving upward.

Brian felt the cold penetrate his boots and then his jeans. He really didn’t want to deal with anyone right now, just wanting to go home and sleep. Maybe explode something to release any frustrations. Not have his legs frozen together. He focused on the structure of the ice. It was surprising neat for coming out of Chiller’s hands. Watching cracks appear, Brian kept pulling the formation apart. Chiller tried to fill the cracks, but it was clear that it was hastily done, all regularity out the window. Grumbling, Brian fell on his back, letting the ice encase his legs. If he was going to get covered in ice, he was going to make a spectacle when he broke out.

Barry paused when Doctor Void gave up so easily. Villains never did that unless they had a trick up their sleeve. “Mage! Get back!” Barry pulled up a shield of ice, letting the cold surround him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Suzy do something similar with her crystals. Even the police had dodged around the back of their cars. A moment passed and then two. As Barry was about to give up, a loud crackle sounded before he was knocked off his feet.

The shockwave left a buzzing in his ears and Barry assumed the comm was destroyed as well. He tried to stand, wobbling all the way up. Doctor Void was not going to be an easy villain, something indicating that he was holding back. “We’re not giving up that easily, Doctor Void! C’mon, Mage! We gotta… gotta...”

****

Dan fumbled back as the shockwave hit him. The first thing he noticed was the static had gotten louder, next was the police fumbling around blind, just like him.  Dan tried to take in the whole scene, trying to hold his ground as well. Sirens were blaring over the comm static, lights were flashing and only police on the edge and bystanders remain on their feet. Everyone else were on their knees or flat on their back, just like Barry and Suzy. They weren’t moving and Suzy had lost the faint glow she gave off when she was channeling her magic.

Before his mind could catch up, Dan was vaulting over a barricade, ignoring the protests. Dan stood over Barry, watching Doctor Void stand and brush himself off. They seemed to lock eyes for a moment, but the blackness around surrounding the man’s face made it impossible to be certain. Dan was about to call out, but resisted in case his distorted had also been effected in the blast. The man looked at the bags, sighed deeply, and turned and ran up invisible stairs, running off to God knows.

Dan tried to calm his breathing as he fawned over Barry, urging him awake. Barry’s eyes flickered open behind his goggles and Dan released his held breath and wrapped his arms around the younger man. “Oh thank god. I thought you were dead. You weren’t moving and I… I can’t lose you.” Releasing the editor at the groans next to him, Dan turned to Suzy and fussed over her. He sat her up, brushing her hair away. “God, Mage. You okay? I… Chiller and you… I don’t know what happened, but I don’t think you got hurt that bad. I mean, the comms and distorters have gone to shit, but that’s fixable, replaceable. You guys… You matter too much to me and everyone else.” Dan breathed out a laugh, stopping himself at a whoosh in the air.

Standing, Dan raised a hand. He blocked the approaching figure from having a clear shot at Barry and Suzy. The figure landed, stepping into the light. She was shorter than Dan would have thought, but then again, Dan didn’t know what he expected of Nighthawk. She was a hero that he rarely saw, maybe a dozen or so times in the years he lived in LA, and always from afar.

Nighthawk took a step towards Suzy and Dan shifted to block her from approaching further. She rolled her eyes behind the glass, nudging Dan away. “I know her. She’s Shade Mage. We’ve met before.” Dan turned to view Suzy out of the corner of his eye, who gave a shaky nod. “You can take care of Chiller then?”

Dan pulled on his most gruff voice, thankful that the sound would come out mangled from the echoing in his helmet, “Yeah. Nice to finally meet you Nighthawk.”

Holly stopped fussing with Mage to look up at the scratched helmet, “Likewise, Lumino.”

“Just Lu.”

“Lu.”


	11. Hiatus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is an apology and explanation of what's happening with this fic. Yes, I'm gonna keep working on it, I wanna get a couple chapters done before I post more. I am part way through chapter 11 and I'm hoping to get it done sometime this week. However, I don't know how long it's gonna take for me to get back to writing since, whoops, almost died Monday.
> 
> Anyway, I'll try to get back to my update schedule by the end of the month or so.
> 
> Hope you guys stay well and I'll post something new today that wrote before I almost died.
> 
> Have a good day and thank you for your patience.
> 
>  
> 
> Edit:  
>  30 March 2017
> 
> I got 3 chapters done (2 of which are shorter). And I'll be back to posting this Sunday.
> 
> (edit 03 July 2017: putting this in notes so it doesn't count in my word count so i can get accurate numbers)

..........


	12. A Mysterious Old Fiend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian has to be more careful with everything while Dan watches after Barry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> congrats you get shit a day early
> 
>  
> 
> [ reference to all the designs if anyone wants to fanart ](http://sumide1711uus-art-blog.tumblr.com/post/159080480940/all-the-references-i-made-for-my-hero-fic-brians)

Brian stood, watching Lumino and Chiller take off in one direction, Nighthawk and Mage in another. ‘Is that her name? Chiller called her that.’ He shook the thought out of his head, eyes searching for the catering van that one of the two numbskulls he could call lackeys would be driving. Closing his eyes, he scanned all the buildings, streets, and alleys within in a mile or so from where he stood. Carbon, oxygen, nitrogen, hydrogen, iron, neon, potassium. Brian paused his search, focusing in on the large chunk of potassium.

Snapping his eyes open, Brian had a clear view of the alley the van had been tucked away in. He made his way over, careful to camouflage himself if a search light came near. Eventually he had his hand on the door and swung it open. Matt and Ryan, who were deep in a conversation, screamed and cursed at the older man until Brian managed to convince the pair that he wasn’t going to harm either of them. “Are you okay now? You won’t threaten me anymore?”

Matt turned to the front, crossing his arms, “Sorry Brian. Thought you were gonna kill us. So forgive us for reacting like we were going to die.”

Ryan started the car, adding his two cents, “You can’t really blame us. We had to find out which bank you hit and then drive there and not get spotted by any cops. And even then we didn’t know if you had left already or what. So, sorry for shouting at you.”

Brian sighed, rubbing his face. “It’s fine. Just take me home, okay?”

Glancing back to the older man leaning against the door, Ryan pressed his luck, “So where’s the money? Are we still getting a share? Or was that a one-time thing?”

“Yeah,” Matt shifted in his seat to watch the doctor, “I want a cut of every haul. Doesn’t have to be a lot if you’re stealing like 200 grand every time. A couple thou should be good. Just enough to keep me quiet, y’know.”

Rolling his eyes, Brian huffed, “You’ll get your money when I get mine.”

“So where is this haul?”

“Had to leave it behind. Heroes kept showing up. First Chiller and that purple chick you freaked out about, Mage. Then Lumino decided to step in and I didn’t want to fight anymore. I’m an old man now. I really need to stop trying get away with every robbery.”

Matt glanced at Ryan, who was focused on the road. Turning back, he frowned, “What about the last haul? Shouldn’t we have our money by now? I mean, the first time it took you until the end of the day and you gave us each a nice thick envelop, so what’s the deal?”

Brian glared at the young editor. “Dan called. I fucked up and now they’re covered in dye and we can’t use that, unless you want to get arrested. Because I’ll gladly give-”

“No. You made your point.”

 

Dan fumbled around in his only pocket for his key, leaning Barry up against the wall. “It’s okay. We’re almost inside. And then we can get you in some pjs and then you can sleep and everything will be just fine, alright?” Barry’s head lulled from side to side. “Barry? Babe? I need you to talk to me. What happened?”

Barry waved his hand, snowflakes falling out of the arch, “I dunno. First I was freezing him, but then he exploded and I fell and I think I hit my head, but ice shield, so who knows?” He fell back against the cool side of their house, only to be tugged forward and stagger into the place they called home. “I’m worried about Suz. I mean, ice can shatter, take a punch, but what about magic?”

“Okay. I can call Suzy later, but right now, I need to see if _you_ have a concussion.” Dan held him steady as they traveled to the basement. Sitting Barry down on the gurney was more difficult than Dan thought, but he finally succeeded and helped peel the younger man out of his suit. “I’m gonna grab my phone because I know like three things to check for in a concussion and I’m gonna check you out, okay?” Barry nodded, shifting on the cool metal. “If you have one, I’m taking to you to the hospital. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.”

Barry laughed, leaning to one side, “You said butts.” After he said that, Dan shook his head and disappeared upstairs. A few moments of silence passed before a dull pain formed near the base of his skull. ‘Great. Now I got a headache to go with the rest of my aching body. Maybe ice will help.’ Focusing solely on the spot, Barry tried to form a small block that conformed to his head. Instead of shivering at the cool touch, he yelped and jumped away at the heat that licked his hair. Falling off the gurney and to the floor, he let out a loud string of curses that would make a sailor blush.

Dan was half way down the steps when he saw the commotion. Jumping the last half, he was kneeling in front Barry in a second, pulling the younger man into his lap. “Barry? Fuck. What happened?” The editor looked up at Dan, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “Barry?”

“I… I can’t use ice.”

Tugging him to his feet, Dan pulled Barry back to the stairs. “Okay. I’m taking you to the hospital right now. Something is wrong and I don’t know what to do about it. I can sew people up, but brain stuff? I couldn’t tell you anything. I do know that you not being able to use your powers is something majorly bad.” Dropping him on the couch, Dan gave him a quick forehead kiss. He didn’t feel his usual warm self, feeling cold and clammy. “I’m gonna get changed and get you some clothes, but after that it’s to the hospital. Okay?”

Barry nodded, falling over to lay on his side. “I’m just gonna nap here until you’re done.”

Dan glanced down at his phone, reading _Sleepiness_ on the screen. His eyes turned back to the younger man, watching, as Barry shut his eyes, tucking his hands under his head. Nudging at him, Dan frowned, his heart creeping further into his throat. “Barry, I need to stay awake. Just for a bit. Please.”

Rubbing his eyes, Barry nodded. He sat up and gave Dan his best puppy dog eyes, “But I’m sleepy.”

Dan stroked the man’s cheek with a hand. A few familiar moments passed between them before Dan cleared his throat. “I know you’re tired, but you can sleep on the drive there. It’ll be fine. Just stay awake long enough to get dressed. Can’t have you running around in your boxers.”

Barry gave a yawn, watching Dan disappear around the corner, phone still in hand. He waited, counting the seconds as they passed. ’28, 29, 30, 31…’ Barry looked back to where Dan had disappeared, hoping that he would appear in a few moment. ‘152, 153, 154, 155…’ Stretching out on the sofa, Barry placed his head on the armrest. Dan could wake him when he got down, which should be any moment now. ‘286, 287, 288, 289…’

With a triumphant sigh, Dan had finally rid himself of his sticky suit. He glanced at the clock, realizing that he had been struggling for at least six minutes and scrambled to put on clothes. Dan opted for the baggiest clothes for himself and Barry, thinking that would be the quickest and easiest to get on and off. Three minutes later, Dan was hopping down the stairs, throwing the clothes at the couch as he rounded the corner. Instead of a muffled noise, or, well, any noise, Dan stared down at the clothes on an otherwise empty couch. Picking up the fabric, he meandered around the ground floor of the house. He surely would have seen Barry on the upper level, if he had come upstairs, but Barry was lacking on both floors.

A deep breath in was all the time Dan gave himself to prepare as he swung open the basement door. From the doorway, you could take in the entire basement and well, Barry hadn’t shown up in Dan’s first, second, or third thorough sweep of the space. Feeling like a rather large idiot for not thinking about doing this first, Dan cupped his hands around his mouth, calling into the dark house.

Dan swiveled to a noise behind him, only to catch Barry falling into him. He tried his best to stay standing with the extra weight pushing him back and, after a few moments of wobbling, succeeded. “Barry, where the fuck did you go?” The shorter man said nothing, burying his face in the hoodie that clung to Dan’s thin form. “C’mon. You gotta talk to me. Didn’t you hear me come down the stairs?”

Barry sighed, tugging at the armpit seams of the hoodie, fearful of what he would see next. “I,” Barry said slowly, “Went outside.” When Dan tried to peel him off, probably to look at his face, Barry clung tighter than he had ever to anything in his entire life. “I don’t want to see.”

Dan froze for a moment before sliding his arms of the hoodie sleeves, tying them together in a knot behind Barry’s head. “There. Now you can’t see. Will you let go now?” With that, the arms slid down and off his body and Dan tugged the rest of hoodie off, letting it cover Barry’s head and face. “What don’t you want to see, Bear?”

“Him, it, them. None of it. He’s supposed to be gone.”

Passing the clothes that had rested on his shoulders to Barry, Dan took a seat on the couch. He watched Barry dress in silence, forgetting why he was for a moment. “Who? Who’s he?” With Barry fully dressed, the hoodie still wrapped around his head, Dan tugged him outside, the cool air raising goosebumps on his arms. “We’re still going to the hospital, if you’re wondering.”

“I wasn’t,” Barry said, fumbling to get into the passenger side of the car. Adjusting the makeshift blind, Barry settled into the seat, ready for Dan’s line of question. He knew he was being vague, but that’s the best he could be. He certainly didn’t know what that creature was or why he thought it was vaguely a male human. “If you wanna ask about that thing I saw, I made a deal with it to leave me alone.” Dan started the car, turning to Barry. “Obviously, it thinks I broke my side, which I didn’t, by the way. I… I don’t want to see it ever again. Now, can we just go to the hospital so I can get checked out and you can stop being such a worry wart?”

Dan wanted to ask about the thing. About the deal. About why Barry was afraid. But nothing came out and instead, Dan pulled out of the driveway, driving to the closest hospital. Maybe he would be brave enough to ask as they got closer. Even with the hospital in his sights, Dan couldn’t think of a single thing to ask about. After a few quiet moments of the car cooling, clanking randomly, Dan finally spoke, “We’re here. You’ll have to take off my hoodie, you know.”

Barry nodded, fiddling with the loose knot at the back of his head. Instead of an inky black blob running towards him as quickly as possible, the headlights shone on a bare cement wall, something in a parking garage. “Do…” Barry stopped himself from asking the question that would lead to more trouble for him. When Dan failed to move when he did, Barry bit back the only sane part that seemed to still be around, “Do you think he’ll come back?”

Dan reached over, grabbing Barry’s hand in his. “If he does, we can deal with him together.”

Instead of pulling away and making a face like his gut reaction told him, Barry nodded once more and climbed out of the car. For five years, at least, Barry had seen the blob man he had dubbed The Figure in dreams or out of the corner of his eyes. He had, of course, gone to therapy to make sure that it was real. The therapist hadn’t been much help, shoving a couple different pills down his throat before he had stopped going and Barry hadn’t been to therapy since, despite knowing that The Figure wouldn’t go away until he found something to keep the blob in check.

Barry had managed to talk to it a few times. The last time he had, Barry had managed to work out a deal, since the creature seemed focused on watching over Barry.

_“If you stop coming around and freaking me out, I promise I won’t get hurt anymore. Since that seems to always draw you near,” Barry said slowly, enunciating each syllable. The Figure gave a quick nod. “Do you understand me? You have to stay away from me. You can’t see me anymore.” The Figure gave another nod. “Okay. Well, I’m fine. So please leave. You scare me.” The Figure gave a last nod slowly, its shoulders falling ever so slightly._

Barry walked along aside Dan, waiting for The Figure to pop up out of nowhere and scare him. Glancing up at the taller man, Barry spouted out nonsense to distract himself and Dan from the creature that had plagued him, “What game did you guys play? I could have sworn I heard Arin screaming at one point.”

Dan laughed, “Only you could think about what _I_ did when you’re the one with the concussion.” Barry hummed a response as they stepped into the hospital. It was going to be a long night.


	13. A Quiet Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ross tries to deal with reality while Holly is watching after Suzy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo what up i'm not dead or anything  
> storytime for why this is like a month and half late  
> forgot and then by the time i remembered i was drowning in final projects and paper and final and went on vacay for 2 weeks after my last final (still on vacay flight leaves tomorrow)  
> but good news i'm almost done with like the like 3 chapters in before the big dramatic one so i should be good to go for a while.  
> also this fic is gonna have at 22 chapters, but probably closer to 30.  
> also also someone else gets cool powers  
> love you babes see you next chapter

Ross nearly jumped out of bed as everything came back into focus. With everything going on, he could only hope he didn’t add heart attack to Barry’s list of ailments. He didn’t mean to run like a bat out of Hell towards Barry, but something felt off and with Holly disappearing like that, Ross could only assume the worst. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he took the first steps to standing up, his own weight feeling odd on his feet.

Shaking the feeling away, Ross shuffled out of the bedroom and into his studio. He always felt better if he could sketch what he had seen during his time than let it stew in his head. Plopping down in his chair, he turned his computer on. For a moment, he thought to sketch as quickly as possible, so he could try to find Holly, but he shook his head. Ross tried several months ago when Holly disappeared one night, but he had lost her signature quickly and regretted letting her slip away.

Bring his fist down on the desk, Ross hissed at the pain shooting up his arm. When he was the void, nothing hurt, nothing could stop him. Well, being limited to what he could interact with in his environment was the only drawback. But Ross had been able to figure that out when he was just 15. When you’re forced out of your body every time you sleep, you figure things out.

Ross grabbed his tablet pen, sketching out scenes from his memories. His house. The highway. Barry and Dan’s house. Their basement, which Ross was sure was just the void messing with him. Who in their right mind would have a gurney in their basement? Barry sitting on the couch in nothing but boxers, eyes wide open and staring down Ross. Barry standing in the cold October air, back turned to Ross. Dan climbing down their stairs. Ross’ house once more.

Ross glanced at the clock. He had been working for almost 3 hours now and the only thing left in his head was the fog of sleepiness. He saved the drawings, shutting his computer down once more. He could sort through them better after he wandered around L.A. for a bit. Crawling back into bed, Ross took a deep breath. He was going to have to check on Barry in the morning.

 

Holly was careful as she placed Mage on the gravel roof of a nearby building. If the man, Doctor Void, or whatever, tried to hurt Mage, Holly would defend her tooth and nail. But that was hypothetical and right now she need to be in the moment. Mage was groaning quietly, moving every so often. While Holly would have cheered that Mage wasn’t dead, that didn’t mean the purple hero was okay by any means and she would need to be thoroughly examined.

Taking a deep breath, Holly tried to explain everything she was going to do. Everything from hand placement to poking and prodding Mage. After a few minutes of surface examinations, Holly, despite limited medical knowledge, determined that Mage had at least a few cracked ribs, possibly even broken, and more than a few nasty bruises and cuts. “Mage?” Holly asked quietly, keeping her calm tone.

Suzy blinked up to Nighthawk. She was pretty, the moonlight illuminating her helmet. She even reminded Suzy of Dan for a moment. “Barry?” Suzy asked, her throat tight. She should have tried to save Barry. Tears were brought to the surface, fearful that he had somehow passed away in the time it took to get to the building. She didn’t want to lose such a close friend.

Holly sat straighter for a moment. “Do you mean Chiller?” Mage nodded. How did Mage know Chiller was Barry? Holly hadn’t been privileged to that information. “He left with Lu. Lu is gonna look him over. Right now, I’m worried about you.”

“No, I… I need to know he’s okay.”

“Later. I promise. Just let me take care of you right now.” Holly took a deep breath. “Now, I’m no medical professional, but I do know you have a bunch of cracked ribs and other fun goodies and you need a hospital.”

Suzy waved her hand, “No, take me to Dan’s. He can fix me up. I mean, he takes care of Barry and everything, so why can’t he stitch me up? And that way we can check-up on Barry, too.”

What in the world was happening right under Holly’s nose? Why was Dan stitching up people willy-nilly? Who the fuck else was a hero? Was Dan a hero? Was Ross? Or Brian or Matt or Ryan or Vernon or Jack or Brent? “Suzy?” Holly asked, uncertain if it truly was her friend, but when Mage swiveled her head, Holly knew for sure. “I can’t take you to Dan’s. He can’t fix broken ribs. And I don’t even know it that’s all of it. You need a hospital.”

“Stop worrying, Hol,” Suzy muttered out, sitting up slowly, “’m fine. F-I-N-E. Fine.” Suzy looked down at her hands before up at Nighthawk. “Are you Holly?” Her stomach twisted into knots. She had been wrong and now she had just outed herself, Barry, and Dan. How could she be so stupid and forgetful about the people that knew?

Holly removed her helmet, “Yeah, it’s me, Suzy. Now will you got to the hospital with me?” Suzy nodded, wobbling to her feet. “Let’s get you out of that outfit first.”

“What’s wrong with it? I can just take off my mask and boom. I look like a regular person. You should change, Mrs. Bird Lady.”

Holly rolled her eyes, slinging an arm over her shoulder, “It’s Nighthawk.”

“Blah, blah, blah. You’re Holly and I love you.”

Holly looked down at the other woman. “I love you, too. Now I think it would be better if I held you like Superman holds Lois Lane. It is better for flying, you know.” Suzy said nothing, letting Holly scoop her up. It was quiet all the way to Holly and Ross’ house. Fishing a key out of a pocket Suzy hadn’t noticed, Holly opened the door, a finger on her lips. “I think Ross came back early.”

Without another word, Suzy watched Holly leave before sitting down on the sofa. As much as she wanted to lay down and sleep, avoiding all the pain, Holly was back down in a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt, reflecting Suzy’s own style. “Hospital then?” Holly nodded and they disappeared back into the dark.  


 

Brian shifted in his bed for the fourth time since he climbed in a few minutes ago. Surely he had woken Rachel by this point, but he couldn’t stop fidgeting and he removed himself from the bed once more. He could pace in the living room all he wanted without waking everyone in the house. Staring at the couch in front of him, Brian could feel the anger of helplessness boil under the surface.

Grabbing one of the mismatched pillows on the furniture, Brian squeezed it in his hands. It wasn’t quite as satisfying as using his powers, but  _ goddamnit _ , he didn’t want to burn through another pillow the same day. Throwing it back to its spot, Brian walked into the kitchen. Maybe ice could help clear his mind.

The ice clanked loudly in the glass, but Brian didn’t care. He just needed to rid his mind of everything. His brain picked at the particles, cracking the ice silently. It was rather soothing and everything about the heroes he faced washed away like a message in the sand at the beach. After several minutes, he was leaning against the counter holding a glass filled with ice chips.

Brian stared down at the ice, musing to it, “I’m not a bad guy, am I?” When the ice remained silent, slowly melting from the heat of his hand and the room, Brian continued, “Robbing a bank isn’t that bad. And yeah the explosions and the research facilities were probably unnecessary, but no one got hurt and now everyone knows my name. Well, Doctor Void. But I’m not going to kill anyone or destroy something that can’t be replaced. A building can be. And I’m sure those safety deposit boxes are fireproof, so no one is losing anything. I would know. I looked it up, a bank will insure you for a quarter of million dollars and I never take more than that, just so no one loses money.”

The ice shifted with the melting, sloshing in the water. “Robbing a bank isn’t that bad. Especially since I won’t have to use any of our savings. I can’t take that away from them, but the house and the cars and the machine, device, I don’t even know what it is anymore. They take money to keep up and all the nanomachining that has to be done for it is fucking expensive. And it’s not like I’m experimenting on or torturing people. Just me. Just to know what I can do stop it.”

Brian stopped, taking a sip of the ice water. “Or is that my punishment? That there  _ is _ some cosmic force that gave me the powers and using them to destroy is why this is happening. Why I keep dying.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit: i'll return to my weekly sunday updates this sunday may 28th 2017  
> also my tumblr if you have questions: [ click here ](http://sumide1711uu.tumblr.com/)


	14. Hospitals and the Void

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to a hospital and a visit from a 'friend'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol i was working on this today and almost forgot to update  
> anyway, have some more barry and dan  
> someone new is gonna get powers in posted chapter 16 (actually chapter 15)

Barry shifted on the paper sheet under him, the crinkling causing him to pause for a split second. He looked over to Dan, who is staring at the wall in front of him, nodding as the doctor spoke. He tried to pay attention to anything being said to him, but it was all a blur, his mind focused on another blur. The doctor nodded once more to Barry before slipping out the door. His eyes wandered back to the taller man, taking in as much as possible. “What did he say?”

Dan focused back on Barry, his stomach in twists. Barry looked so small and scared in that moment that Dan wanted to scoop up the younger man and watch after him forever. “You probably do have a concussion,” Dan said slowly, making sure Barry understood him. “You’ll have to stay away from computers and heroing for a bit. Until your brain fixes itself and I’ll watch after you. I mean, they can wait a week for you to get better. And we have enough of a backlog, that I’ll only have to go in maybe once this week or next and not for long.” Dan glanced at the clock on the wall above Barry’s head, “And it’s Thursday. So maybe I’ll just go in next week. Would that be okay?”

Barry sat there for a moment, letting his brain sort through the different words. Once completed, he gave a small nod. A wave of nausea hit him like a freight train and he leaned into Dan’s chest. “Fuck. I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

“Are you or just feel that way?”

“Just feel. Can we go home yet?” Barry murmured into the thick fabric of the hoodie. “I just want to sleep.”

“Not quite. Just a few more minutes and then we’ll be out of here and you can sleep all your heart wants. Can you manage until then?”

Barry nodded, removing himself from the cloth. Dan cupped his face, giving a light kiss on the end of his nose. With a happy sigh, Barry fixed his position to face the door, which swung back open. The doctor came back in, handing Barry a slip of paper. Barry stared down at the paper as Dan and the doctor chatted for a few more moments before leaving the couple alone once more. “What is this?”

“The doctor said it’s some anti-nausea medication. Said it was optional, but I think you should get anyway, if you feel sick.” Dan tugged Barry off the raised bed. “Let’s get you some of the meds and then you can sleep and I’ll talk to Arin and everyone when it isn’t 1:30 at night.”

Barry nodded, letting time pass over him. He couldn’t tell how anything happened. Just that he was back in his bed, snuggling closer to Dan. As he shut his eyes for the night, he would swear that he heard Ross whisper his name.

 

It’s quiet for a few moments as Ross reoriented himself in the space. It was always a struggle teleporting places. Better than running, but not by much. It was quiet. Silent even, which was the worst thing possible for him at this moment. He couldn’t hear the chatter of the people three feet from him or the footsteps slapping against the tile floor. If he wasn’t careful, he could easily kill someone. Ross tried to center himself, pulling the form of his being closer.

After more than a few deep breaths and close to five minutes, Ross felt like he could move through the halls without startling someone. He closed his eyes, or some equivalent, focusing in on the signatures of the people on the floor. All moving, shifting with each breath. What he found wasn’t the one he was hoping for, but Ross moved towards it anyway. Another similar and familiar signature was curled up next to the first. He could do this.

Without a word from the void, Ross was back to square one, his house. It always felt weird to stare at his house when he was in the void, like watching a live camera feed of yourself. Of course he had done livestreams, but this was wrong. This being wasn’t him and he was asleep somewhere. Shaking away the feeling and turning towards the street, Ross debated if it would be worth it to try to go back to the hospital after the void had unceremoniously dropped him on his stoop.

After realizing that the cons outweighed the pros, Ross decided that while he was free to more or less do whatever, he could check on Barry and ring him in the morning to be sure he was fine. And after, if he wanted to, he could wander through a nearby park, letting his brain drift as the void tugged him in one direction or another. With a deep breath, Ross focused on the memory of the house, the address, the slight slant the ground had in the front.

Wind whistled past and Ross was suddenly in front of Dan and Barry’s shared house, which felt livelier after he learned Dan and Barry were dating. While they had tried to keep it hushed, Barry was a blabber mouth when it came to his best friend and spilled a few days ago that a few days prior they had an awkward coming out and confessions night. Stepping through the door revealed a mess of clothes, specifically hoodies and sweatpants, leading in a line to the stairs. Ross tried to block out the image of two of his closest friends going at it, but failed, causing him to shake the image out of his head.

Turning towards the stairs, Ross tried to follow the bright signature, watching it shift and move slightly. It was sluggish in its movement, flickering red every few seconds. Without another thought, Ross was standing in the corner of the master bedroom. “ _Barry?”_ That wasn’t his voice, but close. After a few heartbeats, Barry’s signature turned back to the pale blue it always had, refusing to darken even a bit.

Ross sighed, eyes narrowing on the long signature next to the sleeping man. It was squishing and stretching, its core staring right through Ross. Looking at the eyes of the owner, Ross realized that Dan was staring him down, pulling Barry closer. The moon illuminated the room enough that Ross could see Dan’s lips twitch with a word, Leave.

Ross nodded, exaggerating the movement to make it clear to the man. After a few minutes of watching Barry’s signature to be 100% positive he was fine, Ross waved a farewell, letting the void pull him into an alleyway in a more than sketchy part of downtown. He would definitely need to talk to Barry and Dan about what he does, but not now. Not for a while.

 

Dan watched the creature slowly withdraw into the wall, or maybe it had blinked out of existence, but all he knew was the _thing_ that had haunted Barry for god knows how long was back. Silently promising himself that he would do anything to protect Barry, Dan closed his eyes, waiting for the next day to come and then, maybe, he could deal with the demon.

When Dan woke later that same day, Barry was still curled into him, mumbling thing in his sleep. Dan gave the smaller man a quick forehead kiss before dislodging himself from the bed. Going to the bathroom, he made a quick list in his head of what he had to do.

‘Call Arin and explain in the best way what had happened and why we would be out of the office, at least for a good week

‘Make sure Barry doesn’t sleep too late and make breakfast

‘Keep Barry off his phone, computer, and the TV as much as possible

‘Get more milk.’

Checking the time, Dan started with the first thing on his list. He sent off a quick text, asking if now was a good time to call. Without a response, Dan answered Arin’s call.

“ _What in the fucking goddamn hell happened last night?_ ”

“We tried to fight Doctor Void and lost.”

“ _You think?!”_ Arin nearly shouted into the phone. His voice went soft, “ _Are you guys okay?_ ”

“Yeah. I mean, I didn’t get hit, but Barry’s got a concussion and I was going to watch him for at least a week, and that’s why I called actually. About time off. I… Is Suzy okay?”

“ _She’ll live. I… What were you guys thinking? I thought you said you could handle him?”_

“No. I said the opposite. I doubted that I could. Do you know if anyone else is hurt? I mean, you know about us, but Nighthawk was with us and I’m sure she’s fine, I just want to be sure.”

“ _I don’t know who Nighthawk is. I only know you three. And no one else has called off, so I’m assuming…”_

“That’s good. You gonna stay home and watch after Suzy? What… What happened to her?”

“ _I’m not sure myself, but she showed up at like 5 in the morning covered in bandages and bruises and passed out on the couch. And I’m too afraid to move her, in case she has something that can’t be moved. I… I don’t know what to do, Dan. I’m scared.”_

Dan looked back to his bedroom, “I am too.” Clearing his throat, Dan centered himself, “We can face this together. We’ll figure something out.”

“… _Okay. But no more fighting until they get better. It would do more harm than good in any capacity.”_

“Agreed. I… I don’t want to lose anyone because I think we maybe have a chance of taking down Doctor Void. If you need me to get anything or do anything for you, since it seems Suzy is a bit more worst for wear than Barry is, I’m just a call away.”

“ _Thanks. I’m gonna check on Suz now. We’ll talk later. Love you, man.”_

“Love you, too.”

It was quiet the moment Dan hung up to the moment before he shook Barry awake for breakfast nearly three hours later. The stillness of the house in that time forced Dan to replay the events of a few hours prior. A figure appeared in the corner of their bedroom, called to Barry, said his _fucking_ name, and then disappeared like a ghost into the night. But for a reason unknown to Dan, he felt like the figure was being protective over Barry, not wishing any sort of ill-will on the sleeping man. While he wanted to ask Barry about it, get his insight to the creature, Dan knew better than to ask a possibly harmful question.

Shaking the thoughts from his head, Dan grabbed a pair of headphones and his phone and began cleaning, something he did that kept thoughts at bay, something left over from his OCD days. It wasn’t until everything had been at least wiped down and clothes running in the washing machine that Dan tried to wake Barry. He was unsuccessful the first few nudges, but at number five, Barry blinked up at the taller man. “Morning, Sleeping Beauty. Or should I say afternoon?”

Barry stretched quietly, feeling his joints pop satisfyingly. He gave a soft smile, covering up for the dull pain behind his ears, “Afternoon to you too, Prince Charming.”

Dan laughed lightly. Everything felt like it would be alright. “I would be Prince Phillip actually. Prince Charming is Cinderella’s prince.” Barry rolled his eyes and his body, snuggling deep under the covers. “I woke you because it’s getting late and you need to eat something today. It can just be B.R.A.T.Y. I don’t care, but something.”

Barry slowly shifted back to face Dan, eyebrows furrowed. “B.R.A.T.Y? What in the world is that?”

“Bananas, rice, applesauce, toast, yogurt. Well, sometimes yogurt. It depends on what’s going on. But those are the foods proved to be the hardest for your body to throw up. So if you’re still feeling nausea, I can make you some rice or something.”

Barry sat up slowly, his mind trying to remember everything that had happened. ‘Doctor Void. Dan and Nighthawk. Home. Fire. Concussion. Couch. The Figure.’ Barry looked up at Dan, who seemed oblivious to the horror of The Figure, scrolling through his phone. Barry shifted in the bed, swinging his legs over the edge. ‘The Figure. Hospital. Medicine. Home. Ross. Ross?’ Barry stood, his body swaying lightly. “Can I call someone or is that on the not to do list?”

Dan looked up from his phone, “Yeah. I don’t see why not. Just don’t talk too long. You still need to eat.” Dan held out the device, “Just use mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also highkey didn't expect this to get this big (thought i would be writing a maybe 10k egobang hero fic, not a probably 50k multiship hero fic with a proper villain and everything)  
> also also expect anywhere from 25 to 40 chapters of this.  
> see ya next week  
> tumblr if you want: [ sumide1711uu ](http://sumide1711uu.tumblr.com/)


	15. Health and Wealth and Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ross works while Suzy talks to Arin about magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost forgot to update again, but i didn't  
> next chapter is some more world building

Ross jumped, his phone ringing loudly next to him. Checking the caller ID, he reminded himself to call Barry after. He waited for it to ring once more before answering, “’Ello?”

“ _ Hey Ross. This is Barry.” _

“Barry? Hey, what’s up?”

“ _ Nothing much. Strained my brain with editing so I’m gonna take the rest of the week off. How’s your day going?” _

“It’s good. Just working. I… Is there a reason for this call or did you just want to say hey? Because I won’t complain if it’s the latter.”

“ _ Yeah. I just woke up and wanted to call you, check up on you. I hope that’s okay.” _

“You’re my best friend. You can call anytime.” Ross didn’t want to hang up, but something, maybe, probably, the void, was telling him to. “Hey. I gotta go help Hol with some stuff, but we can talk later if you want.”

“ _ Yeah. Okay. Love ya, man.” _

“Love you too. Bye.” Ross leaned back in his chair, staring at the tablet in front of him. Dan was staring back at him, arms wrapped tight around Barry. Ross really needed to tell them he wasn’t a threat. Explaining that he wasn’t a threat being a black blurry void figure was going to be an uphill battle, but something Ross was determined to conquer. He saved the image with the date and rough time before starting on the next scene from his sleep, the alley. It was barren, haunting him further.

Ross shook his head. ‘Get the image out.’ It didn’t take long to complete, but something flashed in his mind. It was the same location, same lighting, same everything. The only distinction was a faint outline of a signature, blazing red and curled in on itself. “Who dies there?” Ross whispered, but the void remained silent, not even the hint of static as it thought. “Can I save them?”

 

Suzy yawned, stretching slightly before stopping and crying out in pain. Arin was over her in a second, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Suzy?” He whispered, careful of everything he did. How in the hell was he supposed to know how injured she was if she immediately passed out? Suzy turned her head slowly to her husband. “What happened?”

Suzy swallowed, her tongue heavy and mouth dry. Her voice was gravely as she spoke, “Ribs, broken, fractured, something. Can’t move.”

Arin sat back on his heels, helpless about the entire situation and fearful of the future. “Is there something I can do? I… Geez, Suzy, I thought I was gonna lose you.”

“Can’t get rid of me that easily,” she said, smiling. She patted Arin’s cheek before resting her hand on his shoulder. Arin moved, giving the palm of her hand a quick kiss, eyes wandering over her. “I’ll be fine. I… I think the doctor said six weeks. Less if I can get to the basement.”

“I… I can try to carry you, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

Suzy sat up slowly, watching for any more injuries to make themselves known. When nothing new showed up, she gave herself an once-over. She had stitches on her forehead and left arm, some down the side of her leg, more than a few large bruises on her back of her body, but nothing that couldn’t be sped up.

Suzy looked back to Arin, “I’ll be okay. Just go slowly, okay?” Arin nodded enthusiastically, walking backwards on his knees. He held out his arms for her to climb into them. Shifting her body, Suzy carefully made her way into Arin’s arms, leaning back gently to not press too hard on her bruises or shift her ribs.

After they had shuffled their way to the basement, Arin hesitated. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, his voice barely a whisper.

Suzy laughed lightly, “I’m not made of glass. I’ll be okay.” When Arin didn’t step forward, she leaned up and gave his neck a kiss. “Trust me. And even if you do hurt me a bit, things will be okay soon enough.”

With that bit of extra confidence, Arin made his way down the step, careful not to jar Suzy at all. He placed her on a chair that they got somewhere, but didn’t fit with the rest of the house. Arin watched her gesture to an old bookcase filled with similarly aged knick-knacks and thick tomes. Running a hand over the leather binding, he glanced over his shoulder to Suzy, who was picking at a small scab on her leg. “Which one?”

Suzy perked up before pointing to one of the ends, “The small red one. Like super small compared to the others. It’s a bit like a normal notebook, can’t miss it.”

Arin ran his hand over the spines of more than a few of the tomes before stopping at the far end. Tugging out to the smallest book he saw on the shelf, he held it up to Suzy, “This the right one?” With a nod from her, Arin brought it over, examining more of the bottles and jars Suzy left among to other glass ornaments on the eye level shelf. “What’s in all of these jar and shit?”

“Potions, herbs, other ingredients,” Suzy said, flipping open the notebook dotted with small sketches throughout each recipe. “I’m gonna need a bit of help, if that’s okay.”

Arin stopped himself from laughing. “Of course. You can barely move as it is. Just… let me be your hands. Tell me what you need and I’ll get it, no hesitation.”

“Some water and like a billion Advil.”  After a beat, Suzy smiled and added, “Please.”

“How about 4 and I’ll give you more later?” When Suzy said nothing, returning to her book, Arin pressed a light kiss to the top of her head and sprints up the stairs. “I’ll be right back,” he shouted from the top of the stairs, disappearing from view.

Suzy sighed, looking back through the book. She knew she wrote down a recipe for faster healing, but apparently, it disappeared from the book. Instead of snapping the book shut in frustration, she started from the beginning reading the heading of each page before finding the right page.  _ Broken Bones Be-Gone _ was slapped across the top of page and Suzy couldn’t help but laugh at the stupid title she gave it not even a few months ago.

“Find the page?” Arin said, startling Suzy out of her thoughts. He placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, “Didn’t mean to scare you. I got a bottle of water and the Advil.” After watching Suzy drain half the water bottle and down the Advil he tapped out, Arin said, “Now, what do you need to help you?”

Suzy started listing all the ingredients, pointing to each jar and bottle, as Arin placed them on the table in front of her. “And lastly, rosemary. It should be in the large bottle behind the dog.”

“I don’t see it.”

Suzy rolled her eyes, “C’mon. It’s a huge bottle. You can’t miss it.”

“Well, it’s not here.” Arin turned back to Suzy. “Can’t I just get some from the kitchen?”

Suzy slowly moved in the chair, slumping into the arm, “I have to bless it, but it could work.” Nodding, Arin sprinted back up the stairs, leaving Suzy to look over all the bottles and jars. She grabbed one at random, reading the fading label,  _ Lavender _ . She tugged off the cork, inhaling the sweet scent. Even though it was just one ingredient in a long list, Suzy could feel the pressure ease off her ribs just a bit.

When Arin came back down, Suzy asked for a small empty bottle on the end of the top shelf. Arin did as asked before a question formed on his lips. “Got a couple questions.” Suzy nodded, letting Arin continue his thought. “How do you bless things and what does that do?”

Dumping half of the cooking rosemary on the table in front of her, Suzy spread it out. “Well, I more or less just recite some words and that infuses the rosemary with magic, making it better to use for potions and the like. I mean, I could have just dumped regular cooking rosemary into the bowl.” Suzy paused, looking around. “I need a bowl. Can you get me one? I should have one somewhere on the bottom shelf.”

After digging around for a while, Arin secured his hand around a bowl as another question took shape in his mind. “Last question. How did you know you could do magic?”

Suzy didn’t answer right away, mumbling incoherent words over the herb. There was a flash of purple that Arin almost missed before Suzy swept half the rosemary into the bowl and the other half into the miniature bottle. “Well, I don’t know. Ever since I was a kid, I always felt this like energy around me. It got stronger a  few weeks after I met you actually. But, like, I didn’t realize what it was until a few years ago.” Suzy paused, dumping a few herbs into the bowl as well. 

Suzy took a swig of the water, continuing, “And even then, I didn’t really wanna do anything. We were about to get married and I didn’t want to do anything and, like, accidentally hurt myself or anything right before. So it kinda faded from my mind, but a few months ago, I finally had some time to mess around and well, I think the rest is history.” 

Dropping a few drops of oil into the bowl, Suzy smiled at the scent spilling from the bowl. She swirled the beginnings of the potion with her finger, rubbing the oil off on her forehead over her stitches. Waiting a few moments, she mumbled the words written in her notebook.

After she finished, Arin raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you need to say it really coherently or else it doesn’t work?”

“No,” Suzy said, not shaking her head, as she silently counted rose petals. Placing them in a compass formation on the edge of the bowl, Suzy expounded on her answer, “It seems as long as I know what I’m saying, the Flow, the energy, doesn’t seem to mind. It’s kinda like it knows what I’m thinking.”

Arin leaned against the bookcase, watching Suzy work her literal magic. “Do you get, like, exhausted or anything?”

Suzy answered with another no. “I mean, like I do, but only if I do a lot and the Flow doesn’t have any energy I can take from. Right now, it seems like it’s overflowing, so I might be able to make a more powerful potion, which means I might be okay in like 2 weeks. And, like, I can make strength potions to help me.” She turned to look up at Arin. “I’ll be okay.”

Arin laughed lightly, “You sure seem it already. Like you are just filled with energy that you didn’t have when you first woke up. Is that the… the Flow?” Suzy shrugged. “Do you think other people get their powers from the Flow? Like Barry or Dan? That they, like, uh, tap into the energy in the Flow?”

Watching a purple cloud float around the bowl before spilling on the table, Suzy shrugged once more. Carefully, she added water until the tips of the rose petals began floating. Slowly, the water became an almost sickening yellow and the petals pulled away. Without a thought, she whispered a quick praise for a job well done before drinking the concoction, filtering the larger herbs with her teeth.

The results weren’t immediate, but the pressure in her head and chest eased slightly, the aches dulled, and the heat of her whole body seemed to cool a couple of degrees. Suzy relaxed back into the chair, any pain in her ribs minimal. Her eyes snapped back up to Arin, who looked rather disgusted by the whole process. “I’m feeling much better. Thanks, babe.”

Arin wrinkled his nose once more, in mock offense this time. “Why I never!” He nearly shouted before softening, “Do I need to take you back up or will you be okay?”

Suzy stood, shaking on her feet, “Maybe hold my hand and be behind me, but I think it’s just gonna be like a bad cold for a few weeks while my ribs finish healing. With enough energy and strength potions, I’ll probably be mainly independent in 2 weeks or so.”

 

It wasn’t his fault. It never was. It was always wherever he got his powers from. Or at least, that’s what Brian blames. He couldn’t quite blame himself when he hadn’t done anything wrong in his life until the place decided that it hated Brian and made its personal mission to fuck him over as much as possible.

That was why Brian was hunched over the blueprints on a table in his second home, trying to keep his breathing steady. It’s harder to do than thought as the pressure continued to build in his heart. Even with his energy focused on his lungs, Brian managed to be able to countdown until everything would fade away and he would be standing over his own body. ‘5, 4, 3, 2, 1.’

The world in front of him tilted up before flashing white. After so many times, one might think Brian would be used to the intense pressure followed quickly by something that felt close to a searing heat, but no. He tried to scream as he thought his skin was certainly melting, but no noise came. After a few moments, the pain ebbed and the world faded back in. He was hovering over his twitching body, standing as he had been a few minutes earlier.

Carefully, Brian squatted, examining the body for any injury he would feel as he came back. Finding none, he straightened, brushing off his jeans. He waited and waited and waited. This was always the worst part. He knew he wouldn’t be trapped in some ghost realm for more than 5 minutes, but time always seemed to flow slower here.

In a flash, Brian was thrust back into his corpse, coughing and sputtering to get any air into his lungs. He was able to pick himself up and flop into a chair before all the energy drained from him and he fainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr: [ sumide1711uu ](http://sumide1711uu.tumblr.com/)
> 
> edit: lol forgot to mention that what happens with brian is what i went through once  
> yes i did die


	16. Wishing for Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ross gets sick and it seems to have spread through the office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's a day late  
> was super high watching the scare to care stream

It wasn't quite how Ross wanted his day to go, but he wasn't going to complain entirely. He got a call from Barry that morning and now he was back at the office, searching for the reference file he had made forever and a day ago, which had disappeared into his organization of files. Tapping his fingers on his desk, Ross spun in his chair. The motion calmed his buzzing mind, but did nothing for his building nausea. His eyes flicked to the corner of his monitor, calculating the time until he would be back in bed and rid of nausea.

Ross stopped spinning long enough to copy the file to the flash drive he stuck in. After a few moments of trying to remove said drive, the spinning finally got to his stomach and Ross nearly tripped, running to the bathroom. He didn’t bother to kick close the door; no one was in the office anyway.

A few minutes passed and Ross finally felt well enough to drive himself home. Picking himself up off the tiled floor, he faintly heard the main door open as the void helps him to his feet. He gave a soft smile as he walked back into the main space. The void had been avoiding him on and off for the past week and Ross was more than thankful it came back. However, he was not thankful for the rollercoaster his stomach seemed trapped on. Gripping the table, his stomach settled back into place.

“You okay?”

Ross’ eyes snapped to the voice. Ryan stood next to his own desk, eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly. Waving a hand, Ross felt the void straighten him. “Yeah. Think it’s a stomach bug or something. Arin said Suzy’s got the same thing.”

Ryan frowned, “Seems like everyone is sick or getting there. Matt was vomming this morning, too. I,” he paused, flipping back to his computer. “I just came back to get some files to work from home, since Matt’s been a fucking baby about everything.” He rolled his eyes, watching the file transfer. “I… Is everyone else sick? I mean, it’s like 1 in the afternoon on a Thursday and no one’s here. Well, besides us. It’s kinda creepy.” Ryan dragged another file to transfer, “Makes today all the more appropriate, huh?”

Ross felt the void push him away as if it thought Ryan was the reason for his illness, while he fiddled with the drive to finally come out. “What do you mean?”

“It’s Halloween. Creepy office, creepy holiday. But seriously, where is everyone?”

Ross folded the drive, slipping it into his pocket, as he gathered the rest of his belongs, “Arin’s taking care of Suzy. Dan’s watching after Barry because he hurt his brain? He wasn’t make sense. Well, I guess you wouldn’t if you hurt your brain. Anyway, Jack’s still out on vacation and based on everyone else, I would place money on Brian and Vern being sick, too. Hell, Holly will probably get what I got.” He paused long enough to look back at Ryan, “If you don’t want to join the party, I suggest you keep your distance.”

Ryan laughed, shaking his head. “As soon as Matt work up this morning, I took one of those Vitamin C things. Can’t have all possible editors out of commission. Speaking of Matt,” Ryan said, glancing down at his blank wrist, “I should get back to him. He’s either puking his guts out or passed out on the toilet and neither would be good.” Ejecting the drive, Ryan folded his before waving off Ross. He took one more look around the empty office. It really was creepy being so dead.

Shaking his head once more, Ryan headed out. The drive back was quiet, some random pop station playing in the background. Tapping his fingers on the wheel at a red light, Ryan had half the mind to drive and pick up crackers and soup for Matt when he’s not violently sick. He knew something was wrong the moment he put his key into the hole. He didn’t hear Lego coming to greet him. He didn’t hear Lego at all when he opened the door. No snoring, no skittery clack on nails on hardwood, no bark. Nothing.

Setting the bags in the kitchen, Ryan peeked around every corner. He would tell you he was looking for Lego or Matt, but that wasn’t what he was looking for, wasn’t  _ who _ he was looking for. Grabbing an umbrella from the coat closet they never used, Ryan armed himself, tiptoeing through the apartment. It wasn’t until he heard soft groans and hiccups resonating from the bathroom that he lowers his makeshift weapon.

Ryan eased the door open, calling to the man inside, “Matt? You okay in here?”

Ryan got the door half-way open before a leg stops him. “Shit, dude. Yeah, I’m in here,” Matt called back. He pulled himself closer to the bowl, blowing spit into the porcelain. “Why do you need to know?”

Once more, Ryan opened the door again, taking in all of Matt’s crumpled form. He knew Matt was pale, but actually translucent wasn’t exactly what he teased Matt about. “Dude, something isn’t right.”

“What do mean something isn’t right?” Matt shrieked, snot and tears flying everywhere. “If it’s me being sick, then no shit, Sherlock.”

Ryan met Matt’s eyes, panic building in the sick man’s eyes. That set off a chain reaction. Matt disappeared more, which panicked Ryan, which panicked Matt, which made Matt flicker in and out of visibility more rapidly. ‘He’s just a late bloomer. It’s okay. It’s okay.’ Kneeling, Ryan rubbed Matt’s legs, “Hey, it’s okay. Things are going to be okay.”

Ryan watched with almost bated breath as Matt started to relax, becoming whole once more. He needed to tell Matt what actually was happening, but it would have to wait until he wasn’t puking his guts out. “Yeah, see? Everything's a-okay.” Matt looked up at him, a hesitant smile painting his lips. “Yeah. C’mon. Let’s get you into bed.”

Matt said nothing, his heart a quiet thump in his chest, as Ryan scooped him up, mumbling quiet reassurances. It was nice in that way. Snuggling deeper into Ryan, Matt heard him laugh a little. He was okay with Ryan holding him forever.

“C’mon. Out of my arm,” Ryan said, rolling Matt into his bed. When Matt rolled back to him, Ryan put a hand on his shoulder. “Nope. I’m not getting sick. I… Give me a sec. I’ll be right back.” Matt stared at him with large eyes, “I promise.”

Matt pouted, but Ryan had already left by that point and he opted to snuggle into the bed that smelled so much like Ryan. ‘Ryan?’ Sitting up only made his head spin and his stomach twist. Slowly as to not disturb his stomach more, Matt laid back down, observing the room. He was definitely in Ryan’s room. His eyes flicked to the doorway, where Ryan stood, holding a glass of water and a trash bag.

Ryan smiled, holding up the items, “So you don’t have to move and I don’t have to carry you.” Setting them down, he saw Matt’s eyes flicker around the room. “I still need to edit and I don’t want to use your shit. Figured I could keep a better eye on you if you were in my room. Sorry if it’s a little weird.”

Grabbing a pillow and hugging it close, Matt shook his head. “It’s okay. Just be ready to wash everything when I leave.”

Ryan laughed, “I might have to burn everything you touch.” Wagging his finger, he put on a stern tone, “So don’t touch anything.” Matt’s response was stretching out, rubbing his hands over the bedspread.

Matt watched Ryan get set up, plugging the flash drive into his computer. “Hey Ryan?” The man in question gave a simple hum. “Why were you freaking out? And don’t say it’s because I’m sick. I’ve been sicker and you didn’t care.” He caught the way Ryan slumped his shoulders just a touch. “I mean, you did care. You just didn’t freak out.”

Ryan waited for the files to transfer back over, eyes following the progress bar. “I’ll, I’ll tell you later. You’re too sick to remember it, even if I did tell you. So don’t worry.”

“Okay, but you gotta pinkie promise me that shit.”

Ryan spun, raising an eyebrow to the man hiding under a thick blanket. Matt moved his hand further out of the blanket. Standing, Ryan crossed the small distance, wrapping his pinkie around Matt’s. “There. I pinkie promise to tell you why you freaked me out when you’re better.”

“Good,” Matt smiled, snuggling deeper into the covers. “Love you, you fucking dick.”

Ryan glanced back to Matt, a giggle bubbling out of his chest, “Love you too, asshole.” It wasn’t exactly perfect, but Ryan was glad for how things were turning out.


	17. Future in Stitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ross learns than he ever thought he would while Barry and Dan talk about things

“Shit,” Ross muttered under his breath as his hand shook, ruining the line he was trying to draw. Undoing the mistake, he tightened his grip around his tablet pen. He needed to get this sketch done before he could leave. The line was better this time, but it wasn’t quite right. “Stop,” Ross hissed out, trying to shrug off the void. It tugged on Ross’ arm and a line went right through the face.

Shifting in his seat, Ross frowned deeper. “Just let me finish lining.” The void released its grip on Ross’ arm, but remained hovering right behind him. He relaxed his face, a question on his lips that came and went in his head like the tides. “How come sometimes you can touch me and sometimes you can’t? And what about the speaking thing you do sometimes?”

“ _We are everything and nothing. We are energy and matter. We are life and death, the soul and the body_ ,” the void whispered in Ross’ ear.

“Yeah, okay, but that doesn’t answer my questions.” Ross took the opportunity while the void sounded static in his ear, “You’re not God, are you?”

“ _Not God, no. We have existed long before the universe was even conceived. We will always exist._ ”

Ross continued lining, watching the void flicker in and out around him. It was almost human at points like this; when it talked to Ross, he could always make out a humanoid presence. “You keep saying ‘we’. Are there more than one of you?”

The void was silent for the briefest of moments, no static at all. It quickly gained the noise once more before it spoke again, “ _I am the one you call the void. I have many names for the ones that know of my presence. Few of you have ever interacted with us directly. The ‘we’, the ‘us’ I refer to is myself and my… twin, if you will. They are the conscious of the energy in the universe as I am the conscious of the matter in the universe._ ” There was a pause as Ross finally finished the line work for the piece. “ _Now, sleep. A man near you needs help._ ”

Ross saved the piece, turning off his computer and tablet. “What happened with him? Can you tell me?”

“ _We were required to bring another human into the… fold, if you will, as a way to prevent the destruction of your world._ ” The void was silent once more as Ross climbed out of his chair, making his way to the bedroom. As Ross got settled into bed, he heard the void whisper one last thought, “ _I am sorry for making you ill._ ”

 

“What’s it like?” Barry asked from his spot on a stool Dan had brought down from the kitchen so he could monitor Barry and his condition. Dan hummed, glancing back at the medical book he brought from a used bookstore for more than he would have liked. “Stitching people up, that is.”

Dan paused, poking the needle into the chicken breast he was currently working on. He turned to Barry, an eyebrow raised. “Do you wanna try or something?” Barry said nothing, moving the stool closer to the cutting board covered in chicken breast with various sutures through half of them. “I can teach you, if you want.”

Barry flashed a grin, eyes sparkling with delight. “I’d like that, thanks.” Pulling a pair of gloves from the outstretched box Dan held, Barry tugged out the needle, careful to not remove the thread from the hole. He watched Dan peel off his own pair, flipping through the thick book and mumbling a few words to himself. Barry caught his eye and smiled, “Glad I’ll be able to stitch myself, instead of relying on you all the time.”

Dan returned the gesture weakly. Looking back to the book, he pushed it closer to Barry so he could view it as well. “This is an over and over suture. Probably the most basic one of all. You’ll be able to get it no problem.” He set Barry to work, watching as his hands shake just a bit. Dan chalked it up to the foreignness of the situation rather than blame Barry’s concussion, blame himself for not being fast enough.

“-And I really wanna try making lasagna one night with like homemade pasta and everything. I bet Arin would have something. He’s really amazing at cooking, y’know. I should get him to come over and make dinner or…” Barry trailed off, his hands stilling. He looked up to Dan, “Do you think Suzy’s okay?”

Dan blinked, snapping back to reality. His eyes wandered over Barry’s face, scrunched slightly with worry. “I’m sure she’s fine. I can call if you want.” Barry nodded and Dan fished around his hoodie pouch before securing his hand around his phone. It rang once, twice, continuing to ring until it ends with a voicemail. Dan pouted a bit at voice, but asked about Suzy and her condition and for Arin to call back when he got it.

Barry watched the phone disappear back into the pocket before turning back to the breast he was working on. While his mood didn’t immediately lighten, he did go back to rambling about his thought on food and dinner and all the thing he needed to try to make to impress his boyfriend. “So I think it’ll be okay, y’know. And I wanna try… Dan?”

Dan’s eyes focused back in on Barry, acting as if he wasn’t thinking about how soon Barry would be able to stitch himself back together at any point, how Barry would grow old of him just like every relationship had before, how knowing each other’s personas would just drive them apart, how he wouldn’t be able to stand Barry in so many years, how Barry would leave. How they all leave.

Dan smiled, his eyes wrinkling at the corners, and Barry could feel his heat pick up pace just a bit. Dan was his boyfriend. Dan loved him and he him. Barry smiled back, his mind a blank void. He leaned up, placing a light kiss on Dan’s lips. “I love you.”

Resisting the urge to laugh or run, Dan ran a hand through Barry’s hair. He hummed as Barry shut his eyes, enjoying the sensation. “Is that what you wanted to say?” Barry hummed, pressing into Dan’s hand. “I-I love you, too,” he said, wondering just how long before it would be the last time he said that to Barry. He stopped scratching Barry’s scalp to look over the sutures Barry had done.

Picking up the chunk of meat with his used glove, Dan examined the stitches carefully. The meat fell from his hand with a thick, loud, wet thump. “Shit,” he mumbled when Barry jumped, tipping on the stool. He tossed the glove to the side, leaning against the gurney. “Good stitches there. I-I think you won’t be needing me in no time.”

Barry removed his gloves, tossing them alongside Dan’s, before wrapping his arms around Dan. Dan didn’t move and Barry chose to bury his face into Dan’s chest, listening to the quiet beat of his heart. “That’s crap and you know it. I’ll always need you. As a friend or boyfriend, you’ll always have a place in my heart. I-I don’t know if I’d be the same without you.”

Dan almost reeled back to stare at Barry. Instead, he just stared at the top of Barry’s head. “How-”

“We’ve been friends for years. We’ve lived together for years. You really don’t think I wouldn’t notice you upset?”

Dan huffed out a laugh, “Thought I had a bit of a better poker face than that.” He carded his hand through Barry’s hair once again, inhaling the low hum that buzzed through the both of them. Time passed as they stayed intertwined. Before anything more happened, the sun dipped below the horizon, taking the last bits with it. “It’s late,” Dan said, his voice cracking from lack of use. Barry hummed into the fabric of Dan’s shirt. “We should eat. I’ll make something a little fancier than white rice.”

Barry pulled away, just enough to press his chin into Dan’s sternum. “You’re not a great cook anyway, so I’m not expecting much.”

Dan smiled the first genuine smile in what felt like too long. “How about some lemon chicken and rice?”

Barry fixed his position, squeezing Dan in a tight hug. “I don’t care. Just don’t leave.”

Dan returned the hug, squeezing tighter than he ever had, “I promise.”

 

The news broke as Barry climbed onto the couch after dinner. He stared at the television as the anchor talked over footage from a helicopter, while circling around a building. Flames poked out of the building, licking at the sides of its neighbors. Another image of a burned V surrounded by a circle was flashed on the screen, the anchor mentioning a signature. Barry turned his head to call back into the kitchen, “Hey, Dan?”

Dan hummed from the kitchen, walking back to the division between the rooms. “What’s up?” His eyes made their way over to the television, the signature flashing on screen again. He bit back a growl deep in his throat. It was just his luck that Doctor Void would be pulling a robbery the day everyone was out of commission. “Oh,” he said. It was short, clipped, angry. He saw the way Barry flinched at the noise and he forced himself to relax.

Barry turned from the television back to Dan. “Come sit with me.” It sounded more like a question than a request and Dan obliged. Barry tucked himself into Dan’s lap, holding him close. “I’m scared,” Barry mumbled out after a few minutes of the news story playing.

Dan, a snarl on his lips, reached down, grabbed the remote, and shut off the television. He debated for a second whether to be strong or vulnerable, real or not. After he came to a decision, he admitted, “I’m scared, too.” Barry’s grip on his shirt tightened just a bit and he could feel their pulses speed up just a touch, aligning with each other. “B-b-but it’ll be okay. Everyone, um,” Dan paused, taking a shaky breath. “He’s gonna get tired of doing this. Trust me.”

Barry said nothing, burying his face into the thickness of Dan’s hoodie. He needed an anchor in that moment and Dan seemed more than willing to let all his fear wash out of him and onto Dan. It wasn’t until Dan was rubbing his back that Barry realized he was crying, soft sobs breaking into the air. “We-we can’t stop him, Dan,” Barry said, slowly relaxing his death grip on Dan’s hoodie. “We couldn’t before. What… Would we even be able if we gathered every single hero in California?”

“That’s a lot of heroes. I’m sure we would. We probably would have, if I had been a bit faster, if I hadn’t been selfish, if I hadn’t-”

“Shush,” Barry whispered. Dan shifted, dumping Barry out of his lap to look at the smaller man. Barry glared at him. “You did the best you could. Don’t you ever think I blame you for what happened.” His eyes softened, tears filling back up, “I don’t want you to blame yourself for doing the best you could.”

“You got hurt because my best wasn’t enough,” Dan whispered, leaning forward and pressing his forehead into Barry’s neck. “It _is_ my fault you got hurt, my fault Suzy almost died.”

Barry took that as his turn to comfort. Rubbing circles into Dan’s back, he began reassuring Dan that nothing could have been done, that without Dan, Barry very well could have died, that Dan’s best kept him alive. A quiet settled between them and Barry was grateful that they could just sit and enjoy each other’s company, their heartbeats one and the same.

Quietly, slowly, they broke apart, a silent promise sewn between them. Dan stood first, stretching as he did. He held his hand out, invitation.

Barry smiled, “Trying to get me into bed, huh?”

Dan laughed an honest laugh, not a nervous or a forced laugh, and it felt like things were normal again for a moment. “You already sleep in my bed. Don’t think it’s too big of a leap to go to fucking.” Anxiety bubbled in his stomach at the thought and Dan shoved them aside when Barry gripped his hand.

“No fucking tonight,” Barry said, steadying himself with Dan. “Or a while. I… I’m in a funk and the concussion isn’t helping my cause.”

Dan placed a hand on Barry’s back, leading him up the stairs. “Good, because I’m not quite sure how okay I am with it.”

Barry stopped at the top, spinning enough to see Dan’s face. He smiled, relaxing at the familiarity of Dan, “We don’t have to if you don’t want to. I mean, I’m more than okay with not fucking, like, for months or whatever. We did just jump into this.”

Dan smiled back, “Yeah. If we could wait, I’d be okay with that.” Barry said nothing, turning back and making his way into their bedroom. “It’ll work out,” Dan muttered to himself, following after Barry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr for questions: [ sumide1711uu ](http://sumide1711uu.tumblr.com/)  
> edit: due to scheduling stuff, i'll now be posting consistently on mondays rather than sunday or monday. see you all next week


	18. Pancakes and Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Barry talk about fears and feelings while Matt wakes alone.

Rain tapped lightly on the window, stirring Dan out of the little sleep he had managed. It wasn’t that it was hard sleeping next to Barry. In fact, Dan had some of his best nights with Barry curled up next to him. That only added to the sleeplessness he felt on the first day of November. Instead of tucking himself away in the basement like he wanted to, Dan sat on the edge of the bed, watching the storm roll around in the sky. Storms had that effect on him, bring a sense of calm with their chaos.

Dan closed his eyes, listening to the storm pound against the glass, the only thing separating him from becoming soaked. His thoughts pounded into him like the surf on a shoreline, picking away small pieces of him over time, changing him. After an almost verbal debate with himself, Dan slumped back down into the bed. It was going to take a long time and a lot of patience on Barry’s part, but Dan could make it work without wanting to rip his skin off.

Turning over, Dan looked at all the minute features he could see on Barry this close. This. This he could do. All the romance and hugs and cuddles and kissing and sharing a space, sharing a bed. That was easy. It wasn’t very different from person to person, or girl to guy. The only thing that had been added in the past week and a bit was kissing and sharing a bed consistently. Everything else was already things they did.

Dan sighed, pressing a kiss into Barry’s forehead when he began to stir. Lifting his head to see the clock, Dan let another sigh slip. It was just after 7 in the morning, the sun still low in the sky. Flipping to his back, knowing he wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep, Dan stared at the ceiling, wondering. Just wondering. Wondering how long he and Barry could last, would last. Wondering when things would be back to normal. Wondering when the  _ thing _ that he had seen 2 days ago would come back. Wondering just how benevolent, or malevolent, it was.

Dan sat up slowly once more as the rain turned into a drizzles, making lazy trails on the window. There were a few beats of stillness, his heart in time with the speckle of rain, where everything felt like it had been a month ago. Where everything was fine. Where he and Barry were just friends, teammates. Where they fought gangs and assailants. Where they weren’t worried about a man who could blow up buildings with his mind. Where he hadn’t almost got Barry killed twice within a week. Where-

Barry stirred, cuddling deep into the covers. He blinked away the sleepiness, enjoying the view of Dan’s back, a small scar running across his left ribs. Reaching up, he ran a hand over the wide expanse of skin, startling Dan at the touch. Not removing his hand as it ran circles between Dan’s shoulder blades, Barry said, “Sorry,” his voice filled with sleep.

Dan forced himself to relax at the touch, letting himself breath out a groan. The only sounds for a while were the rough grind on dry skin on dry skin and Dan’s broken groans as he leaned into the touch, chasing the bliss that came with it. Barry’s hand didn’t drop any lower than his mid-back before removing itself entirely. Releasing a breath he was more than aware he was holding, Dan turned back to Barry. “Thanks,” Dan smiled down to sluggish form of his boyfriend, “Boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend, what were you thinking about?” It came out slurred, but Dan seemed to understand it enough that he shook his head. “Don’t make me parent you. I will. You can talk to me.”

Dan ran a hand through Barry’s bed head, smoothing it where he could. “Just about things. Before all this happened. With Doctor Void, I mean.” Barry reached up, curling a hand around Dan’s wrist, causing him to blink. He could see something flashing under the surface of Barry’s face, but it was hard to pick out  with the grogginess covering most of it. “I’m right here,” Dan whispered, using his other hand to cup Barry’s face. “I don’t plan on going anywhere any time soon.”

Barry released his death grip, mirroring Dan’s position. “I wasn’t worried about that,” he stumbled out, a hoarse whisper. Adjusting the covers in his lap, he stared down at them, unsure of where to start. “I mean, I am. I’m terrified of him. He’s basically unstoppable. B-but that wasn’t what I just thought of.” Sighing, Barry stretched out, his back popping satisfyingly. He pulled back, resuming his sitting position, letting silence creep between them.

Dan was too afraid to say anything, that any noise would cause Barry to retreat back into his mind. So he waited patiently for Barry to form the words and say them. He could wait forever as long as they were close. Dan reeled back at the thought, his heart loud in his ears. ‘Forever?’ It’s a whisper in his mind, a fleeting notion.

Barry blinked, looking up at Dan, who’s staring at the window, humming softly to himself. “Is everything okay?”

Dan nodded, eyes fixed on the glass in front of him. Gripping the sheet beneath him, he gritted out, “Doctor Void.”

Barry crawled over to Dan, planted his legs on either side of Dan’s, and wrapped his arms around Dan’s torso in a hug. “Stop.” Dan made a noise of protest. “Stop blaming yourself. Stop thinking about him. Just… stop. Please.” He was pleading and he would plead forever, until Dan finally stopped. “Please.”

Dan let go of the sheets, smoothing them a bit, before placing a large hand on Barry’s arm. “Sorry,” he mumbled, his head spinning. He could feel Barry press into him, one last silent plea in the tightness. “I’ll try not to worry so much anymore.” “Good,” came out, muffled against his skin. “I-I’m still worried about you, uh, your head.”

Barry focused in on heat, knowing  it would drain him if he pushed to hard. He felt the low hum Dan gave as a result to the warmth spreading through himself. He couldn’t remember the last time he had purposefully set a fire in himself, instead of feeding into it from pulling energy from his ice. He turned his head enough to not mumble into Dan’s spine. “I’m better, but not 100%.”

Dan wiggled out of Barry’s grasp to face him when icy fingertips ghosted his ribs. “Fuck,” he barked. Standing, he whipped to Barry, who fell on his side without the support of Dan.

“Told you.” A yawn escaped Barry’s mouth before he could stifle it.

Dan pulled Barry back into a sitting position, feeling his arms and face after. “You’re really cold, Bear. Like, shit. Should, should I do something about? You’ve always been warm and now…” He trailed off, grabbing his discarded hoodie from last night. Tugging it over his mess of curls, he frowned. “Barry?”

Barry blinked at Dan, careful of the suddenness of nausea and a headache. “Shush. I feel hungover right now. Never happened before.” He laughed, strained and high. “That’s always good.”

“I-I… What should I do?”

“I think I just need some sleep and cuddles and food. I mean, I was able to heat up for a bit.”

Dan nodded, tugging Barry out of bed. “Okay. Well, let’s sit you down on the couch downstairs. I’d be easier for me. And I’ll make some pancakes or something. I need a bit of comfort, too.” Leading Barry to couch was on par with how he thought it would be with Barry swaying with each step. Setting him down, Dan threw a blanket over Barry’s shoulders. “There,” he said triumphant, straightening. “How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“The ice/fire thing. Like how do you pick?”

Barry shrugged, “I focus on heat or cold and my body does the rest. Heat, heat takes more out of me since I’m using my own energy. Cold, I take from things. It heats me up with the energy.”

“I… That makes sense. I guess.” Dan rubbed his palm against Barry’s hair, ruffling it. “You stay here. I’ll make us some stuff and I’ll go get those pills from yesterday.” Dan took a step away before pausing, “It was yesterday, right?” Barry said nothing, burying himself in the blanket, the familiarity of everything. Dan dropped his tone, “Right. I’ll get some ibuprofen, too. Sorry about this.” Pressing a quick kiss to the top of Barry’s head, the only part still uncovered, Dan slid away.

Barry didn’t remember Dan coming back with the medicine and a cup of tea, just remembering holding the half empty mug and draining as much energy as he could from it. Dan stepped into his view and he held the cup out to him.

Dan smiled, “Finished?” He nearly dropped it as it stabbed him with its chill. Biting back a curse, Dan shifted his sleeve to hold it without dumping ice cold tea on himself. “How… Why?” He asked, turning his attention back to the huddled man.

“Too cold. No fire,” Barry answered. His eyes moved back to Dan, “Sorry. It’s cold.”

Dan laughed. “It’s fine. Food’s ready, if you feel like eating pancakes. If not, I can get you applesauce or something.”

“Pancakes are fine.” Barry began unwrapping the blanket around him before tangling himself. He looked up at Dan with pleading eyes, “Help?” 

Dan moved, almost musically, as he undid knots wrapped around Barry’s arms. He straightened, pressing a kiss to Barry’s forehead as he did. “I… Can we talk? After breakfast?”

Barry resisted the urge to scrunch his face as his stomach did the same. Instead, he nodded, following Dan into the kitchen. They sat, Barry pushing the blanket off his shoulders as they began eating. As their forks scrapped along the plates, the tension rose along with Barry’s nausea level. After 10 minutes of otherwise silence, Barry pushed his plate away, burying his head in the crook of his arm.

“Barry?” It’s a whisper, short and scared.

Barry lifted his head enough to see Dan, his brows knitted together. “Just tired,” he mumbled out, placing his head back in his arm. “Can we talk later? ‘M not feeling good anymore.”

Dan placed a hand over one of Barry’s, partially for comfort, partially to read his temperature. Barry wasn’t cold, like the mug, like he had been before, but he wasn’t as warm as he usually self. Rubbing his large thumb over the tendons in Barry’s hand, Dan sighed. “Yeah, we can talk later. I just… I really think we should talk about boundaries and shit, since we haven’t. Not really.” With a deep breath, he continued, “But we will talk later. Do you think you’re okay with staying down here while I grab some stuff from upstairs?”

Barry nodded as best as he could and earned a kissed pressed to his exposed temple.

Dan took a few steps away from the table before looking over his shoulder. He watched for a moment as Barry tensed and relaxed before his breathing evened out. Turning back to the stairs, he climbed them swiftly. He would write new song titles and the questions that pressed down on him when he got back, but right now he needed to find the hidden red notebook.

 

He wasn’t sure what time it was when he woke, just that it was dark and he was alone. Not even the glow of a computer or the hall lights were on to give him company. Throwing the blanket off him, Matt swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He gripped the edge of the mattress to not spin off the bed or throw up on the floor. His head spun for a moment or two before he could get his bearings again. If it was this dark, certainly Ryan had to be around. He had to be.

Matt took a shaky stand, leaning against the wall as he made his way back to the hall. He could feel something help him, lead him along, his heart thumping loudly in his ears. So loud that he couldn’t hear the television running in the main room or his own feet slap across the flooring. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. The hall was tilting and the  _ thing _ was trying to keep Matt steady, he could feel. It pushed and pulled Matt as he wavered. At the end of the hall, where it opened to the rest of the apartment, he finally saw the flickering of the television, heard the chatter of the people in the scene.

Only thing that was missing was Ryan. Lego lifted his head when Matt moved closer, when he shut off the television. His heart sank and his stomach rolled when static filled his head, the fear that he was alone. That Ryan, one of the sweetest guys he knew, had abandoned him like that.


	19. New Faces and Old Troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ross meets the new face in the void while Suzy gets back on her feet.

In hindsight, Ross should have expected this. He really should have. The void had told him someone needed his help, but he never thought he would know the person. No, he thought it would be a stranger. A stranger would have made this so much easier. Ross would have been able to distance himself when he heard the sobs.

The moment the void thrust him into his current location, he knew. He knew where he was. He knew who the void was talking about. He knew what he had to. It still didn’t ease any of the Earth shattering realizations that he now knew 2 other heroes or powered or whatever you wanted to call them. Ross closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and shifted half a step closer to Matt.

“ _ Matt? _ ”

Ross blinked. Okay. That wasn’t his voice. It didn’t even sound human. It resembled the static the void always sounded rather than an actual voice, an actual word.

Matt flinched, clenching the pillow tighter. Shifting back on his left leg, Ross stared at Matt, waiting. It was his fault Matt was like this, screaming and crying, clutching a pillow like it was a life preserver. Maybe if he had been better about helping the void with whatever was damaging it, maybe if he hadn’t ignored the void for so long, maybe if he had done half a dozen other things differently, Matt wouldn’t be sitting on his couch, crying his eyes out.

Ross stood there, watching. He didn’t know what Matt was going through. He got his powers, if you could even call this that, when he was a teenager, not almost 21. Getting powers late wasn’t unheard of, Ross personally knew no one, because you don’t out yourself like that. You never mention powers, not even if you’re 100% sure that they person has them. That’s how he was stuck between a rock and a hard place with Barry.

No. Ross mentally shook his head. He couldn’t focus on what he had to deal with. Right now, he needed to focus on Matt, calm him down, talk if he could. He swallowed, taking a step forward. It was very odd to see the usual happy, teasing man look like a small child, face stained with tears. He needed to do something about that. He needed.

“ _ Matt? _ ” Ross tried again, his voice less static-y, but still clearly not his own.

Matt flinched again before lifting his head slightly. To say he was startled would be an understatement. He threw the pillow out of his lap as he stood. He held his hands up like he was going to try fight the figure, but Ross waved it away, sitting on the floor. Matt blinked once before lowering his arms. Sniffling, he wiped the trails on his face, “Who-who are you?”

“ _ A friend. _ ” Ross wrinkled his nose as best as possible. He really hated the voice the void gave him this time. When this was all over, he would need to ask for a permanent voice when he was in the void. All the voice changes were starting to get to him. Okay, he was getting really distracted. He really needed to focus here.

Matt sighed, sitting back down on the couch. “I could use one of those.” He teased out a feigned laugh. “First, these powers. No, first, I got sick. And then I got these powers, invisibility. How lame, huh?” He paused for the black static figure to say something, but all it did was tilt its head. “I mean, powers are cool. Obviously, you got them. And now I do, too. Late bloomer.” 

Matt leaned forward, pressing his forearms into his thighs. Sighing, he bowed his head, ruffling the bangs. “Shit’s not easy. First, never knew anyone with powers. And yeah, I get that you don’t out yourself like that. But there have been people that have outed themselves and been okay. Whatever,” he said, waving his hand. “Next, I’m a late bloomer. Like really late. I turn 21 in a few months. I can’t be developing powers now. I-I-I have a job and friends and a stable place and, and I can’t lose all that because the whatever, God, decided that I need to be able to turn invisible. It’s not fair.” He laughed the same feigned laugh again, “You know, I-I think it’s why Ryan left, my roommate. Don’t know why he left Lego here. That’s the dog, if you saw him.”

“ _ Matt? _ ” Ross asked. 

Matt shook his head. “No. Don’t talk to me. I-I don’t know what you did, but this is your fault.” He stood, waving a finger at the figure. “I know you have something to do with this. It’s either you or you work for it, it that gave me these powers. That cost me my job and friends and life.” He took a step closer, hovering over the figure. “You made Ryan leave. You ruined everything for me.”

“Matt?”

Ross and Matt spun their heads to the front door. There stood Ryan, two bags in one hand, keys in the other, just staring at Matt.

“Ryan?” It came out as a squeak, wet and small.

Ryan’s eyes moved from his roommate to the black creature on the floor. The bags hit the floor with a dull thud. “What the fuck is that?!” Ryan shrieked, taking a step closer to Matt. “Dude! Why did you let that in?!”

“I didn’t!” Matt protested, shifting closer to Ryan. “It just appeared.” He looked away from it to turn to Ryan. “I swear, man. One second it wasn’t there and then it said my name.”

“Why’d it go?” Ryan stepped until he had a hand on Matt’s arm. “Matt?” It was small and he hated it, but fuck it. He was scared. “What was going on?”

Matt looked back to where the figured had cowered. “I dunno and I don’t know if I like it.”

 

“No. No, I said-” There was a pause where Brian let Rachel talk. “I understand. I- Oh, Danny just walked in. I’ll call you later. I promise.” There’s another break, another point where his head was spinning. “I will be back for dinner. Yes. Listen, we’re gonna work, but I’ll tell him you send your love. We’ll talk more when I’m done. Love you.” He smiled as she parroted the words before hanging up.

Brian sighed, shoving his phone into his coat pocket. The machine in front of him gave a low hum, something expected from all the electricity he was putting into it. Rubbing his hands, he frowned a bit. “Let’s see if you work this time. Don’t want to die again.”

Flicking a few switches increased the hum’s volume and adjusting a few knobs shifted its pitch. Sighing once more, he took a step closer to the beam that bounced back and forth into infinity of mirrors. He was going to give it one more chance this week and then he was going to take a week off, whether it worked or not.

He wasn’t a religious man. Everyone knew that, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t have a prayer in his heart as he took another step closer. It was all or nothing at this point. Either it worked and he would get better, or it didn’t and he would have to redesign the entire system.

He shut his eyes, taking the last step into the beams. It took all his strength to keep upright, the beam hitting directly over his liver. Taking a few deep breaths through his nose, his jaw snapped shut, he knew somewhere in the back of his mind that it was working. Only a little bit at a time, but it was working.

He huffed a laugh, moving out of the beam’s path. It was working. It was fucking working. Now if he could improve efficiency, then,  _ then  _ he would be golden. But that would have to wait. Right now, he needed a seat and some water before he passed out.

It worked, though. It finally fucking worked.

 

“How is everyone?” Suzy asked, spotting Arin shove his phone into his pocket.

Arin jumped, but smiled when Suzy’s face softened. “Uh, everyone’s doing good, I guess. Matt and Ross both got some stomach bug or flu or something. That was Holly, actually. Ross has been in and out of sleep all day, apparently, only getting up to draw or go to the bathroom.” His smile wavered and Suzy picked up on it, her face shifting. “Holly says he’s drinking water, so he’s okay and said she would give him some broth next time he’s up to put something else in his stomach, y’know.”

Suzy nodded, giving Arin space to join her on the couch. He accepted, careful of how tight he squeezed her. “Yeah, that’s good. I’d hate to see him get worse. He’s really Dan-like right now, huh? All work and no time for the necessities.”

Arin let out a deep laugh, which warmed Suzy throughout her body. “Yeah. Yeah, he is. If, if we didn’t have to film some time next week, I might have shut down the office. Everyone’s sick or injured, so there’d be no point in having anyone there. Might be good to give everyone a week, y’know. With everything that’s going on, it’d probably be for the best.”

“Yeah,” Suzy said, burying herself in the heater she called a husband. “Having you around has been great. And not just because you pamper me.” Arin laughed again and things felt like they were back on track. “You pamper me whenever I’m sick. But, um, it’s been nice teaching you about what I do, potion-wise.” A giggle bubbled from her, “Maybe I should make you some potions. Keep you young and spry.”

Arin scoffed, pulling away. He placed a hand on his chest in mock anger, “Are you telling me I’m not spry and young?”

Leaning up, Suzy pressed a soft kiss on Arin. “That’s exactly what I’m saying, ya old man.”

“If anyone needs them, it’s Brian or Dan. They’re  _ so _ old.”

Suzy playfully slapped him before leaning back into the couch. “That’s not a half bad idea actually. I-I could send Dan and Barry some potions to help them and I could make something for Ross and Matt and-” Thoughts ran past at 90 miles an hour and she blinked. “I can’t.” Arin opened his mouth, but Suzy beat him to it. “Because then other people would find out and things would get out of control and-and I can’t.” She shook her head, “I can’t, Arin. I just can’t.”

Arin scooted closer, wrapping an arm around her, “Hey, hey. It’s okay.” He gave her a kiss, “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. And just because you do one thing for someone doesn’t mean you have to do the same thing for someone else.” 

The only sounds punctuating the air were a low hum from Arin and the quiet whimpers from Suzy. Slowly, carefully, they pulled away. Everything was spinning and her head hurt like no one’s business. “Arin?” He hummed a response. “Do you think I should make potions for people? Well, not just  _ people _ , but our friends. Do you think it’s a good idea?”

“If you wanna do it, that’s fine. I think it might help them. I mean, from what I know from Dan, Barry’s doing better, but still has the concussion. I know nothing about potions, but I think you could use like a relaxation something or other. For Ross-”

“You really don’t know potions,” Suzy giggled. “First off, I have like 5 different recipes for relaxation, so  _ I _ would have to narrow it down. Second, if I do this, I’m gonna need your help. I mean, I can move, but-but I can’t go up and down the stairs 20 times getting things.”

“Anything you need, I can get. I, I wanna feel helpful for once.” Arin laughed, running a hand through his hair, “I’ve felt so useless with Doctor Void and the explosion and your ribs and everything and Barry’s concussion. I-I-I can’t help but feel like this is so how my fault, y’know. What if I hadn’t kept Dan around? What if I let him go when he wanted? Would you guys be okay? Would you all be hurt or…” He trailed off, the last word hanging in the air like fog.

Arin shook his head, “Doesn’t matter. You’re getting better and so is Barry. And if these potions help, I will help you every step of the way.”

Suzy smiled, “Thanks. Okay. Step one,” she paused, looking up at Arin, “Help me up. And then we can talk more about things, okay?”

Arin nodded, standing to help balance Suzy as she stood. “Later is just fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 in one week because i forgot last time  
> also might happen again since i'm leaving for a week part way through next week, and idk if i'll be able to update. so there might be 2 chapters on the 10th, 0 on the 17th and then 1 on the 24th. idk. i'll have answer next week.
> 
> enjoy the sad and happy. see you in a week  
> <3
> 
> my tumblr: [ sumide1711uu ](http://sumide1711uu.tumblr.com/)


	20. New Troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ross meets a new possible friend and wreak havoc on Dan and Barry

A growl bubbled deep out of his chest as he paced around the room. “This is all your fault,” Ross spat, his void self sinking into a chair in an otherwise abandoned warehouse far from his life. “Now, I can't talk to him, let alone help him. Why didn't you tell me I knew him? I could have fucking called him instead of traipsing around in the void.”

“ _ We were unaware of- _ ”

“Of course, you were. That's why he's scared shitless, or pissed, or both, probably.” Ross rubbed a hand over his face, or what he felt like his face was. He sighed, sitting up. “I understand that you're trying to help. I get it, I do. But  _ this _ ? This is not how you go about doing it.”

The void shifted as if taking a step back. “ _ Ross, you- _ ”

“I what? I need to go back? I convince him I'm not a threat? Well, it's too late for that.” Ross shook his head, breathing out another sigh. “He and Ryan both think I'm a threat. They're gonna try and attack me if I show up there.” He slumped back into the chair, watching the void flicker for a bit before leaving. Scoffing, he sank further into the chair. “Great. This is exactly what I wanted, to be stuck in some warehouse.”

Standing, Ross instinctively brushed himself off. “Looks like I'm gonna try to get home the old fashioned way.” Grumbling, he wound through stacks and stacks of random boxes, different languages scattered across the boxes’ surfaces. He really hated being in the void; time always passed differently and with these boxes, he sure as hell couldn’t tell where the fuck he was or when he was. “The least you could have done is brought me somewhere I know!” Ross shouted into the emptiness.

In the blink of an eye, he stood in front of the familiar house he had watched so many times before. “Barry.” Ross took a mental step back; he didn’t expect the harsh static to start back up after his own voice spilled out in the warehouse. “Void?” He tried, a static-less whisper pouring from his lips.

“ _ Ross. _ ”

Turning his head, he saw the void figure standing a few feet from him. Ross blinked. The figure was nearly human; it was short, or at least shorter than Ross by a few inches, wild hair that reminded him of himself several years ago, a sturdier frame than he expected, visible fat rolls.

“ _ Ross.” _

Ross took a physical step back. The voice had shifted pitch, higher, much less static than ever before. “Void?”

“ _ Yes. I have chosen this form as it was determined to be less threatening. Now- _ ”

“What are we doing here?” Ross turned back to house. With the way the void was speaking, they should have been in Matt and Ryan’s apartment. This wasn’t right. “What does this have to do with Barry? Or Dan? Did one of them do something-”

“ _ No. Now, listen to me before you go off on me. _ ” 

Ross clenched his fist, facing forward. Something was off about the void, but he didn’t want to immediately point the finger at change in appearance. That was far too easy. No, he needed more time to figure it out.

“ _ Thank you. As you know, Barry is special. At least to you. I know you protect him, look after him, but- _ ”

“I should stop,” Ross finished. He might have promised himself and Barry that he would look after him, but if Matt needed his help more, then he couldn’t say no. He nodded, “I can do that. I can watch after Matt.”

“ _ Stop interrupting me! _ ”

Ross turned back to the void, its figure dispersing into a thick nearly black cloud. To say he was scared would be understatement; he was terrified, paralyzed to the spot. The void was always a almost regal grandfatherly figure; now it was like enraged teenage girl. He swallowed thickly, “Sorry.”

It moved to smooth its hair, or what could be called its hair. Its shoulders slouching, it breathed out a sigh.  _ “That’s not what this is about! Okay?! _ ” Ross gave a quick nod, uncertain of the power the void had. It could bring Ross’ conscious in and out itself, manifest as a being, give Ross a void self; he doubted there was anything the void couldn’t do. “ _ Good. Okay, so the reason we’re here is that you need to learn about Barry. _ ”

There were a few silent beats, a subtle question in the last words. Ross shifted his feet, opening his mouth. “What’s there to learn?” He probed, hoping, praying that it was what the void wanted.

It seemed to smile at him, despite both being nearly featureless. “ _ Everything. You might know him as a person, but we know him as a being, if you will. _ ” It cleared its throat, “ _ Now follow me. _ ”

 

“Dan,” Barry whisper-yelled, shaking the man in question awake. “Dan. Dan, please.”

Dan rolled over, suddenly nose-to-nose with Barry. Taking a deep breath, he moved a few inches away, still breathing in the same air. He blinked into the darkness, not bothering to fumble for his glasses. Starting to sit up, he yawned and rubbed his eyes, only to be pressed down into the mattress by Barry. “Barry? Wha-what’s-”

“Shush,” Barry hushed him, pressing a finger to his lips, which surprised Dan with how well he could see in the inky blackness. “Please be quiet. They’re here. The-the figure. They brought a friend.” 

Dan slowly turned to the corner of the room, but failed to see anything. “Barry, I-” As if on cue, a single figure started to form, slighter darker than the rest of the space. Eyes remaining focused on the figure, he turned slightly, “I only see one. Wha-what do we do? I’m gonna follow your lead here.”

Barry took a deep breath, pressing closer to Dan. “Just, just stay with me until they go away. I-I-I can’t be alone. They gonna  _ kill _ me.” Looking up, he locked eyes with Dan, who reflected the same panic he felt pumping through his body. “I-I-I know I sound, sound crazy, but it’s true. They’re, they’re grim reapers. I know it.”

“Hey, it’s okay,”Dan whispered, hugging Barry. “I’ll make sure they don’t hurt you. I promise.” He glanced down to confirm Barry couldn’t see before looking over his shoulder. Guessing at eye placement, his gaze softened. “Leave. Please,” he mouthed, hoping that the figure and their friend would have the courtesy to respect his wishes.

The figure nodded, gave a bow, and dissipated, leaving a dim light in their wake. Dan let go of the breath he didn’t realize he was holding and smoothed some of Barry’s crazy bedhead. “It’s okay. I got you. Everything is okay,” Dan whispered over and over again as Barry’s grip around him slowly loosened. He could feel Barry’s heart slow into a dull thud against his chest. 

“Everything will be okay,” Dan whispered one last time, his eyes catching something moving in the shadows. The figure gave a friendly wave and he smiled at them. “I know you’re not dangerous. But please stay away.” Dan nodded down to Barry, “For his sake.”

The figure’s shoulders dropped a bit before straightening back out. They gave a nod, saluted Dan, and then clutched their chest, waving a final goodbye. Dan breathed out a sigh, flopping back on the bed. Maybe, hopefully, that would be the last time he saw the figure or their friend, which he had failed to recognize.

 

“Matt, you’re not making any sense,” Ryan cried, standing. “How am I supposed to believe that it was harmful? It looked  _ scared _ , Matt. It looked  _ terrified _ . If it was harmful, don’t you think it would be a bit intimidating?”

“You weren’t there!” Matt countered, taking a step towards Ryan. Poking him in the chest, he snarled, “You. Weren’t. There.”

Ryan took a large step away before running a hand over his face. He hadn’t been around for the whole encounter, but he had seen the end of it. The thing was petrified of Matt and Ryan could see why. Matt was standing over it, screaming, and threatening it. There wasn’t a lot to take from the situation. “You’re right,” Ryan conceded, taking a seat once more. “You are right. I wasn’t there, so tell me what happened.”

Matt huffed, paced around the kitchen for a few minutes before taking a seat across from Ryan. “Okay, I’ll start, but I need to know where you went.”

“I went to the store!” Ryan pushed himself off the table. “We went over this a dozen times now! What more can I say?!”

Matt floundered for nearly a minute before he finally snapped out, “Why?”

The table quickly met Ryan’s forehead as he slammed it against the wood. Groaning, he buried his head in his arms. Had Matt suddenly suffered memory loss as well as a stomach virus that only seemed to be affecting him? Lifting his head to rest his chin on his wrist, Ryan blinked at Matt, “Really?”

“Yes! Why did you leave? Why did you leave without telling me?”

Ryan’s face immediately softened at the words. “So that’s what this is about, me leaving you alone.”

“No!” Matt waved that away, crossing his arms in the process. “It’s not like that. I mean, yeah, it is, but there’s more to it.” With arms still folded, he leaned down and ruffled his bang. “You want the whole story?” Ryan nodded slowly, hesitant to learn the truth. “Well, get comfortable. It’s going to be long.” And so he dove in, explaining everything up and to the point they were; all the experiences he had, the emotions that ran through him, every thought that crossed in his mind, everything was laid out in front of Ryan.

Matt couldn’t prevent the small tremors that rocked his body as he went over his thoughts as he pieced together who the figure was or, at the very least, what it did to him, what pain it caused. “And, and then you came home and the  _ thing _ vanished a-a-and I dunno if it would have killed me if you hadn’t come home. It, it may have seemed scared, but I know, I know,” another shiver ripped up his body as a sob popped of his mouth, “that given enough time, it would have killed me.”

Ryan watched in stunned silence as Matt started to regain his breathing. He huffed out a startled laugh, causing Matt to flinch minutely. “Matt, I-I-I-I didn’t know. You-”

“I what?” Matt wiped a few stray tears, sniffling. “I what, Ryan? I should have said something earlier? I did, but you didn’t believe me.”

“Well, I believe you now. That’s gotta count for something.” Ryan made his way to Matt’s half, pulling him into an awkward hug with Matt’s nose pressed deep into his stomach. “And I know that it doesn’t make up for it, any of it really, but,” he pulled away to look Matt in the eyes, “I promise to wake you if I leave again. Or tell you or something.”

Matt sniffled, pressing his face back in Ryan’s stomach. It wasn’t much, but he wouldn’t have to worry about waking up alone again. He didn’t have to worry about the  _ thing _ again. Things might just turn out right. Pulling out of the hug, he wiped away the tear trails on his face once more, despite the wet marks on Ryan’s shirt. “Thanks.” Clearing the mucus and sickness from his throat, he tried again with marginal success. He gave a shrug and a smile to Ryan.

Ryan returned the smile, his heart becoming a quick thump in his ears. “Of course, you’re my best friend. I love you.” He saw Matt’s smile twitch, something he had picked up of spending countless hours with the man as a friend, roommate, and coworker, so he quickly added, “No homo.”

Matt’s smile expanded, a little force to it. “Love you, too. Full homo.”

Ryan busted out laughing, fussing with Matt’s hair. “Dude, that’s gay.”

Matt laughed in tandem, absorbing the laugh, knowing that it might be last time he heard it. He was already this deep, he might as well commit. “I know. That’s the point.”

The thumping had stopped. It was the first thing his brain processed; either it was too fast or it had stopped at the words that had just spilled from Matt’s lips. Then it was Matt’s face, soft, but clearly trying to hid disappointment. “Oh,” Ryan finally said, his mouth moving.

Matt was already shaking his head and pushing himself away from the table, from Ryan, when his mind caught up. “Sorry,” Matt muttered under his breath as he stood. “I, just forget it, please?” He couldn’t even look Ryan in the eyes and that broke Ryan’s heart just a bit more. “I’m sorry. It was a bad joke and I shouldn’t have said that a-a-and I’m sorry. So if you don’t mind.”

Ryan watched him disappear down the hall, stuck in place. He knew he should have said something, done something. But he couldn’t and now he might have just ended one of the best friendships he ever had. Sighing, he sank into Matt’s seat. What was he going to do now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good news, maybe  
> i can update on the 17th, so expect something then  
> also sorry for this going up so late, i was packing for a trip and got sidetracked and almost forgot, but it's here enjoy
> 
> my tumblr: [ sumide1711uu ](http://sumide1711uu.tumblr.com/)


	21. Calling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A late night is not the best time to talk about regret.

Dan turned over again for the 9th time in as many minutes, facing Barry once again. If he believed the clock, it had been roughly half an hour since Barry had woken him for the figures that had vanished within 5 minutes of viewing them. Sighing, he tucked a stray lock behind Barry’s ear.  He wasn’t sure what he was getting into with this, the figures, a boyfriend, Doctor Void, any of it anymore. He wasn’t sure he could do anything anymore.

“What am I gonna do?” He murmured as Barry’s phone lit up the entire room. Groaning, he counted down from 10. If it was a text or email, the phone would be off by the time he hit zero. He closed his eyes as he hit 3, but the glow still burned through. At zero, he started counting up to 10, but still the phone lit up the room. He knew it could flip the device over and ignore the call, but he also knew the person would most likely try him next. So he huffed and reached over Barry to unplug the device.

_Ryan Magee_

Great. Ryan was calling. He probably had an editing question, Dan knowing all editors went into the twilight hours of the morning if allowed. Debating for a few seconds, he shut the phone off and Dan sighed. He could finally get back to sleep. Well, at least, be in bed with his eyes closed. It never was as good as sleep, but-

The phone lit back up. Stifling a groan, Dan pulled back the covers and made his way out into the hall. At least he wouldn’t wake Barry with their talking. He was doing better over the past days, but he still slept most of the day. Mentally shaking his head, Dan answered the call, keeping his tone even. “Hello?”

“ _Hello? Dan? Where’s Barry? Why do you have his phone?_ ”

Ryan spoke at a mile a minute and Dan had to interrupt to keep his head straight. “Why are you calling?”

“ _I need to talk to Barry. Er, well, anyone would do at this point. It’s just Barry and I are pretty close, so I thought I would try him first, but you answered. That’s fine, by the way. I’ll talk to just about anyone._ ”

Dan nodded, leaning against the wall. “Okay, so why don’t you talk to Matt about this? You guys are pretty close. I… Why are you calling people and-”

“ _That’s what I wanted to talk about. Or who, I guess. We, we kinda had a bump and I don’t know what to do and I mean, I do know what I have to do, but I just don’t know how and I’m looking for advice and I know it’s late, so if you wanna hang up or give the phone to Barry, I would understand._ ”

There was a pause and Dan started to drift, but the slow sink to the floor jarred him awake. “Barry’s sleepin’.” Rubbing his eyes, he yawned. “And so should we. We? Us? So should us?” Dan waved his hand, “Doesn’t matter. What does is sleep. Can we talk about this in the morning? Or should I make tea?” There was another dip in conversation and Dan had half the mind to just hang up, but something, guilty probably, kicked around in his stomach and he waited patiently for Ryan to continue.

With small pauses between the words, Ryan finally said, “ _How do you feel about talking about sexuality?_ ”

Dan took pause. He had given up trying to place a pin on his own sexuality nearly a month after he realized how deep he was in love with Barry. He wasn’t against being romantic with men; in fact, he was actually pretty okay with it. It was the sexual aspect to a relationship that sent him through a loop. But even as of late, it was evolving and Dan didn’t want to heave any time he thought of him and Barry sexually. “Wha-what do you mean?”

“ _I think I might be going through some stuff and I know Barry went through similar stuff, so that’s kinda why I went to him first, but if you’re down to talk, I’d appreciate that. I know you won’t have any of the same experiences,_ ” Ryan let out a forced laugh to ease the tide in his stomach, “ _but if you could just hear me out for some of this-_ ”

“I guess I’m making some tea,” Dan cut in. Ryan went silent on his end, so Dan filled the air as he fumbled through the dark to the kitchen, “You don’t have to ramble about every little thing, y’know. It’s late. I’m half awake, at best. So you talking crazy fast isn’t really helpful.”

“ _Sorry. It’s just, I’m kinda stressing over this. I mean, I might have fucked up things with Matt and, and, and… I just can’t._ ”

Filling the kettle with water, Dan shifted the phone to his other ear, tucking it there with his shoulder. “What happened with you guys that makes you think you had a falling out? You guys are crazy close. Like me and Arin levels or Arin and Suzy levels. I really don’t-”

“ _I think he told me he loves me and I did nothing._ ”

“Oh.”

Ryan barked out a laugh, “ _That’s what I said._ ” He laughed so more, easing into a seat. “ _On a scale from one to ten, how badly did I fuck up?_ ”

Putting the kettle on the stove and digging out a clean mug and some caffeinated tea, Dan thought for a moment. “Did you say anything else?”

“ _No._ ”

“Well, then, I would say pretty bad. But! But that doesn’t mean you can’t fix things. I mean,” Dan let out a nervous laugh. Was he going to admit this to Ryan? He hadn’t even told Barry about it; he hadn’t really gotten a chance. The night it happened was the same one he finally admitted his feelings, then Doctor Void came into the picture and they had been scrambling to stop him and still work on the show and NSP and everything. Barry got a concussion and still had one, so Dan didn’t feel comfortable bring it up now. The only ones that knew, according to Dan, was himself and Arin.

“You can patch things up with someone you don’t have feelings for. I patched things up with Arin, so you and Matt shouldn’t have any trouble fixing things.” That was better. He didn’t say what had transpired, letting Ryan take it any way he wanted.

“ _What if you do have feelings for the person?_ ”

The kettle whistled and Dan blinked. Had enough time really passed for it already to be screaming? He pulled the kettle away, turning off the stove. Shuffling the phone around and pouring the boiling water into a mug, Dan took a moment to wonder why he didn’t just microwave the water; it would have the same effect. “Is this where the sexuality stuff come in?”

“ _Maybe. I guess. I mean, it’s been a while since I thought about it. It was just after we moved out of Mark’s. I,_ ” Ryan breathed out a laugh. Who doesn’t laugh when they’re nervous? “ _I kinda realized that Matt was a bit more than my best friend. But he had a girlfriend, so I wasn’t going to be_ that _gay asshole who forces himself in between his friend and his girlfriend. But then they broke up and I thought maybe I had a chance since Matt had said something about a hot guy. The chance lasted about three seconds because he said ‘no homo’ after it. But, but now he said ‘full homo’ and I… I don’t know what to do or say or anything._ ” Sighing, Ryan adjusted himself on the couch. “ _And I know I shouldn’t really be asking advice from you, Mr. Straight._ ”

“People don’t call me that. Do they?”

“ _Sometimes. I mean, it’s true. I knew people could be like bad straight, hell I was one of them, but you, you took it to a new level._ ”

Dan stared down at the seeping tea; it had to be ready, but he couldn’t force himself to remove the bag. Instead, he took a sip, holding the bag by the tag. “I’m not like that anymore.”

“ _Of course not. But it still hold some water. You don’t think we don’t hear the crazy shit in between shows? Because we do. I do, so I would know._ ”

Taking another sip, Dan steeled himself. Either he would say something about his own interest in men and things would go down the rabbit hole or he would force things back on track. With his mind still foggy with the promise of sleep, he chose the former. “I’m not straight, though. I… I have a boyfriend.” It felt weird on his tongue to say aloud, but no hot wave of shame overcame him nor a twist in his gut. Maybe having a boyfriend wasn’t so bad.

“ _A what?_ ”

“A boy...friend.”

“ _Oh. I… I guess you might know what I’m going through then. At least with the sexuality stuff, but I...I’m not questioning myself. Let’s get that clear. I know what I am and I’m happy with it. I just, fuck. I need advice about talking to Matt about me fucking up._ ”

Dan took his tea to the table. Sitting, he sighed loudly into the darkness. “If you feel the same way, just say that. Maybe say that you were thrown through a loop when he said ‘full homo’ or something. Just be upfront with him. Don’t, I hate this phrase, don’t lead him on. I know that’s not what you’re doing. But… Just be careful.” Dan took a few more sips of the cooling tea, which was cold enough to take large gulps of. “I don’t want either of you getting hurt because you guys don’t just talk things out.”

“ _Dan, I dunno. What if I-_ ”

“What if, what if what if. You’re gonna have a ton of what if’s if you don’t do anything. Just… just listen to me for a moment, okay?” There was a hum on the other end and Dan continued, “You’re gonna tell Matt how you feel. If he rejects you, it’s fine. You’ve been through break-ups before. This won’t be so bad. Just, if he does, make it clear that you wanna stay friends. I can’t emphasize that enough. When it came to me and Arin, Arin thought I was going to leave him and the show and Grumps and everything. I… He didn’t wanna talk any more that night, but the next morning I called him, we talked. Things got better.”

“ _And if he says yes?_ ”

“Well then, I don’t think I’ll be the only one with a boyfriend then, huh?”

“ _Is it… How did you get yours? Your boyfriend, I mean. I feel like if I hear your story, then maybe I can-_ ”

“We kissed,” Dan interrupted. How could he explain that not only did he stitch up people, but that he and Barry were on a team, a hero team? He couldn’t with outing him, Barry, and possibly Suzy. No one needed that on top of the damage Doctor Void did.

“ _That didn’t really answer my question. But you’re not going to tell me the truth, which is probably that you met at a gay club and got a hot beej from him while you both were drunk and then got his number._ ”

Dan laughed an honest laugh. “That’s exactly how it happened, but I got a handie instead.”

Dan could hear the shaking of Ryan’s head as he said, “ _You didn’t need to say that._ ”

“You asked,” Dan countered. It felt amazing to relax, to not stumble around each other. “But seriously, just tell him how you feel. If things get really bad, you can call me or any of us, really. Just don’t call so late.”

“ _I can do that._ ” With a few back and forth goodbyes and reminders, Ryan hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the update for August 14th might not happen because i gotta drive like halfway across america, so just fyi, but there will be more on that when the time gets closer.  
> my tumblr: [ sumide1711uu ](http://sumide1711uu.tumblr.com/)
> 
> also [ design references ](http://sumide1711uus-art-blog.tumblr.com/post/159080480940/all-the-references-i-made-for-my-hero-fic-brians)
> 
> see ya lovelies next week


	22. Weight of the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things never turn out how we think.

“That still doesn’t explain what the hell your problem was back there,” Ross shouted as he paced around the warehouse once more. The void flinched, something that Ross was still getting used to. “Blah, blah, blah, we’re linked. I get that. I understand that’s why Barry’s blue. What I don’t get is the fucking personality change you had before we visited him.”

“ _I told you. It’s an infection, one that someone on this side is causing. That someone is near to here. You are the closest one._ ”

“An infection doesn’t give you a personality change, Void! It just doesn’t!”

The void shifted slightly, turning to Ross. “ _I understand what you are saying, but an infection to you is not an infection to me._ ” Ross opened his mouth, but the void continued, “ _I have only been infected, in the several millennia I have been ‘giving out powers’, a total of three times. My ‘body’ does not handle infections. If we don’t stop the source, I will surely perish._ ”

Ross stopped pacing. How could the conscious of matter die? Wasn’t there a law that said matter couldn’t be created or destroyed? Would that go out the window if the void died? Would the universe start collapsing? Would Ross die? “You can’t die.”

“ _My ‘twin’ has. Several times. As long as one of us is healthy, without infections, the other may perish._ ”

Ross shook his head. That wasn’t right. The universe couldn’t just kill half of itself, let half of itself die. That wasn’t how things go. “How can one of you ‘perish’? That, that doesn’t make sense.”

The void lulled its head back and forth as if deciding whether to divulge to Ross the secrets it held. “ _The personality shifts are just the start. Soon, depending on how rapid the infection spreads, which is astronomically fast, I will become more physical. Eventually, I will consume the infection as a black hole. If that does not remedy the situation, then it will continue to grow until it consumes the whole universe. All the matter will transform into energy, being passed to my ‘twin’, and they will make a new me, a new universe, a new Earth._ ”

Ross slid to the floor, absorbing the gravity of the situation. If he didn’t stop the person causing the infection, the whole was doomed to being sucked into a black hole. He couldn’t do that. How was he supposed to stop one person in the millions that lived in LA? The void said the closest; did that mean the person could be in any of California? The western United States? The United States? The Americas? Just how many people was Ross in charge in terms of the void? “How, how many people do I have to go through to find this guy?”

“ _One. I know who this person is and where to find them most days. However, they do visit a place approximately 135 kilometers from their usual point to residence._ ”

“135… That’s a bit of distance. Do, do you know what they do out there?” Ross leaned against a heavy cardboard box, staring up at the void as it took a seat in mid-air.  “Or is that one of those things you know, you just can’t or won’t tell me? Because if it is-”

“ _They are trying to heal themselves. It has started to work._ ”

Ross nodded slowly. The void didn’t sound too pleased, but that sounded like great news, fantastic even. He rubbed his eyes; he was getting tired.  Sitting up suddenly, he looked to the void. Ross, in the void, was getting tired. “Is… is this another side effect? Me getting tired?”

The void gave a solemn nod. “ _While the person has been healing themselves, I have just gotten weaker. I will not be able to contact you much, let alone bring you in. I’m sorry, but you must find a way to stop them without my help. Seek the one you call Matt. While I may not contact him, he will still feel my influence._ ”

“Wait. You never explained-”

“ _I’m sorry, Ross._ ”

Ross sat up in bed, the sheets tangling around him, his heart a loud _thump-thump_ in his ear. Holly stirred next to him. Placing a hand on his chest, he started to calm his rapid breathing and pounding heartbeat. He felt sweat cooling on his neck as he checked the clock. It was approaching 5 in the morning, too early for him to be awake. Sighing, he snuggled back under the covers, holding tight to Holly. He knew when sleep finally came again, it would be quiet, dreamless, dead.

 

Ryan started at the phone in his hand for a few moments before thinking back to Dan’s advice. _Make it clear that you wanna stay friends_. After the hell he put Matt through, he couldn’t imagine him saying yes to Ryan’s confession. Well, that was fine. They had been friends for years and the crush didn’t deter their friendship; if anything, it strengthened their bond. But Ryan couldn’t imagine his life without his best friend. He couldn’t lose Matt.

Shoving the phone in a pocket, Ryan peeled himself off the couch. It was going to take a while to get over the crush, but all’s well that ends well, so he couldn’t complain. Walking back to his room, he shut off the kitchen lights. Darkness enveloped him until a light flicked on down the hall. Following the light led him right to Matt’s door. Clearly he was still awake.

Ryan stood in front of Matt’s door for more minutes than he’d care to admit. He reached his hand up to knock right as a distant click sounded and Ryan was once again in inky darkness. Swallowing, he turned and made his way into his own room, his own bed. It was almost eerie without some noise to fill the air, whether Lego’s soft snores or Matt’s laugh from the other room as he stayed up late editing. The worst part was the sleep that slowly crawled over him, almost too slowly to matter. Eventually, his mind did stall and sleep finally grabbed a hold as the last thought of the day was wiped from his mind: ‘Why didn’t I talk to Matt?’

 

It was a loud as a clap of thunder from a few feet away and it startled Arin into almost having a heart attack. Letting out a string of curse that would make a sailor blush, he found his way downstairs. Light smoke filled the air, setting off the smoke detectors as well as the cats. Shoving open more than a handful of windows, allowing the cool morning autumn air to mingle with the smoke, Arin looked around for what had made the noise and smoke. It didn’t smell like fire and the smoke was far too thin to be from anything burning besides a small kitchen fire.

Rushing back into the kitchen, Arin stood alone. The stove was off. There were not dirty pots or pans, aside from the ones from the night before that sat in the sink. The kitchen didn’t even smell of smoke, let alone hold a fire. Slowly, he backed out of the kitchen, turning his attention to the basement. Except the basement door was open wide and nothing was coming from down the steps, not smoke, not fire, not even noise.

Easing over to the top of the stairs, Arin peeked into the space. Nothing. That wasn’t right. Suzy had said something about the basement as she got out of bed this morning, but with it being a Saturday and having no other obligations than caring for her, Arin had fallen back asleep. “Suzy?”

Arin waited a moment, then 2, then 10 before walking down the steps. “Suzy? Babe? You down there?” Silence, his stomach tying itself into a large knot. “Suzy?” he called again as he reached the bottom stair. Then it hit him like a roll of quarters in a sock. Doubling over, he tried to wave the stench of lavender from around his face. Lavender is a fantastic scent when you’re not being smothered by it, which Arin was. “Fuck, Suz. What’s going on down here?”

Blinking, Arin wiped away the tears forming. He coughed into his fist, “Where are you?” His eyes stung, his ears were ringing, he could only smell, only taste the purple flower. “Suzy!” Out of nowhere, a hand found a place on his arm. He jumped at the contact, but relaxed as he figured out what it was grabbing him. Smooth palm, callused fingertips, long blunt nails. “Suzy,” Arin said softly, turning to the hand’s owner.

“What are you doing here?”

Arin blinked back the tears. His heart broke ever so slightly at the curt tone; had he done something to upset her? He certainly didn’t remember breaking any rules or promises as of late. Hell, he had been asking about nearly everything he did. Was it okay if he showered? Would she be alright if he went to the store and picked up some things? Did she need anything? “Wha-what?”

Suzy gave him a push back to the stairs, no real force behind it. “You said I could have the basement for today. I...I know it’s only been a few days, but I’m much better. Not all the way, of course, but you don’t need to babysit me. I-I-I… It’s becoming claustrophobic.”

Arin couldn’t stop the guilt the washed over him. He had been so worried about Suzy he never stopped to think about what it meant to her. Taking a step back, bumping into the stairs, Arin nodded. “Okay. I’ll stay out of your hair. Just don’t set off anymore smoke bombs.”

Suzy blinked, taking a step back. “Smoke bombs?” The pair was silent, watching the other, until it dawned on Suzy. “Oh. Oh! Those weren’t smoke bombs. They were something else.”

“So the loud explosion and the smoke that freaked out me and the cats weren’t because of a smoke bomb?”

“Yes.”

Arin ran a hand over his face. He sighed and straightened. “You know what? Okay. That wasn’t a bomb. Fine. I trust you. I’m, I’m gonna just go upstairs and draw or something. You have fun. Don’t burn down the house or hurt yourself.” Leaning forward, he gave the tip of her nose a kiss, causing Suzy to break into a smile. “I love you. I’m gonna come down for lunch and stuff, but other than that, I’ll stay out of your hair.”

Stepping on her tiptoes, Suzy returned the nose kiss. “I love you, too.” Moving back to the table where she had strewn ingredients all over, she glanced back over her shoulder. Arin still stood at the bottom of the stairs. “I’m honestly fine alone. If it’ll make things better, I’ll leave the basement door open. I,” she looked down at the bottles, “I promise to take a break or two that aren’t for food. I’ll come up, play with the cats. It’ll be great.”

Arin broke into a smile. “Okay. I’ll hold you to that. I love you to the moon.”

“And back,” Suzy finished. “I’ll be up when I finish this potion. Does that sound okay?”

“That’s more than okay. See you then.” Arin blew a kiss and Suzy followed after before Arin turned back to the stairs bounding up them.

Suzy watched him disappear before sighing. This was her fourth attempt at this potion; it was last one that had shoot off a blume of smoke and radiated lavender scent everywhere. Maybe fourth time was the charm. Reading over the instructions carefully for what had to be the eighth or ninth time, she hummed softly to herself. The first ingredient, blessed rose water, started to glow a faint, pale purple. Immediately, she stopped and the glow vanished. Had that been what caused the first three failures?

Looking over the page, Suzy wrinkled her nose. Nothing mentioned humming or the dangers of it. Flicking to the page for blessed rose water, her heart caught in her throat. A note, clearly written in haste at the bottom, said, “ _Music while using Blessed Rose Water can reverse its effect as well as disturb any effects of the potion and/or charm._ ”

Her humming had caused all the problems. Sinking into the chair, she let a laugh spill from her lips. How ridiculous was it that humming, fucking _humming_ nearly killed her rather than heal her. Shaking her head and the laughter, she sat up and began working. This time she kept her mouth shut and her thoughts clear. It was going to work this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr: [ sumide1711uu ](http://sumide1711uu.tumblr.com/)  
> designs for the heroes [ click here ](http://sumide1711uus-art-blog.tumblr.com/post/159080480940/all-the-references-i-made-for-my-hero-fic-brians)
> 
> i finished my big bang fic so i can finally focus on other things, so there might be some chapters posted in the middle of the week, which won't count for the weekly monday count, but will still be apart of the story. (so i might post more than once a week, but at least once a week)


	23. Smell the Roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian settles back into his familial role while Ross chats with Holly.

Brian woke far too early in his book for a Saturday. Usually a certain someone would love the extra sleep, but apparently Brian had promised her a trip to the zoo and she was crawling over him to wake him. Glancing at the clock, it was just past 8 in the morning. Letting a sigh spill from his lips, he sat, tossing the toddler into his lap. “Good morning, sweetie.”

Audrey seemed unphased by the sudden jostle, climbing over Brian once more and screaming about seeing the animals. Brian laughed and put her on the floor. She squirmed and tried to climb back onto the bed, but Brian stopped that as he lifted her into his arms.

“Come on, let’s get you dressed and then we can talk more about the animals over some breakfast.” The words flowed so easily that Brian had to pause for half a second. When was the last time he wasn’t worried about money or research or dying? When was the last time he had actually taken off to spend time with his family and not thought about anything but them? When was the last time he was just Brian?

Well, he had gotten the machine up and running. It did seem to work, which meant he was getting better, which meant he had a better outlook, which meant he could focus on other things. Now if he could get to work more efficiently, then he wouldn’t have to use it as often. After that, he would be golden. He could heal himself all the way. He would be able to finally return to his commitment to NSP and Game Grumps and his family.

His family. Brian glanced down at the squirming child in his arms. This was for her. All of this, the planning, the building, the house, the theft, the damage, the death, all of it was to make sure she had a father. That he wouldn’t end up dead before her 3rd birthday. That he could be a permanent fixture in her life. That he could watch her grow.

Mentally shaking his head, he placed her down in her room. “Go pick something and we’ll see if it works for the zoo.” This was the first day in what felt like forever that he could just focus on family. He was going to use all the time he could to escape. He was going to enjoy today.

 

Holly frowned, unconvinced. “Are you sure you’re not sick?”

Ross rolled his eyes, which was futile as the blanket blocked most of Holly’s vision of his face. “I’m not sick anymore, I swear. I just…” He turned over. “Have you ever gotten sick and been sick for such a short time that your emotions are all out of whack because you didn’t have time to deal with the fact you were sick?”

Holly opened and closed her mouth a few times as she thought. Finally, slowly, she said, “That’s very specific, but I know what you mean, yes.”

Sniffling, Ross snuggled into the blanket further. “Well, that’s where I’m at. I’m just a little depressed. I’ll probably be fine tomorrow, so I can still cook for you, if you want.”

Holly took the seat next to Ross. “Oh, honey. We both know you’re just gonna make some mac and cheese.” Suppressing a laugh, she gave his temple a kiss. “But I would love some. As for now, do you need anything?”

“Stay with me?”

Instead of answering, Holly threw an arm around Ross, burying her face in the thick duvet. It was nice. Just the two of them watching some random anime Arin had suggested, enjoying each other’s company. Holly had pushed out the thoughts surrounding the robberies, which was much harder than she would have ever thought, considering Ross’ illness. Part of her thought she would immediately be fawning over Ross like she had many times before, but it was weird. She had been uncharacteristically distant around Ross. Not that he had much besides sleep and draw.

“What are you thinking about?”

It was quiet. Holly blinked, turning to the sick man she called a husband. “Me? Nothing.”

Ross wagged his finger. Under the blanket, however, it looked very much like something else. He let out a soft chuckle, wrapping the hand around his other forearm. “You got your thinking face on. You’re thinking about something. Is it another design?”

Another design. Holly had been thinking of making about redesigning her Nighthawk costume as the back that held her wings was wearing thin. Then there was the issue with one of her gloves fraying because she had caught it on a disk like a fucking idiot. She had also been thinking of reversing the color scheme so it was mainly blue with white strips. Along with the new color scheme, she had thought about maybe using aluminum for the base with a thin sheet of steel to make them lighter while still being usable. And another thing-

“So yes.” Ross spoke softly. Leaning closer to her, he hummed. “What cosplay you thinking about?”

Holly thought for a moment. “A couple different ones. How’s your animating coming along?” Ross said nothing, tugging the blanket tightly over him. “Did you get stuck on something?” Nothing. “I know I’m not an animator, but I’ve known you for how long? I can look over-”

“It’s not Gameoverse!”

Holly reeled back, her face twitching. “Ross.”

Ross flinched at his name, the weight it carried, the questions. He couldn’t deal with this today. He just couldn’t. Not when he had to figure out just who the fuck was killing the void and basically dooming all of humanity. Not when he literally had the fate of the world in his hands and Holly… He loved Holly with all his heart, but sometimes, sometimes she just didn’t seem to understand that he needed time to be alone, to process everything.

Rubbing his face, Ross sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. It’s just, I just… I love you, Holly. I do. But sometimes, I just need to focus on something and it’s kinda hard when you’re asking me a million different questions.”

“It was one question phrased differently,” Holly said, crossing her arms. She huffed out a sigh as well before pushing herself to her feet. “I’m going to make us some tea. I think we both just need to calm down. Maybe you need more sleep. You-”

“I don’t need more sleep,” Ross snapped, his head turning to Holly. He forced his jaw shut. He hated the inky, dreamless blackness that filled his eyes every single goddamn time he tried to sleep. How Dan managed to deal with it, he would never know. Maybe, maybe that was the point.

The void had been a companion to him for years, almost 15 years actually. Never once had Ross thought that he would be alone when he slept. The void had been with him through thick and thin, helping him transition through different periods of his life. Without it, Ross was just Ross. He was just some recognizable Australian YouTuber/animator. Well, that’s what the world saw him as, wasn’t it?

Ross blinked. Holly was still standing there, unphased by his internal monologue. “Tea would be lovely. Thank you.”

 

Ross had finally shed the blanket when a warm mug was fitted into his hand. “Thanks.” He watched her take her spot once more, perched on the end of the couch. “I’m sorry for being such an ass. I… I’m just gonna say that shit has been really tough and it’s not about the show. The show is fine. Fantastic, even. I just…” Ross trailed off, shaking his head. This wasn’t exactly something you explained over a cup of tea with anime playing in the background.

“Is it Game Grumps?”

Ross shook his head again. “It’s not Gameoverse or Game Grumps or us or anyone else. It’s me. It’s something I have to deal with.” Holly opened her mouth and Ross shook his head again, “And no, there’s nothing you can do I really wish there was. I do. You’re so amazing and fantastic and smart and beautiful and awesome and you would give wonderful advice. But… you can’t. Because I can’t tell anyone.”

Holly nodded slowly. The only thing that would make him hide something from her would be a promise. That was the only explanation she could reasonably come up with. “You promised someone you would keep it quiet and I respect that. You… Don’t feel like you have to tell me everything just because I’m your wife. You’re my husband and I don’t tell you every single little thing I do.” She smoothed the front of her shirt as she sat straighter. “It’s good that you’re keeping promises. They’re important.”

Ross nodded. He never promised, or at least didn’t remember promising, the void that he wouldn’t tell anyone what he did at night. Hell, for the first month or so, all he did was talk about the crazy adventures he went on as he had learned what he could and couldn’t do in the void. Everyone, especially adults, simply had nodded and gave him a pat on the back. No one had believed him and he couldn’t blame them. What he had done was impossible in nearly every conceivable way.

Ross glanced up at Holly, who was humming happily over her own mug of tea. Maybe he could focus more on his life and not his void self. It wasn’t that he wasn’t working or living. No, but with all the craziness that the void had thrown at him, the illness, Matt, the potential destruction of the world, his real life, his actual life, had taken a spot on the back burner. He sighed. He could deal with this later.

Right now, Ross was just going to watch a shitty anime and spend time with his wife.

“You have something on your mind.”

Ross blinked, turning his head back. “What?”

“That’s your thinking face.” Holly laughed, “You really think I’m the only one with a thinking face?”

“Oh.” Ross pulled the duvet back over his shoulders. “No. It’s the promise. Do you… Could I… Would it be okay if I called Matt a little later?”

Holly nodded.That had to be who Ross made the promise to. Well, she wasn’t going to press. It wasn’t her place to ask; she had plenty of her own promises. “Yeah, of course. I’ll give you guys plenty of space to talk. Just give me a heads up and I’ll leave you be.”

Ross leaned out of his bundle, pressing a faint kiss to Holly’s nose. “Thanks. I love you.”

Holly mirrored his motions. “I love you, too.” She gestured to the TV, “Do you wanna start again? Or just wait an hour for me to make lunch?”

Ross shook his head, “I can’t follow this. I probably couldn’t, even if I tried to. It’s so… bizarre. Like, I think that guy’s part of a gang?” Ross pointed to someone, who immediately disappeared. “But he also could be a double agent? And that girl? Don’t get me started.”

Holly laughed as Ross continued to point out plot points that he had vague recollection about. Eventually, the episode wound to a close and Ross frowned. Holly raised an eyebrow, getting a shrug in return. “How about I make lunch then? And you can keep yelling about the anime or call Matt. It’s up to you. I’m your wife, not your keeper.”

Ross laughed his loud laugh and felt like things were okay; his mind had shoved the problems with the void out while he continued to ramble about the show. “That makes you sound like you own a dungeon or something.”

Holly wagged her finger as she stood. Taking the mugs in one hand, she brushed herself with the other. “How do you know I haven’t converted my cosplay room into a dungeon?”

“Sex dungeon or regular?”

“Either.”

Ross laughed again. “If it was a sex dungeon, where’s all the ropes and chains and paddles? I was in there yesterday looking for some ribbon.”

Holly froze midstep. Spinning to face Ross, she frowned slightly. “Why couldn’t you have just looked up some reference pictures or something?” Ross rolled his eyes. “Right. It’s never the same. I… Did you move anything?”

“No. I mean, I did, but I put everything back.” Ross smiled. “I didn’t know you wanted to dress as, uh, fuck. What’s her name?” He hummed. “Falcon or something?”

“That’s a Marvel character.”

Ross flailed his arms, “Well, she’s obviously wanted to imitate him! Why else would she have collapsible wings?” 

“Ross, if you wanna fly and not take up a huge amount, you’re going to want foldable wings. Birds have them and they’re nature’s flying machines. It just makes sense.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Ross said. Something nagged at him in the back of his mind, but he couldn’t place a finger on it. Well, either he would figure it out or he would let it go if it wasn’t too important. Unraveling himself, Ross stood. “I think I’m going to call Matt now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr: [ sumide1711uu ](http://sumide1711uu.tumblr.com/)  
> designs [ click here ](http://sumide1711uus-art-blog.tumblr.com/post/159080480940/all-the-references-i-made-for-my-hero-fic-brians)


	24. Stay Strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Barry converse. Ross calls Matt and they have a fun chat

“What do you mean what do I mean?” Dan asked, craning his neck to look at Barry over the back of the couch. “I think I was being pretty clear. You need to stop leaving your underwear lying around the bathroom.”

“Twice, Dan. Twice. And I’ve had a concussion the entire time,” Barry frowned, sitting down next to Dan. “So maybe you shouldn’t be so lax with your accusations, hm? And besides, I picked them-”

“How are you doing?”

Barry blinked before snuggling deep into the blanket cavern Dan had set up. He flinched when Dan pressed a cool hand to his forehead. Cool. Relaxing, a small smile made its way onto his face. He might have been 100%, but he was much better than the day before. “I’m warmer.”

Dan smiled, “That’s good. But, um, that’s not what I was talking about. I was talking about-”

“The Figure, yeah. I know.” Barry sighed. He didn’t have the energy to talk about them or their friend or anything really. “Can we talk about this later?”

Dan frowned. They  _ needed _ to talk about this, but what was a few more hours to already several hours they had been up? Instead of snipping out something, Dan nodded. He heard Barry breath out a sigh, snuggling into him. It was nice to be back to normal. Well, as normal as you get with powers and a boyfriend who’s was previously just your roommate and you thought you were straight and-

Mentally shaking his head, Dan pulled Barry closer. “Can we talk relationship shit then?”

“Sure.” Barry maneuvered to his legs to press down across Dan’s thighs, his right side pressed to the back of the couch. “What did you wanna talk about?”

“Everything?” Dan said with a shrug. Turning to face Barry, Barry’s right heel digging into his hip, he started, “Would boundaries be a good place to start?”

“Of course.”

So they sat there, intertwined with each other, speaking about boundaries and expectations and hopes and dreams and what if’s and their dynamic as a hero duo and as a part of a team with Suzy. They sat and chatted until the sun rose high in the sky and began falling back down. They sat and chatted until they only thing they were saying was “I love you”. Then they sat together in silence, heartbeats as one for several more minutes, drinking in each other’s company.

This? All this? Talking, sitting, being close, just loving each other? This Dan could do. He could do this for as long as Barry wanted. He could do this forever. Even as the word forever still sparked fear and dread in his heart, it was much weaker than it had ever been. He could happily do this forever.

 

“Matt?”

“ _ Ross? _ ”

“Yeah, hey.” Ross sank back into his chair. “I’m calling to check up on you.”

“ _ That’s weird, but I’m doing okay. Why are you checking up on me? _ ”

“Well, a few days ago at the office, Ryan mentioned that you were sick with a stomach thing, I think, and I just remembered that and I thought I’d give you a call. I’m glad you’re doing better, though. It would suck to every editor out.”

“ _ Yeah. Ryan mentioned something about Barry being out and hating how he couldn’t help. _ ”

“Yeah.” Ross sucked in a breath. He could do this. He could talk to Matt about this. He could… He couldn’t do it over the phone. Matt would just laugh and hang up. It had to be in person. “Hey, is there a chance you come over later if you’re feeling up to it?”

“ _ I don’t think today would be good, but we can talk on Monday if it can wait. _ ”

Ross scrubbed at his face, counting the hours in his head. Meeting at 9, it was just past 6, 39 hours or so. The void seemed to have collected itself for the time being, but for how long? “Can you do tomorrow? It’s pressing, but not, like, urgent. The soon, the better, but it doesn’t have to be now. Does that make sense?”

“ _ I can do tomorrow. Did you wanna go to get coffee or something? Ryan… _ ” Matt cleared his throat at the sour taste in his mouth. “ _ Ryan found a cute little place near us, so we could meet there or you could pick me up or whatever. _ ”

“That would be fine. Did you wanna do like, the morning or afternoon?”

“ _ Ross, I’m a 20 year old. You really think I’d be up before noon on a Sunday? _ ”

“How about 1pm then?”

“ _ See you then. _ ”

 

Ross shifted in his seat for what had to be the millionth time as he smoothed his hair. Twisting, he looked over his shoulder to where Matt was fusing with the lid on his cup. It was okay. He could talk, explain some things, maybe help Matt with the transition that came with powers. Powers.

Ross huffed out a laugh. He didn’t have powers, or at least not anymore, not until he healed the void, which he couldn’t do without talking to the void, which had been tied into his powers, which-  He shook his head; he was going in circles and that never helped anyone. Now if he could get Matt out of here and talk with him somewhere far more private, then maybe things would be okay.

“You okay?”

Ross flinched at the words, eyes moving to find Matt’s face. “Yeah. I, uh, just really need to talk to you about something and I kinda don’t wanna do it here in case someone hears or recognizes us.”

Matt pointed over his shoulder. “Did you wanna go back to my place then? Ryan said he was gonna go out and probably won’t be back before we finished up, so…” He twitched when Ross moved smooth his hair again. It wasn’t that Matt was afraid; Ross couldn’t fire him or Ryan or anything similar. But the fidgeting and nervous ticks, more apparently than ever, sent his stomach through a loop.

“You wouldn’t mind?”

The words, the tone, the pleading look was too much, too weird, too uncharacteristic and Matt took a step back. “Yeah. What’s this about?”

“I,” Ross glanced around before leaning close, “I know what happened. I know why you got sick.”

A flash of panic burned through Matt. How did he know? Who told him? Matt never said anything. The only people that really knew where that  _ thing _ and Ryan. Matt’s hands curved tightly around his take-away mug. “Ryan told you,” he snarled.

Suddenly, everything in in his mind was racing. When had Ryan told him? Why had Ryan told him? Why Ross? Why not Barry or Arin? He was closer to them than Ross, not that he wasn’t friends with everyone at the office. Ryan was a great friendly guy who had a bit of weird humor, but fit in amazing everywhere. There seemed to be no one that didn’t like Ryan. Ryan was amazing and funny and handsome and a fantastic friend and-

Matt sighed, taking the seat across from Ross. “He told you. What do you think? I mean, I’ve already been outed. Why not just let the whole world know, y’know?”

“Matt? Are you okay? Do, do we need to go somewhere more private? I mean,” Ross leaned over the table, “I don’t want to out you.”

“Why not? Ryan already did that for you!”

Ross stood, took Matt by the hand, and led him out of the cafe. After a few minutes of silence besides the taps of their feet and the quiet crowds that flowed around them, Ross let go. He paced himself with Matt. “Ryan didn’t out you.”

Matt stopped. Ross blinked, doing a half turn to look back at the frozen man. “Wha-what?” Ross shrugged and motioned him forward. Taking a few steps closer, he shook his head. How could Ross know? Wait. Did he accidently out himself? He tried to retrace his steps, but Ross never said what made him sick. He hissed out a quiet “fuck” and adjusted his grip on the paper cup. “Ross, you can’t tell anyone. I can barely deal with it myself. I don’t need a bunch of people fucking swarming me with questions and-”

“No worries. I get it. I’ve been there.” Ross took a deep breath and held it. Sighing, he moved a hand through his hair to fix. “I know you must think I’m crazy with all this, but, um, I was there. I get it. I really do. The weird shit you get to deal with, trying to come to terms with, with all of it, talking to people and having them think you’re crazy or having them question you relentlessly about what you  _ actually _ do and not just some sort unprovable shit. It…” Ross breathed out a laugh. “It gets tiring and eventually you don’t bother.”

Matt nodded. Nursing the coffee in his hands, his mouth moved to say something, but nothing flowed, everything getting caught in his throat. He cleared it in hopes for words or maybe the vaguest idea of words, but all he got was a sideways glance from Ross. So they fell into step, silently marching to their own pace.

Ross, always the one to fill in space, fill in dead air, said, “I know it’s overwhelming,” and he flashed a smile to Matt.

Matt returned it, a question pooling on his lips. “When did you first learn about your powers?”

Ross thought for a moment, remembering the week of hell he endured, the pain, the aches, the running nose, the sore throat, essentially a week long head cold. He smile fondly at the sweet relief the void gave when he fell asleep that chilly August night. “I had just turned 15. I… Nevermind,” Ross waved away the look Matt gave him. “I was gonna talk about the week of being sick I went through when they first showed up.”

“Man, that sucks. I had, like, two days of throwing up and then I was okay. Did you throw up too? Or is that unique to me? Wait. Do you know anyone else who has powers like us? Will I be am to tell when someone close to me gets powers, too now? Or is that a you thing? What are your powers?”

Ross hummed. Sorting all the questions, he turned, heading into a park. “You should sit for this.”

Matt happily followed after. He didn’t have to be mad at Ryan and he got someone to talk about powers and living with them and maybe Ross knew someone else and then they could all talk and-

“Matt.”

Matt blinked. Ross patted the space next to him on a stone bench. Okay. Just how bad was it?

“I’m gonna answer your questions to the best of my ability and then I need to tell you something.” Matt nodded, taking a large gulp. “No. I didn’t throw up. I had a really bad head cold and I think everyone has a unique experience getting their powers since no one has the same powers exactly, y’know? And,” Ross drank some of his own drink, letting him think, “I don’t know anyone else with powers.”

Ross took a deep breath and then a second one. He was really going to tell someone after all these years. It was going to happen.

“Ross?”

Ross glanced at Matt before his eyes moved to something else. “I’m sorry. I-I-I know what happened a few nights ago. With, with the figure in your apartment.”

“What…?”

“I know about you crying, you needing a friend, you screaming. I know.”

“How do-”

“I know because I was there. I’m the figure.”

Matt froze, all his reactions jumbled. He hated the figure, hated what it did to him, but that wasn’t Ross. Ross wasn’t some deity that granted powers to any unsuspecting person. Ross was just a guy who seemed to have gotten roped into this powers thing as much of him. Ross was just trying to be a friend. A friend Matt could really use right about now. With all the chaos with his new powers and figuring them out and dealing with Ryan’s not so subtle rejection, he could really use a friend.

“I still need a friend.” Matt looked up at Ross. “If you’re still willing.”

“Of course,” Ross patted Matt’s knee. “I’m always willing to talk.”

“So, what are your powers like? I mean, you already know mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr: [ sumide1711uu ](http://sumide1711uu.tumblr.com/)  
> designs [ click here ](http://sumide1711uus-art-blog.tumblr.com/post/159080480940/all-the-references-i-made-for-my-hero-fic-brians)
> 
> i forgot to update yesterday, so have 2 chapters (i planned on releasing this sometime this week anyway, you guys just get it early)  
> also i'm about 10 or so chapter until the end. i got about 3 or so done and i'm getting really close to the end so look for that  
> i'm also gonna start another fic, much smaller this time, so it won't take me 8+ months to do it.


	25. Back Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get back to normal. Well, as normal as things can get.

It had been a week because Brian had promised himself that,  _ his family _ that. But it was a fucking horrible and frustrating week. Not that he would have taken it back for a second. As bad as it was, it didn’t outweigh all the joy that came from it.

Saturday. Saturday had been fun, fantastic, peaceful. He had finally been able to keep the thoughts of the machine and illness, well, death as it were, for more than a few minutes and he was able to catch up on so many moments he felt like he had lost along the way of doing NSP and handling the Game Grumps social media and Grumping on occasion. He got more family time than he had gotten in the past 3 weeks combined. Man, had Brian missed ignoring his next death as it loomed over him or what? 

Sunday. Sunday came with its own challenges. Sunday had been his lowest point, feeling even lower after the high he was riding from Saturday. Sunday Audrey caught a terrible cold and Brian took it upon himself to maker her feel better. Not that you can really make a 2 year old with a cold feel better besides baths and Vick’s vaporub. But he had stayed up with her as she screamed and cried and possibly woke the neighbors until the sun was rising and it was Monday.

Monday. Monday was a good day. He was back at the office, working on this and that. His schedule was lax as the only people that seemed to be half coherent enough to working where Vernon and Arin, who was a skittery as a cat in a new home. Of course, he remained his usual self; he would deny that he was easy on anyone that day, especially Arin. Even as the day wound down, he felt himself smile at the lightness in his life. He had a sense of control back in his life. He had his life back.

Tuesday. Tuesday was a middle of the road type days. Nothing chaotic happened, but nothing particular good happened. Dan had shown his face in the office for just enough time to record one session before he was back out the door, which Brian tried to push out of his mind.

Wednesday. How would he even begin to describe Wednesday? It was chaotic. Matt and Ryan were back to record and they fought on just about everything and it ended up so bad that Arin actually had to step in between them so they didn’t throw punches at each other. Brian had watched as a frozen observer, feeling like he was watching a trainwreck in slow motion. Even at one point, Dan, who had come into record a single session, was roped in when Ryan had cornered him to talk about things and Matt started throwing out accusations that it was Dan Ryan was in love in with and dating. Dan ended that quickly when he blurted out that he was dating Barry and not Ryan after several attempts to defuse the situation. Ducking away, Brian followed after Dan. They talked about that and half a dozen other things before Dan seemed back to normal.

Thursday. Thursday had felt pretty meh after the hell that was Wednesday. Barry had made an appearance with Dan and they had spent most of the day glued to the hip, such that Barry sat in Dan’s lap while he and Brian worked on an NSP writing session. At least Barry was quiet and even fell asleep at one point. It was a good day. The fighting of yesterday had dissipated into nothing stilted banter, but they seemed to have made up enough that they didn’t seem to want to fight every single time they were in the same room.

Friday. Friday was easily the best day of them all. Being last day of the week, he managed to get out of the office a few hours earlier and drove to his lab. It was great to break away from all this, to focus back on his family and NSP and Grumps. But this? He couldn’t stop himself from rushing to run calculations and redesign the components to get more from the little power he got from the garage outlets.

But it was going to work. It would be a bit bigger, far better, more than enough. It was going to cost a pretty penny to reorder half a dozen parts he needed to make it work.

Brian rubbed a hand over his face. He needed more money, which meant one thing. He fumbled around for his phone, pushing aside more than a dozen blueprints and a stack of calculations. Finally after what felt like an hour, his hand secured around the device. Dozens of messages from whoever, none too important or too pressing that he couldn’t ignore them as he typed away on the keyboard. A few minutes later, the device happily chirped at him.

_ sure _ popped up on the screen. Brian grinned, too many teeth in his mouth. This was going to be good.

 

Brian had chosen an earlier time, or later, depending on how you looked at it. But it was roughly 15 past midnight and he was walking to the vault. It didn’t look different from anything he hadn’t already faces and he cracked his neck as he tilted his head. Something felt off, like somehow the bank knew he was going to be here at this time on this day. He ran a hand over the thick front. Nothing. He couldn’t feel anything. It was just solid steel.

Well, this would be easy then. This was the fifth time in 2 weeks. He was really getting better at this. Part of him was aware of the silent alarm he tripped a few minutes ago, but he didn’t really care. All that was standing between him and salvation, freedom to get his life back, was this good.

Pushing on the door, it moved under his touch as if it was a thin fabric. He pushed and pushed and pushed until nothing stood in his way. Finally, he stepped inside. The wall was thick with more than a dozen’s dozen deposit boxes.

What happened next was a blur. First the alarm actually kicked up, blasting in his ears. Then he dropped his container of hydrogen and it broke, exploding in his face. Then he was running back to the truck, empty handed and shaking. It wasn’t until Ryan was talking to him that his brain focused back on everything.

“What did you say?” It came out a squeak and Brian immediately hated how small he sounded and felt. Ryan glanced back at him, repeating himself slowly. Brian shook his head, “Things that could have gone wrong did. I’m sorry about it.”

“What are you apologizing for? I know that sometimes shit goes sideways and you can’t blame yourself for it.”

Brian nodded as he climbed into the empty passenger seat at a red light. “I know. But I’m just gonna have to do it again and wake you and Matt up with this shit again in a few days.”

“Yeah, how’s the whatever you’re doing going?”

Brian shrugged. It was “Middle of the road.” On one hand it worked, which is amazing and wonderful and great. On the other hand, it wasn’t working fast enough. While whatever was killing him seemed to have let him live for the week, he knew it was only a matter of time before he was back to dying and trying to fix himself. Before he was dying for the last time.

Ryan  gave his shoulder a squeeze, something that had been an unsaid sign of a job well done from Brian. “I mean, you’re making progress on it.”

“But not enough quick enough. I need to get more money and redo half a dozen different components to make it better.” Brian shrugged off the hand resting on his shoulder. He leaned back, shutting his eyes. “Just take me home. I’ll give you some gas money tomorrow, since it’s technically Sunday now.” He opened one eye, glancing at the radio clock. “For over half an hour.”

Ryan sighed. “I can do that.” He  _ could _ . Easily. He didn’t want to though. After the explosion Wednesday, he and Matt had made up enough that they could tolerate each other and it broke Ryan just that much more. But he stayed strong, stayed in his lane, and didn’t let it show how much it hurt. How much it hurt that Matt was scared Ryan would out him, could out him.

A right turn here, a left there and Brian’s house came into view. Stopping at the end of the block like he had always done, Ryan took in Brian. He was frowning, the moonlight highlighting all the wrinkles, but there was something deeper than just losing money from the botched robbery. Something that no one else knew, that no one else was told. “Take care of yourself, Brian.”

That seemed to have jolted Brian out of whatever deep thoughts were spiraling in his head. He turned to Ryan and gave a soft smile, squeezing his shoulder in the same way he had not even half an hour ago. “You too. And talk to Matt.”

Ryan rolled his eyes, pulling out of the grip. “Easier said than done.” He huffed, folding his arms across his chest. “And don’t try to give me advice. I took some from Dan and well, you were there Wednesday. You know the shitshow that came from it.”

“He means well.”

Ryan sighed, leaning forward and pressing his forehead to the steering wheel. “I know. But I… I feel like I keep fucking up everything and soon Matt’s going to explode again and yell at me for doing something I didn’t and then… then whatever we have will be over. Supermega, our friendship, whatever hope there was of a relationship. All of it gone in a second.”

“Talk. To. Him.”

Those were the words Brian left with him as he climbed out of the car. Frozen, he watched Brian walk, well, it was closer to limping, back to his house. He wondered aloud just how badly Brian had failed as he struggled to get his keys into the lock. But he managed and gave Ryan a little wave from his porch.

‘Talk to him. Talk to him. Talk to him.’ The words played on repeat in his head as he drove. It wasn’t back to their apartment. Ryan didn’t feel ready to face Matt if he was still up. So he flexed his wrists, the plastic of the steering wheel squeaking under his grasp, and just drove. He drove and drove and drove until he nearly ran out of gas.

It was nice, he decided as he filled the tank at a eerie, vacant gas station, the store locked up tight. It was nice to break away from things and let his mind dissolve into static as he drove around town. Quietly, he finished and slid back into the driver’s seat. It felt so odd to be back here, behind the wheel, with no one beside him. For months, it had been Tim, a man that didn’t look unlike himself if he had a beard and black hair. Tim had been a weird sort of friend that Ryan wish was next to him, talking to him, being there for him.

But it had been close to 3 weeks since Tim had gotten arrested and gave Ryan the keys to the van permanently. Staring down at them, part of him wondered what would have happened if Tim hadn’t gotten arrested, if Ryan hadn’t dragged Matt out of bed. 

Ryan shook his head, slotting the keys into the ignition. It’s quiet on the drive home, unnerving to the point that Ryan flicked on the radio to drown out the thoughts pressing into him. He sat and looked at their building. It wasn’t any different. Nothing was any different. Their relationship wasn’t any different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr: [ sumide1711uu ](http://sumide1711uu.tumblr.com/)  
> designs for the coustumes and such: [ click here ](http://sumide1711uus-art-blog.tumblr.com/post/159080480940/all-the-references-i-made-for-my-hero-fic-brians)


	26. Hiatus Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiatus again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so it won't be a month long hiatus, but after august 14, 2017, i'll be busy with the start of classes, so i won't be able to update every monday, but i plan on releasing a chapter a week still. (it might change to thursday since that's my free day)  
> as always  
> my tumblr: [ sumide1711uu ](http://sumide1711uu.tumblr.com/)  
> designs for the coustumes and such: [ click here ](http://sumide1711uus-art-blog.tumblr.com/post/159080480940/all-the-references-i-made-for-my-hero-fic-brians)

..........


	27. Something Just Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan deals with things and talks to Brian and Arin

Dan crawled into bed, the weight of the last robbery pressing on him from all sides. He was so far the last time; how could he be so stupid and let Arin talk him out of going? He needed to be there. If not to fight, then to just stand around and watch. Hell, he could have just been in his civilians. No reason to be a hero in costume if he couldn’t fight.

A sigh passed his lips, forcing himself to relax with Barry pressed into his chest. He could go through all the details in a news report tomorrow over breakfast. Right now, it was just past 1 in the morning and he had promised Brian that they could go over some new titles and see if they couldn’t pull out a new song or two. Stretching, Dan pulled the smaller man closer. Right now all that mattered, all he could focus on was Barry. He had been doing so much better over the week and half of recovery and Dan couldn’t help but feel proud of him. It seemed like a long road until Barry was back to 100%, but being at about 60% after a week and half, Dan knew he could stand with Barry.

There it was. His heart thumping loudly, quickly in his ears. His stomach twisting into knots. His head spinning in circles. Almost immediately, Barry stirred next to him and everything vanished. The thought of being with someone, one person forever was panic-inducing, but when he focused on Barry, being with Barry, it wasn’t hard. It wasn’t easy either, but they had been friends for  _ years _ and Dan had almost been a part of Game Grumps for 3 and half years, longer than his longest relationship. If Dan had to pick one person to be stuck to forever, then he wouldn’t mind it being Barry.

 

Brian looked up at Dan when he flopped down on the couch next to him. “Where’s Barry?”

Dan lifted his head, his hands still moving through his notebook. “At home. Why?”

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Brian stared at Dan. “Really?”

Dan shrugged, “I’m not his dad or anything. I’m just his boyfriend.” Dan swallowed the acid that touched the back of his throat. He had thought he was over this, this being attracted to men, being a man’s boyfriend, but apparently he still had a way to go. “And besides he can take care of himself.”

“He couldn’t Thursday,” Brian deadpanned, shuffling the papers on the coffee table into a manageable stack. He caught the frown darting across Dan’s face before he curled into the back of the couch. “What’s with the frown? Usually, I’m the one that scowls and it’s usually at you.”

“I’m worried, okay? He’d been doing better the past whatever, but today, this morning it felt like all the progress he made vanished.” Dan shifted deeper into the couch, trying to find that last page he needed. He shoved the notebook into Brian’s hands. “Here’s my list.”

Brian stared at the notebook in his hands before looking up to Dan. Even after almost 8 years of knowing each other, Brian still on occasion had trouble matching Dan’s face and his emotions. Setting the notebook on the coffee table in front of him, Brian flipped through his own. “Here.” He resisted the urge to wrinkle his nose at his own curt tone.

Dan pulled the notebook into his lap, staring at the words in front of him. At least half of them were parentheticals and the other half were actually pretty decent. Not that he could tell. The words blurred and spiraled and morphed and, well, honestly? They were giving him a headache. He rubbed his eyes behind his glasses, trying to fix them. It didn’t help. If anything, it made it far worse.

Dan nearly jumped out of his skin when a hand found its way onto his shoulder. Turning to the owner, he could see Brian had already started to mark which ones were good, okay, and bad. “Dude, don’t scare me like that.”

Brian’s face twitched into the beginnings of a smirk. “Then I’ll have to find some new way to scare you. Oh, what shall I ever do?” He got a light laugh and a “ _ dude _ ” and he released his grasp of Dan’s shoulder. “But seriously, if you can’t do this today, that’s fine.”

“No, no. It’s fine. I’m okay.” Dan  bent back over the notebook, chewing on his pen.

“Daniel.”

Dan hated that he flinched like he did when he was about to be scolded. “Brian.” Dan marked one of the parenthetical titles as okay before his eyes darted to another place on the page.

“I’m taking you home.”

“Brian, I said I’m fine.”

“You just marked possibly the worst one as okay,” Brian said, pointing the the page.

That got Dan to focus. Out of all the parentheticals, which are notoriously bad, it was one of the weirdest and hardest to make a song from. “Okay,” Dan said, writing over his okay mark with a bad mark, “So I’m not 100%, but I can still do this.” He stared down at the next one in the list, another parenthetical. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought Brian had been purposely writing bad song titles to try and cheer him up.

Brian sighed, reached for the notebook, and pulled it away from Dan, who gave only a little “ _ Brian _ ” as the notebook was swiped from him. “Danny,” Brian said, trying to keep his tone light. “It’s seriously no big deal if we can’t-”

“We need to.”

“No, we don’t.” Shutting the notebook and placing it on top of Dan’s, Brian turned to Dan. “I’m taking you home. Being around Barry will calm you down.”

“But-”

“You’re worried about him. I honestly don’t know why we didn’t just do this at your place.”

Dan broke into a smile, “Because you got a dog.”

“Well, I can’t bring Coco there, but you could have brought Barry here.”

Dan huffed a sigh, “Yeah, but you didn’t seem to like it when Barry was with me Thursday.”

Brian wagged his finger, “That’s not true. I liked him hanging off of you just fine. Despite my outward appearance, which honestly you should know to doubt by now, I thought he helped out you a lot. You weren’t nearly as jumpy as you were… What was it? Tuesday and Wednesday?”

“Well, yeah. I didn’t have to worry about him getting  _ another _ concussion and dying.”

Brian stood, brushing himself off. “I guess it’s settled then. We’re taking this session to your place.”

 

“Dude, are you okay?”

Fuck. He was jumpy, huh? Dan turned to Arin. “Yeah, of course dude. Just not used to the Sunday sesh.” He wiped his hands on his jeans. “I’m fine,” he flashed a shaky smile, “Don’t worry.”

Arin rolled his eyes, flopping down next to Dan. “Dude, no, you’re not. Like,” Arin sighed, “Something is still up with you. I know you were freaked out about Barry, but he’s just taking a nap on the couch out there. He’s going to be fine.”

“Arin,” Dan said, eyes glued on the television as Arin messed with his microphone to set up for the session. “It’s not about the concussion.” Arin paused before turning around. Running a hand through his hair, Dan continued, “It is about Barry, but it’s not the concussion. It’s about  _ us _ . Like I, uh…” He looked up at Arin, the man he shared a kiss with, the man that had been in love with him.

“Dude, if you think you’re gonna offend me or something talking about your relationship with Barry, then you can get offended when I talk about Suzy.”

“But she’s your wife!”

“And he’s your boyfriend!”

“That’s what I’m talking about!”

Arin ran a hand over his face. “I thought we talked about this, like, a week ago. You’re not attracted to me. That’s fine. I don’t care. I did before, but I don’t anymore. It’s like me getting jealous over a girlfriend you had or something. Just because I was doesn’t mean I get to act on it.” He reached over and patted Dan’s knee. “Dude, I’m just glad I don’t have to meet someone new. You know how I am about new people.”

Dan blinked at the hand rubbing loose circles in his knee. “Yeah,” Dan said, mesmerized by the hand, “but-”

“No buts, Daniel. You’ve been able to talk about your relationship shit before, so don’t think it’s changed just because you’re dating a dude and also kissed me.”

Looking up at Arin, Dan furrowed his brows, “You really aren’t upset about that?”

Arin huffed out a laugh, a smile teasing on his face. “I mean, I  _ was _ kinda upset about not getting a better kiss, but I’m not gonna try to sabotage your relationship with Barry. You guys are great for each other.” Arin leaned back, the smile growing wider. “I still can’t fucking believe you’re Lumino.”

Dan let giggles flow from like bubbles from a shaken soda. “You’re never letting that go, are you?”

“I’m sorry I think it’s super fucking cool that  _ I _ , Arin Hanson, know who Lumino is. Like, what if you didn’t have powers and I did and you knew who I was? You would be freaking out, guaranteed.”

Dan’s mind flashed back to when he had been outed by Barry. It was chaos. Lots of yelling back and forth and screams of promises. Freaking out definitely described what had happened when he had been outed and learned about Barry. But so many wonderful things had stemmed from that. He got a partner in Barry and one in Suzy after a few months. After an awkward dance while he stitched up Barry, he got a boyfriend from it, too.

Wait. Suzy. “How’s Suzy?”

Arin gave a shrug. “She’s been good. Said her ribs are almost healed, but I dunno. I’m not like doubting her, but I’m just worried. Like what if the potion wears off and she’s back to square one or something?” He let out a nervous laugh, “Guess that’s how you feel about Barry, huh? That everything’s gonna be back to the beginning.”

Dan’s eyes moved back to television. “It feels that way. He hadn’t had a headache or dizziness since Friday, but then this morning… It’s like it came back with vengeance.” Shrugging, Dan leaned back. “I know I shouldn’t worry so much. I’m only his, um, boyfriend, so I shouldn’t be-”

“Dude.” Dan shrugged. “Dan, I’m worried about him. Almost as much as I am about Suze. You’re totally allowed to be worried. Don’t worry about worrying too much.”

“I just feel like I’m suffocating him or something. And then there’s being boyfriends. Which granted isn’t any different than me calling a girl my girlfriend. I just…” Dan turned to Arin, biting his lip. “Did I jump into this too quickly?”

“Dating Barry or calling each other boyfriends?”

“Both,” Dan said with a shrug.

“If you feel like it’s too much, then talk to Barry.”

“But-”

“Concussion or not, he’s going to respect you and your boundaries.”

“But-”

“What did I say about the buts?” Arin raised an eyebrow and Dan bowed his head. “That’s what I thought. Now, I’m not in your relationship, but I know both of you pretty well. I’m just going to say my piece and then you can take it whatever way you want.” Dan gave a nod, staring at the floor.

“Okay. I know you. I know that this is your first relationship in a good long while that you have called a relationship. Before it was just a couple of dates or whatever. And I know this is your first boyfriend ever. And so does Barry. If you need to take a break or take it slower, then he’ll understand.”

“But… But I don’t know if I want to take it slower. Like,” Dan sighed, “it probably sounds weird, but I like where we are. It’s weirdly familiar. But at the same time-”

“It’s terrifying?” Arin supplied.

Dan breathed out a laugh, a smile teasing on the edge of his lips, “Terrifying is a good word for it. But, but it’s a different kinda terrifying than like it was with an ex when we had hit a year or something. We haven’t even hit 2 weeks, but it feels like a year or 2 or 3. I just… Shit, Arin. Was it like this for you with Suzy?”

Arin blinked. He tried to think back to when he had first met Suzy, but she had been such a big part of his life for so long he could only remember the time before Suzy and anything after blurred together. “Maybe,” Arin finally said with a shrug. “I don’t really remember like the few weeks after I met her, but it had felt like we’d known each other for forever. But me and Suzy are different than you and Barry. You guys had known each other for  _ years _ before you started dating.”

“Yeah and I had girlfriends like that. But it was never like this.” Dan stretched out, sinking into the couch. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Talk to him.”

Dan gave a half attempted shrug. “I can. After the session.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is going out so early, but we gotta hit the road and i obviously can't update while i drive, so here's the next one and i'll try to get something out earlier in the week next week, but classes start next monday, so it might be hard to get it out on monday
> 
> anyways, as always,  
> my tumblr: [ sumide1711uu ](http://sumide1711uu.tumblr.com/)  
> designs for the coustumes and such: [ click here ](http://sumide1711uus-art-blog.tumblr.com/post/159080480940/all-the-references-i-made-for-my-hero-fic-brians)


End file.
